u/Traditional_Toe_7462

My bf ‘23M’ and I ‘19F’ have been dating for a year, but his family is unhealthily dysfunctional and codependent on each other. They all talk constantly all day in a group chat. I find it weird because they will gossip about me because of conversations they’ve overheard from my bf talking too loudly. There are a plethora of other reasons, big reasons, that I don’t like his family and think they are unhealthy. Especially because if I were to ever marry him and have a child, I don’t really want them being near my baby. Has anyone been through this?

TLDR: what to do when you dislike bf’s entire family

My bf (23M) and I (19F) have mental health issues that clash very heavily, but we are constantly working on fixing it. It can be ugly, but we love each other and have almost every other thing going for us.

We have come very far in our relationship and getting better, but I had a very bad anxiety attack one night for multiple reasons, and on my bf’s end, it seems like such a small trigger, but in my meticulous mind, there are multiple aspects. But the main thing is that he is a loud talker with an invasive family, so they overheard my anxiety attack the other night, and gossiped about it in the family group chat.

I get a text the next morning from his sister coming the heck at me with so much aggression, anger, and meanness, telling me that Deaglan and I aren’t compatible and that we need to break up desperately. She also made up a lot of false assumptions about me and was calling me names by taking tiny parts of a situation that happened and running with it and blowing it out of proportion. That’s how I thought of it, but my bf just thinks that his family is blunt and straightforward. I’m much more emotional than they are, clearly.

Although, my bf did say that he screamed at her for it, which I appreciated and felt very defended by him. But anyways, I am immensely uncomfortable and don’t plan on going back to his house for a very long time. I think I’m simply going to just work hard in therapy and prove to his family silently that I’m getting better and I am not clinically insane, and that not everything is my fault. But still, their bias and confrontational nature really scares me. I hate conflict, especially with an aggressive girl. I have low self esteem mentally I think, so it can be easy for me to tuck my tail in and run. But I want to be secure in myself for this situation and try really hard to not worry about their biased judgement and assumptions. I’m hoping some of you guys have advice on how to handle this

TL;DR