u/TrustBackground9801

Why do I even bother taking my meds if they don’t make me feel any better. All they do is sedate me and make me more tolerable for others and less annoying because i’m not in the hospital. I genuinely do not feel any better I have the intense itchiness and intense depression and agitated feeling that I have had since 12 years old but they don’t care how I’m feeling or about my quality of life. They only care that i’m less annoying and out of their hair.

just about every day i get the urge to cut again and recently i’ve relapsed. It feels so impossible to stop. my brain is wired now to feel better from it and it gets to the point where i can’t function without it at times.
It literally feels like im high when I cut now, I barely feel any pain like a couple years ago it’s just pleasure

I have so many scars and I don’t want any more but every positive coping skill barely does anything for me. Never ever compares to the real thing, the real relief.
I just want to be okay but it’s so, so hard to quit

18F, 5’8 136-138 lbs

goal is 130lbs

I’ve been working on my body composition for about a year and I’ve gained some muscle, with my active job and body weight exercise. In this process ive also lost about 10 lbs since this time last year.

Im having a really tough time shedding those last pounds and sticking to my deficit has felt impossible. My set calories right now are 1700-2000 and I go over that pretty much every day. sometimes it’ll get up to 2700 calories (in one day???? hello??). It’s like my body is fighting to keep me from losing anything lol.

Another issue i have is that my insomnia wakes me up at 4 am every day so I end up eating 700-900 calories before 9 am.

what are things to keep me from going over, and how can i post pone my eating in the morning?

I’m so tired of this please help

thank you

Does anyone else just like... not believe or understand why you're maintaining? I'm not really counting right now but the estimates I get every day is a lot to my brain. I am a fairly active person but it just doesn't seem right. I lowkey have been binge eating too. somehow despite bringing my intake up by quite a bit i haven"t been gaining. I'm at a healthy weight and I know I should just be happy with this but I'm still being tortured on the daily about it in my head.

Mr ed is being such an ass and I cannot get him to shut up. I've been weight restored for almost 2 years now after my restrictive ed got bad, but it's still a constant struggle with food. Treatment for me taught me how to eat more but it didn't teach me how to get my brain to shut up.

It's a frustrating loop and i'm curious if anyone else is dancing on this fun tightrope and please if you have some advice i'd gladly take it