u/Tub_Pumpkin

Hi, all -

Once again coming in hot off the wire from WV:

> Assault charges dropped against local comedian

> Criminal charges against local comedian Justin McElroy have been dropped, the prosecuting attorney's office for Cabell County announced on Wednesday.

> McElroy had been charged with assault and battery last October following an incident in a local restaurant, charges which could have included mandatory jail time.

> On Friday, October 3rd, McElroy and his family had been dining at Fat Patty's restaurant, located at 1935 Third Avenue in downtown Huntington. Fat Patty's staff members and customers reported that following a verbal confrontation, McElroy threw a hard-boiled egg as hard as he possibly could at another diner, striking him in the back of the head and ruining his life.

> Charges were pressed the following Monday.

> WSAZ3 spoke with a Fat Patty's staff member at the time of the incident. "[McElroy] asked for a hard-boiled egg," the witness told WSAZ3, "and when the server brought it out, he grabbed it and he wanged it as hard as he possibly could at the back of [the other diner's] head."

> When reached by WSAZ3, McElroy did not deny the charges. "Yeah I wanged it," he told us. "I wanged it as hard as I could! I wanged it right at him and I'm guilty as hell! Is that what you want to hear? I'm guilty as hell!"

> McElroy, a lifelong Huntington resident, is best known for appearing in the "Trolls 2" animated children's movie, and for starring in a 2007 television commercial for Berry & Cream-flavored Starburst.

> The prosecutor's office released a statement on Wednesday. "McElroy has agreed to participate in an anger management program, and attend a public safety seminar about the dangers of throwing hard boiled eggs at people and hitting them really hard in the head with them."

This is from Russell's "History of Western Philosophy," written around 1941-42, published in 1945. He is describing the "Hellenistic" world, post-Alexander. But when I read it last night, it seemed to describe the US of 2026.

>The general confusion was bound to bring moral decay, even more than intellectual enfeeblement. Ages of prolonged uncertainty ... are inimical to the every-day virtues of respectable citizens. There seems no use in thrift, when tomorrow all your savings may be dissipated; no advantage in honesty, when the man towards whom you practise it is pretty sure to swindle you; no point in steadfast adherence to a cause, when no cause is important or has a chance of stable victory; no argument in favour of truthfulness, when only supple tergiversation makes the preservation of life and fortune possible. The man whose virtue has no source except a purely terrestrial prudence will, in such a world, become an adventurer if he has the courage, and, if not, will seek obscurity as a timid time-server."

("Tergiversation" means "evasion of straightforward action or clear-cut statement; equivocation," by the way. Had to look that one up.)

This seems to describe us, now. Timid time-servers in a fully scam-based economy: AI, crypto, NFTs, the Trump Phone, etc. The general feeling that everything is getting worse and that each one of us is hoping to be able to scam enough money, quickly enough, to get through the even worse times to come. Disappearance of basic consideration of other people which extends to unexpected things, like, where I live, there are basically no traffic laws anymore, no one gives a shit. Employers listing a position as "remote" so the post gets views, even though the position is not remote.

Anyway

What do you think he means by "become an adventurer," though?

I missed the first 50 minutes. But, horrifyingly, there is a thing at the bottom of the screen that says, "Time Added: 1:12:00," and a timer in the bottom left that is counting down from (at time of writing) 1:27:50.

Travis is talking extremely loudly and his mic is blown out. A few moments after I tuned in, Griffin asked Travis to turn the gain on his mic down. Travis did, but his voice is still slightly distorted because he's shouting into the mic.

Justin and Griffin are trying desperately to inject jokes into this thing. Every time they open their mouths, Travis has this reaction of expressing-frustration-while-also-trying-to-express-something-like-haha-i'm-not-frustrated. And then he barrels on.

Justin is eating on stream. He has a red napkin around his neck and has a little cup of something, looks like maybe a little cup of chili. He's eating it with a spoon throughout this whole stream so far, chewin' right in the mic.

• 11:59 - Travis is unclear about when an event on the show took place and says, "I don't know. Time is an illusion." Justin says, "I can certainly fucking attest to that."

• 12:01 - Travis just got to the end of an episode, but I'm not sure which one, since I tuned in late.

• 12:01 - We have confirmation that what Justin is eating is chili, with "scallions, beans..."

• 12:02 - That was episode four. We're moving onto episode 5.

• 12:02 - Griffin explains that every time they add a new MaxFun subscriber, they add a minute to the stream. It is now up to "Time Added: 1:17:00," with 1:24:20 remaining.

• 12:03 - Kevin Costner's character stabs a bloated cow to let the gas out.

• 12:06 - In the chat, it is explained that it's actually 1 minute for every 5 new members.

• 12:06 - Travis makes fun of the names on the show a little bit, and Justin says, "Actually, Trav, your indignation right there can fuck off."

• 12:07 - This show sounds straight ass. I am not really going to say anything Yellowstone.

Actually I'm not doing this.

• 1:44 - I dipped back in. Travis was talking about a flashback that amused him. He said something like, "You guys aren't as into this..." referring to the flashback, but Justin says, "IMAGINE MY SURPRISE that my enthusiasm for this project does not match yours."

• 2:09 - I think a bunch of people saw how the time-adding mechanic worked, and waited until the last 5-10 minutes. It keeps counting down a minute and then adding another minute. Griffin is staring at the clock, stunned that it has reached 5:00 like three separate times. It just keeps adding.

• 2:13 - They just added another minute and Griffin said, "...'nother minute..." with the same tone I imagine Sisyphus has before each time up the mountain.

• 2:14 - Griffin trying desperately to wrap it up: "It's an honor it's a joy. Fuck, another minute..."

It is actually over for real now.

Total runtime: 3 hours, 15 minutes, 55 seconds.