u/Turbulent-Level-86

I wanted to wait for her to purchase a home together, so I waited and waited. Eventually she’s nowhere to be found.

I’m going ahead with a house purchase. At the development I’ve always dreamt of buying. Not the best unit but apartments there have been rising at $100k per year and I’ve waited around total of 3+ years and got priced out of more favourable units.

Started to remember the person(s) I was dating when I used to live there (rented when I was younger) and how much better my life was.

I never doubted them, I never had to question my worth, my sanity, and they were independent with their own careers, not expecting me to provide for everything.

I of course wish I did these when I was 37, and not now when I’m 40. But hopefully it’s better late than never. Next up I hope my new ventures go well, and I’ll be purchasing any unit I fancy in the future!

I’m forgiving myself here, and intend on focusing on the good I still have, and remember my worth, and make space for the right person to share a life with.

Only upward from here and now.

Got out of a multi year depression recently (or maybe still battling the last bits of it), and came back to a world significantly more expensive (I didn't invest my money and missed out on a couple of mils in S&P growth), I've put on a few pounds, lost strength, and now trying to rebuild a few businesses with AI at the age of 40.

Spent the last few months trying to get things done on my own, but did not get too far.

Currently trying to delegate as many tasks as possible, e.g.

-Business and work - delegating the builds, outreach, content, etc.

-Personal health - thinking to pay to get help to lose fat.

-Therapy

I'm finding that it's not just the expertise I'm paying for, but also the accountability and support, that I'm not getting because there's just no one around me.

Because some days I forget and end up feeling bad I wasn’t good enough for her

But let’s not forget how she never once took accountability for the things she did

How she would even admit to be toxic and joked about it

How she has no empathy and genuinely can’t seem to understand the pain she has caused

Wants unconditional love but has absolutely no idea (or care) what she brings to the relationship

How cruel she is - like she does not care about boundaries and sometimes would even send really gruesome trigger warning required kind of videos and laugh about it (when I got it I was soooo mad and upset! Felt sick)

How she cheated on someone else with me (she ghosted me first, and then things got better, and I assumed whatever she had was over - yes I had such low standards)

How she bullied all her exes - most of them sounded like total pushovers… I guess it’s why she didn’t choose to stick it out with me. I kept putting up boundaries and talked things like being mutually respectful and empathy…

A few days ago, I wrote about how I accepted my ex is narcissistic (after she ghosted me a year ago, so I guess I’ve had a year to recover… slowly but surely)

And an hour ago, I had a vendor snapped hard at me. Same set of behavior - lying, avoiding, more lying, deflecting by calling names, insulting, having zero remorse, taking no true accountability.

Made my stomach sick. Even though it’s just a couple of hundred bucks. It’s more about the behavior.

He basically sent me the wrong order 2 months ago, and I pointed it out immediately. He said he’d try to send a replacement overnight, and if not, he’d do a refund. He did not. Yo, it’s only $60. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Then his social media profile disappeared. I messaged him nicely on his other communication channels. Got no reply.

In between, got his 1 staff to communicate numerous times said the item has been shipped, I kept looking out for the package, or got others to do so (as I was travelling). Nothing ever arrived. Then claimed they’ve sent the refund. Again nothing. Who the hell plays such sick games?!

I finally decided it’s enough - and decided to confront him in his telegram group (very few people) with the screenshots. He decided to lie blatantly to the group that I was the difficult one and twisted a bunch of things.

Luckily all the evidence were easily in the chats we had. I shared them all and refuted every single point. Easily. He saw the messages a day later, kicked me out of the group, and lashed out at me. At least he finally responded 🤣

Narc behavior incoming (!!) Started by calling names, deflecting, acting all righteous. TWO MONTHS. And he saw nothing wrong at all with his behavior.

But the same behavior of dragging me into his arguments, the same old shit… is TOO FAMILIAR.

Funny cause just days after I said I’ve finally accepted the end of that relationship, and started taking words from this sub to be grateful I never had kids with or married that person… this had to happen.

I’ll just take it that it’s truly the end of my narc season in life, clearing it all out of my life and system for good.

May I find love and people I never have to question and can live authentically and abundantly with, from now on. ❤️❤️

Seeing so many people commenting on these posts, sharing about how you fill time with your choice of activities, and my serious question is…

How did yall do it??
Like how much $ do you need and how did you land there?

Asking this because at 40, I’m still having to hustle on, and even with multiple breaks from burnouts, I think I’m still not fully healed lol… and I too would like this carefree financially independent life…

Saved a lot? Made a lot from investments?
Is it keeping expenses low?
Like, being childfree? Keep expectations low?

For me, I’m thinking about an exit plan. Maybe live overseas instead…

Hi, would like to tap on the wisdom of the internet crowd to help me figure out.. how much I’m gonna need to possibly retire in TP

Background:
Current age 38
Planning to have kids
International school is a maybe but not necessarily
Rent will probably be a 3 bedroom down the road (I think buying is a little out of the picture now)

It will probably be 2 pax for 1-2 years
Then kid1 within 2 years, and another preferably 1-2 years after (or just 1 is fine in this economy)

Not Taiwanese and will figure ways to stay if I love it (going for gold card first)

I get that it’s never entirely like that in many ways, we all retain something from the past, be it memories, scars, assets, social networks, etc…

For me, it’s maybe life experience and some financial assets. Thankful for good health and good passport too. Almost 40, and maybe it’s now or never.

Somehow, I feel like I’ve drained out most of my friendships here, I also do not have family support any more. It’s made me post something like I did earlier, about doing up a will.

For extra context too, I don’t think I’ll stay in Singapore in the short term, and will be looking at doing this in a new city/country, though I’ll be keeping my professional ties in Singapore (another area to rethink how to maintain and improve on)

I feel like I have a lot to unlearn and relearn regarding rebuilding my social network. How do some people have so many people loving them, being around them?

I’m definitely not a pro at this, but hoping to learn.

-Be someone who adds value to others, like, build a community, take initiative to bring people together, connect others…
-Be a positive inspirational person
-Not be a burden

As someone who’s very introverted, quite angsty and depressed in life, always anxious, I definitely think id need to rewire my mind quite a bit, seek out hardcore intense therapy (need recommendatioj for this), to get there.

How do i change me? How do i become a better person? How do i build a meaningful support system?

Maybe this is the kick in the butt i need. For I realized that 1. I don’t have anyone to leave money to, 2. I dont even gave a will executor, 3. I dont think there’ll be anyone attending my funeral other than maybe to be kaypoh.

I genuinely do not know how to fix this, and thought maybe I’ll try asking here… if anyone has some good advice or can even offer concrete help, I’m all ears. Arigato 🙏🏼

I’m physically not in Singapore.

Not doing too well mentally, but have a couple of mil $$ that I do not want to naturally go to my living parent who was never present for me.

I will likely donate to charity (any suggestions please let me know)

Hanging on to my dear life. But just in case I don’t make it.

I’m physically not in Singapore.

Not doing too well mentally, but have a couple of mil $$ that I do not want to naturally go to my living parent who was never present for me.

I will likely donate to charity (any suggestions please let me know)

Hanging on to my dear life. But just in case I don’t make it.

Hey wondering if GHL 's whatsapp automation is any good to help us respond to leads and then close sales. We are in the consultancy business, and we would need to ask a bunch of questions and also move them towards our offer to say yes / hop on a call to close with us.

Is GHL any good for that?

We actually just paid someone to try to build us a whatsapp agent separately...

Yes feel free to add details of age and anything you'd like.

Trying to get a sense of how much is needed to support a fam of 4!