u/Toni_onReddit

Hey, I’m still unsure if my story counts as abuse or not, because I only ever told one person that didn’t even care enough to listen (thanks mom lol)

Okay to start this off it is important to note, that the other kid was also 8 years old and we were friends.
Basically my friend would come over to my house after school every day and it started like a normal friendship, but after some time she started becoming more and more interested in my ipad and I remember that one day she started showing me pornography and I didn’t know what that was, but felt like it was really wrong. At first it was “notmal” pornography, but over some time it became more and more violent stuff and eventually also involved children. She started touching me and I was frozen, I didn’t move, but really really wanted to. She said we “had to recreate” those videos and I don’t really remember what happened, but know that there was blood and that I had bladder problems afterwards. She also showed me insanely gory videos, but I feel like that’s not really relevant rn. I don’t know how long all this happened exactly, but I think it must have been at least a couple months, till my mom checked my ipad and found the videos. But she never did anything about it, or even ask. I tried telling her about it multiple times, but she doesn’t seem to care too much.

Anyways I’m not to sure if it actually was sa, because I only really remember small bits and pieces and not the actual thing that led to the blood or my bladder problems from back then. Idk if this makes sense rn, but I don’t really remember the action, just “the outcome” ig.

Heyy!! I was at my psychiatrist yesterday to talk about my meds and my depression, but after we talked a little she asked me to describe my depression again and she responded by saying, that the highs and lows I’m describing sound bipolar. I’m really confused now and am not quite sure if I should be posting in here. Her exact words were “the phases you’re describing sound like bipolar depression” but as far as I know there is no such thing, but please correct me if I’m wrong. She said I should go to a specialist for personality disorders and wrote a mail to the clinic I’ll probably go to in a month. So if anyone has advised, or maybe knows something I don’t please tell me!! Thxx

Hey, idk what to do so please help me. I’ll probably be admitted in 2 days and it all depends on my therapy session on Wednesday. I want to tell her that I have thought about ending it and all of the horrible things I still remember, but I’m wayyy too scared. The session is about going to the mental hospital anyway so I don’t have much to lose regardless. Anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is, how do i get her to admit me but not to tell me I’m too instabile. Last time I fucked up major so please help me. I have my depression diagnosis since February last year and have meds (yes I do take them and have tried multiple, current lexa pro), but they don’t help I just feel dull as fuck and can’t even go to work or do as much as take care of myself, but whenever I talk about it I’m suddenly ungrateful, or dramatic (thank you to my therapist, psychiatrist, neurologist and all the other fuck ass “professionals” btw).