u/TortelliniTort

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Anyone else frustratingly searching for work still after the Bar?

wtf

Hey everyone, just need to vent and maybe get some perspective.

I graduated from a notable state school (Michigan, Spring 2025) with a solid GPA and a good skill set. My internships weren't FAANG-level prestigious, but they were solid. Since graduating, I’ve sent out about 500 applications. That’s netted me around 10 first-round interviews, 5 second-rounds, and one that went all the way to the third round before falling through.

Now, I’m working an entry-level retail job just to pay the bills, and honestly? I feel like a total loser.

I hate the job, and I feel like my life is on complete pause due to factors I can’t control. My partner is trying their best to be supportive, but it’s straining. To make it worse, my friends who do have corporate jobs just don't get it. One of them told me, "Oh, it's just a numbers game," which took everything in me not to scream. 500 apps is playing the numbers game.

I know I’m not the only one dealing with this brutal market, but man, it sucks. How are you all coping with the post-grad retail slump without losing your mind?

Hey everyone,

I’m reaching out here because I’m currently in the middle of a brutal psychological crumble right now, and I need to know if anyone else here finds themselves looping into this exact same terrible trap.

Being adopted at birth, my deepest, most hardwired default setting is the fear of abandonment. I've gotten better at overcoming this with my friends... But the way it manifests in my adult relationship is completely counterintuitive and destructive.

Whenever I feel stressed, red-lined, or afraid that my girlfriend is going to leave, my "automatic mind" takes over and I lead out with fear-induced anger. It’s like this subconscious control mechanism—my brain thinks if I lash out or obsessively demand assurance, I can either control the narrative, or preemptively force a breakup so I can handle the ending on my own terms.

I fell into a terrible spiral of this just last night. I kept seeking assurance when I already had it, demanding that she fix my internal anxiety, and it completely broke her. Seeing her sob and tell me how unfair it is to have a partner who lashes out caused me a massive amount of guilt and pain.

And then the second phase of the loop kicks in, where I become incredibly, brutally harsh on myself. I look at how much I’ve let her down, and the self-loathing kicks into overdrive. It turns into this sick cycle: I expect my partner to take care of me and soothe my trauma, I feel abandoned or neglected when she understandably doesn't have the capacity to be my therapist, I lash out, and then I hate myself for sabotaging the best thing in my life.

I’m finally starting to realize through this pain that I cannot burden her or my friends with my chaos. I have to learn to sit with the suck of my own thoughts and realize that being alone with my anxiety doesn't mean I am actively being abandoned.

Does anyone else struggle with this exact loop of weaponized fear, expecting your partner to "fix" your adoption wounds, and then drowning in guilt when you realize you're pushing them away? How do you break the cycle and force yourself to grow before you push it past the point of no return?

I had assumed that the extended days of studying in front of a computer screen would make me feel lonely, but I find myself feeling even more isolated. Has anyone else experienced this feeling, or perhaps someone is experiencing it right now? There’s a chance this is also because law school has ended. So, for many July test takers, a significant portion of our social time has also been lost.

Hear me out, I upgraded from the 13 Mini last December to the 17 Pro. Now that the novelty’s worn off now, I feel as if the iPhone 17 Pro is so “in your face.” I’m a guy who likes to read books on an e-readers and I’ve found the phones taken away too much time. For instance, I never doom scrolled on the Mini but do so now on the 17 Pro. Has anyone else done something like this? It’s too bad Apple let it go. (nothing yes I know it didn’t sell well, but that’s not the point nor relevant to what I’m trying to say).