u/Typical-Word-2765

I spent an hour cooking a meal for my husband to have ready right when he got home from work. I know an hour isn’t that long, but with a newborn who wants to be held 24/7, even the simplest things can be hard to get done. Of course, the first thing he does when he gets home is say hi to the dog before anyone else, then take a shower before eating. I should’ve known something was going to happen, but I heard my baby crying and went to check on him.

About 15 minutes later, I heard a HUGE crash from the kitchen. We can all guess what happened: the dog knocked the pot right off the stove and helped himself to the entire meal I had just cooked. I genuinely thought the stove being hot would keep him away, but I was wrong. What bothers me most is that everyone seemed to find it funny and cute, even though the dog was the only one who got to enjoy the meal I spent an hour making. He gobbled the whole thing up in five minutes, and I’m still wondering why nobody stopped him.

Honestly, this makes me worry about the future. What happens when my baby starts crawling or walking? What if the dog gets jealous, knocks him down when he’s doing something cute, or steals his toys? Will everyone still find it cute then? Because to me, this isn’t just about a ruined meal. It’s about feeling like my effort doesn’t matter and worrying that people aren’t taking my concerns seriously when it comes to my baby’s safety.

I didn’t want the dog around the newborn in the first place, and honestly, his behavior around the baby has only reinforced why I felt that way. He constantly jumps on you when you’re holding the newborn, sits there barking and growling, and stares at the baby with an intense gaze that makes me extremely uncomfortable. He’s always trying to sneak into the room behind our backs even though he knows he isn’t allowed in there, and he’ll jump onto furniture where you’re sitting with the newborn even though he knows he’s not supposed to. When I say “he sneaks into the room“ I mean, it reminds me when wild animals hunt in the wild. No clue how he’s getting pass the babygate (I do and it’s why we have one by the door too not just the stairs)

He’ll even sit directly in the spot you’re trying to go to when you have the baby, giving you that “this is my spot” look. He whines whenever the attention isn’t on him, especially when it’s on the newborn, and I can’t even say “awh” to the baby without him acting completely out of control. He wasn’t like this before the baby he’s always been hyper and a lot to handle, but now there’s a newborn involved, and that changes everything. I firmly believe in keeping the baby and dog separated and never leaving them unattended together. If it were entirely up to me, I wouldn’t have him around the baby at all because he’s too hyper, possessive, and seemingly jealous of the attention the baby gets. Especially when grandma is giving the baby attention, he loses his mind and jumps all over her. I also know border collies, aren’t recommended to have around kids especially babies. Every single one my friend had didn’t like small children at all, and would tend to nip or full on bite them.

but when I try to stay this rule I’m told, “That dog is family too,” my postpartum brain doesn’t hear it that way it hears, “The dog more important then the baby,” and that’s a really difficult thing for me to hear when all I’m trying to do is protect my newborn and feel comfortable in my own home. Also I prioritize human children over animals. Which seems to be a huge issue when I tell other people?

Edit: We also found out the baby had colic! So the dog being around while the baby is for hours would make it 10x worse I believe.

I ended up going off on my husband because I was honestly at my breaking point. I was already hurt from everything that happened with the meet and greet, but then hearing the way he responded to me made everything so much worse.

He told me, “We were trying to let you sleep,” “(dog’s name) needs to be comfortable,” and “You’re crazy for being upset. We’re trying to make a dog comfortable.” Then he said, “We knew you’d be too paranoid for it.”

That one really got to me.

Because how am I supposed to feel when the person who is supposed to understand me is basically telling me that my concerns about our baby and our home are just me being “crazy” and “paranoid”? I’m not upset because I don’t want a dog to be comfortable. I’m upset because I had very clearly said I was not ready. I had concerns, I communicated those concerns multiple times, and instead of having a conversation with me and respecting where I was at, they went ahead without me because they already decided I would say no anyway.

And that’s what I’m struggling with. It feels like my opinion only matters if it’s the opinion they want to hear.

I am a new mom. I’m exhausted. I’m up throughout the night constantly feeding our baby, comforting him, getting him back to sleep, and doing everything I can to take care of him. So yes, I’m going to be more cautious about bringing an animal into our home when I have already seen destructive and jealous behavior and when I have concerns about the way the dog interacts with the baby. Maybe someone else wouldn’t be worried about it, but I am. And I don’t think I should have to apologize for taking my baby’s safety seriously.

What makes this whole situation hurt even more is that this isn’t the first time I’ve felt left out when it comes to my own baby.

They even weighed the baby without me.

I was SO excited to see how much he had gained. I have been up all night, constantly getting out of bed to feed him, worrying about whether he’s eating enough, watching him grow, and doing everything I can to make sure he’s healthy. That was a moment I was genuinely looking forward to. I wanted to be there and see that number. I wanted to celebrate how much he had gained after all those sleepless nights and feedings. After all the soreness.

And they did it without me.

Maybe to them it was just weighing the baby. Maybe it seems like something small and insignificant. But to me, it wasn't. It was another moment involving my baby that I wanted to be a part of, and once again I felt like I was being pushed tothe side.

That’s why all of this is hitting me so hard. It’s not just one dog. It’s not just one meet and greet. It’s not just one time weighing the baby. It’s starting to feel like a pattern of people making decisions or doing things without me and thenexpecting me to just be okay with it.

And honestly, people always say that having kids can ruin relationships, but sometimes it genuinely feels like it’s the dog that is causing problems in ours half the time. And I hate that. I hate feeling like I’m competing with a dog for consideration in my own marriage. I hate that something that should be a conversation between my husband and me has turned into me feeling like everyone else has already made up their minds and I’m just the difficult one because I’m uncomfortable.

I don't want to be the “crazy paranoid mom.” I don’t want to be the controlling wife. I don’t want to be the person who is constantly upset.

I want to be listened to.

I want my husband to understand that when I say I’m not ready, I’m not saying it to be difficult. I’m saying it because I genuinely need time. I need to feel comfortable. I need to know that our baby and our home are being considered before decisions are made.

And honestly, I’m tired of feeling like my feelings are an inconvenience.

I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain over and over why something hurts me before anyone takes me seriously. I’m tired of being excluded and then being told I’m crazy for being upset about being excluded.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me on everything. I don't expect everyone to see things exactly the way I do. But I do expect my husband to respect me enough to include me, communicate with me, and understand why certain things are important to me.

Especially when it comes to our baby.

Especially when it comes to our home.

And especially when I have repeatedly told him that I’m not okay with something.

I don't need people to tell me I'm right. I just need people to understand why this hurts so much. Because at this point, I’m not just angry about what happened. I’m hurt because I feel like my voice, my role as a mother, and my place as a wife are all being pushed aside when it’s inconvenient.

I just want to feel like we’re a team again.

My Boundary Was Ignored

What hurts me the most is that you went behind my back and went into the meet and greet with the dog after I told you multiple times that I was not ready and that I did not want to do it. You knew how I felt, and instead of respecting that, you chose to do what you wanted anyway. This is so much bigger than just meeting a dog. I have genuine concerns about this dog because it has already shown destructive and jealous behavior, and the way it continues to give the baby that strange look makes me uncomfortable and puts me on edge. As a mother, I am going to take those feelings seriously, especially when it comes to something that could potentially affect our baby’s safety and our home.

I’m not saying these things because I want to be difficult or because I don’t care about what you want. I’m saying them because I’m not comfortable, I’m not ready, and I need to feel safe and confident before bringing another animal into our home. I needed you to listen to me, talk to me, and respect my decision instead of going behind my back. When I repeatedly say no and you go ahead anyway, it makes me feel like my voice doesn’t matter to you. It makes me question whether I can trust you to respect my boundaries when something is important to me.

I need you to understand that this isn’t something I can just brush off. You made a decision that directly affected me, our home, and our baby after knowing exactly how I felt. I need us to be a team, especially when it comes to decisions involving our child and our household. I need to know that when I say I’m not ready, you will respect that—not work around me or do something behind my back and expect me to be okay with it. Right now, I feel hurt, betrayed, and completely disregarded, and I need you to understand why this has affected me so deeply.

It’s incredibly frustrating that you keep pushing for a meet and greet when I’m clearly not comfortable with it right now. He isn’t just energetic—he’s destructive and hyper, and the way he keeps staring at the baby with that strange, fixated look and watching him through the gate feels unsettling to me. I’m already completely exhausted because I’m up with our week-old baby every 30–60 minutes around the clock while he’s cluster feeding, so I’m severely sleep deprived and running on fumes. The last thing I need right now is to feel pressured into introducing them before I’m ready, especially when my instincts are telling me to slow down and be cautious. I need you to respect that and understand that keeping the baby safe and keeping things calm right now has to come before forcing a meet and greet. The last thing I also need is a stinky slobber mouth all over my baby

Does anyone know why a dog might stare at a newborn with really wide eyes and then lick his lips while looking at the baby? It’s my husband’s dog, and honestly, the behavior makes me really uncomfortable. Something about the intense staring and lip licking feels weird and off-putting to me, especially around my newborn. I’m curious if anyone has experienced this or knows what this body language could mean. I’m definitely not trying to overreact, but it’s making me uneasy and I’d rather understand what the behavior means. I’ve been wanting him to rehome the dog, since he’s already destroyed some of babies things, steals food, is a huge mess overal. But should I definitely push for this now?

Am I in the wrong for not letting my husband’s mom watch my newborn when she openly said she wouldn’t feed him every two hours like his doctor instructed us to? He was born a little small, so making sure he eats frequently is especially important right now. I’m not trying to keep anyone away from him or hurt anyone’s feelings, but as his mom, I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure he’s being cared for according to his doctor’s instructions. If someone tells me upfront that they aren’t going to follow an important medical recommendation for my baby, I don’t feel comfortable leaving him in their care. I don’t think this is about being controlling or unreasonable it’s about putting my newborn’s health and needs first.

He is just now plumping up and gaining a lot of weight. She also complained no one spends time with her anymore but he spends all his free time with her as is. I’m really glad I got l lucky and didn’t get postpartum

I’m 21 and a FTM it really that bad to let your newborn fall asleep on you while you’re taking a nap? I know the whole conversation around newborn sleep safety can be really intense, and I completely understand why people emphasize putting babies in their crib or bassinet, but I’m genuinely wondering how terrible it is if my baby sometimes falls asleep on my chest while I’m resting. Sometimes he absolutely refuses to settle anywhere else and will only fall asleep if I’m holding him, and once he’s comfortable and sleeping on me, I hate disturbing him because he finally seems peaceful. My husband is usually right there with me and stays awake watching the whole time, so I’m not just intentionally leaving the baby unattended or ignoring him. I’m wondering if other parents have dealt with this too, because I feel like there’s a huge difference between intentionally choosing an unsafe sleeping situation and accidentally falling asleep for a few minutes while trying to comfort your newborn. At the same time, I don’t want to convince myself that something is safe just because it’s convenient or because nothing bad has happened before. I know newborns are incredibly vulnerable, and I’ve heard that the safest place for them to sleep is on their back in their own flat, firm sleep space, so I’m trying to figure out how to balance wanting those sweet contact naps with actually keeping him safe. Is there also a way to transfer him into his crib once he’s in a deeper sleep without immediately waking him up? I swear sometimes the second I move even an inch, he knows and wakes right back up. I’ve tried waiting until he seems completely relaxed, keeping him close to my body while I move him, and putting him down slowly, but sometimes he still wakes up instantly. I’d really love advice from parents who have figured out a good way to transition their newborn from a contact nap into the crib without completely ruining the nap. I also want to know whether there are any signs that tell you he’s in a deeper stage of sleep and therefore more likely to stay asleep during the transfer. I’m not trying to argue with safe-sleep recommendations at all; I’m genuinely asking because I’m exhausted, my baby wants to be held constantly, and sometimes the only way either of us gets any rest is when he falls asleep on me. I just want to make sure I’m not doing something genuinely dangerous without realizing it, and if the answer is that I really shouldn’t sleep while he’s sleeping on my chest, then I’d rather know that and figure out a better way to get him comfortable in his crib. there’s also night where I’ve been really scared about putting by him by himself cause can’t protect him it feels like. Is that just a monther instinct thing? Should I go ahead and buy a bassinet so we can right next to me ? the crib is already in our room but he still feels so far away.

It honestly drives me absolutely insane when everyone keeps saying, “He’s only barking because he’s worried about the baby,” or “He’s going to be such a good protector,” when that is NOT what I’m seeing at all. If he were barking because he was genuinely concerned about the baby crying, I would expect him to react regardless of who was getting attention, but that’s not what happens. He seems to get worked up specifically when the baby is being held, cuddled, fed, talked to, or otherwise getting attention that used to be directed toward him. The timing is what bothers me so much. It’s like everyone is determined to put this sweet little “protective dog” narrative on him instead of actually paying attention to his behavior. I’m not saying the dog is some evil monster or that he is intentionally trying to hurt the baby, but I’m also not going to ignore obvious jealousy just because everyone thinks it’s cute to call him the baby’s “protector.” A dog can be attached to his owners and still struggle with suddenly having a newborn take up a huge amount of their attention. Those two things can exist at the same time. And honestly, I think people romanticize this whole “dog protects baby” thing way too much. A dog being interested in a crying baby does not automatically mean he understands that the baby needs protecting, and barking when the baby is receiving attention doesn’t automatically mean he is concerned for the baby. From my perspective, it looks much more like he is frustrated that the baby is getting attention and he wants that attention redirected back toward him. That is especially concerning to me because a newborn is obviously going to need an enormous amount of attention, and I don’t think we should just assume a dog will magically understand that and be perfectly happy about it. I’ve also heard people talk about dogs becoming competitive around resources after a baby arrives, including food and attention, and while I know that doesn’t mean every dog will do that, it’s exactly why I think people need to take these behaviors seriously instead of laughing them off as “he’s just being protective.” Food, toys, space, attention, and access to their owners can all become things a dog values, so I would much rather be cautious and manage the situation properly than assume everything is fine because the dog is supposedly the baby’s guardian now. What frustrates me the most is that I’m the one actually watching the behavior happen, yet everyone else seems determined to explain it away for me. I’m not trying to make the dog the villain. I’m trying to acknowledge that he is an animal who may be struggling with a massive change in his environment and that the baby’s safety needs to come before everyone’s feelings about how adorable their relationship is supposed to be. If he eventually learns to calmly coexist with the baby, great. If he becomes gentle and trustworthy around him, even better. But I’m not going to force some fantasy that he is automatically going to be a protector when the behavior I’m actually seeing looks more like frustration and jealousy whenever the baby gets something he wants — especially attention. I would much rather be overly cautious with a newborn than dismiss warning signs because everyone wants to believe the dog is going to be his little bodyguard. He also had this look in those eyes that I did not like and my instincts are telling me telling me not to trust. I really cannot wait till we’re able to save up for own place and be pet free.

Is it normal to want to be around my newborn literally 24/7 and feel like I don’t want to leave his side? He’s so little right now, and I find myself constantly checking on him, worrying about him, and wanting to make sure he’s okay. I just have this huge urge to protect him, take care of him, and be near him all the time. Even when he’s sleeping peacefully, I’ll find myself checking on him because I worry something could be wrong. I know I’m probably being extra cautious because he’s so new, but I was wondering if other moms felt this way during those first few days or weeks. Is it normal to feel this attached and protective right away? My birthday is soon and I’d rather spend it with him. I love him so much and it gives me an amazing feeling I’ve never felt before being a mom. I’ve carried him for 9 months so I feel this; bound and connection I don’t have with anybody else.

I’m honestly so sick of seeing people passing their pets off as service dogs when it’s pretty obvious from the way they behave that they aren’t properly trained service animals. And I’m especially talking about the dogs that are completely untrained, constantly misbehaving, barking, lunging, or showing aggressive behavior in public. A legitimate service dog is supposed to be trained to behave appropriately in public, and there’s a huge difference between a service animal and someone simply putting a vest on their pet. My biggest concern is safety what realistically happens if an out-of-control dog bites a child, knocks someone over, or attacks another person? Someone could get seriously hurt, and the consequences could be devastating. Even if you’re not trying to pass your dog off as a service animal, I still don’t understand why some people think it’s okay to bring a completely misbehaving dog into public places and expect everyone else to tolerate it. I’m talking about dogs that bark nonstop, lunge at people, jump on strangers, act aggressive, or simply cannot behave themselves. And the ones that go to the bathroom inside stores or other public places and the owner just leaves it there are honestly the worst. If your dog has an accident, clean it up. If your dog is constantly causing problems, handle the situation instead of expecting everyone around you to deal with it. Not every dog is suited for being in public, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your dog at home if they can’t behave. Sometimes the most responsible thing you can do as an owner is just leave the dog at home. I had my husband take the dog up to my workplace on my break that I wanted to relax and it was hell. Definitely ruined my lunch that day..

I really feel like I had to make this VERY clear because apparently people think I’m being unreasonable: I am NOT going to let this dog walk all over me or have free access to the nursery just because everyone else has always allowed it. My baby is FOUR DAYS OLD. This dog barks constantly, needs to be the center of attention, has jealousy issues, gets into things, destroys things, and is overall untrained. I don’t understand why people are acting like it’s outrageous for me to want some boundaries between him and my newborn, especially when he has already shown that he cannot be trusted around the baby’s belongings. I’m not saying the dog can never see the baby or that he has to be locked away forever. I’m saying he doesn’t need unrestricted access to the nursery or to be around my newborn unsupervised. And honestly, I’m shocked that people actually disagree with me for wanting to be cautious with a four-day-old newborn. I’m the mother, and I’m allowed to decide what I’m comfortable with when it comes to my baby’s safety and environment. The dog being used to getting whatever he wants doesn’t mean I have to continue allowing it. Being postpartum and having and having to deal with a clingy and dog that destroys things will not work for me. They claim that I’m trying to make everyone’s life revolve around a baby, which its a baby I can’t defend itself… this is why I will have a pet free home when we get our own place. I made this very clear that no person or animal is above my baby or comes first now.

I had already told the people I live with from the beginning that I did not want the dog around the baby because I was concerned about the dog being too close to him. Unfortunately, when the dog was around him, he barked directly in the baby’s face while I had him in his swing. The dog also got slobber and hair all over the baby, which scared him. This is exactly why I had expressed my concerns about having the dog around the baby in the first place. I’m working on getting somewhere with NO DOG. Cause I said we’re getting our own place and they said “we will be taking uncle (dogs name) with us. We pay 600 for rent btw

Every single subreddit I try posting this too it gets taken down and my account gets banned.

all I said was I want the dog to stay out of the nursery for a few months because he already gets into and destroys the baby's things. And people on here completely twisted my words

I even clearly stated, the dog can still SEE THE BABY. He just doesn’t need full access to the room or left unattended with baby. Yet they act like, I gave the dog an eviction notice and said

“I hate this dog. He isn't family. He must be banished from the house. Everyone must redesign their lives around my baby.”

They even said “just put all the things up where the dog can’t get it” but that’s besides the point I wanna make the room, baby friendly and be able to have his things out without worrying about them being taken or destroyed. He also gets his hair everywhere and I’m the one cleaning up after him even if he chews up or breaks something.

I’m not saying the dog can’t exist in the house or that I hate him I just don’t want him around the baby’s things when he has already broken, stolen, and destroyed stuff. Somehow wanting one room to be dog-free made people act like I was the villain. I genuinely don’t understand why setting a completely reasonable boundary for my baby’s space is so controversial? They also kept saying “the dog has feelings” “the dog can be around baby 24/7 if he wants to” “dogs can be left unsupervised with a baby it’s fine“

The dog isn't being banished. He isn't being kicked out. He isn't being prevented from seeing the baby. He just doesn't need unlimited access to the baby's room. That's literally it.

But apparently on Reddit, saying “the dog can stay out of ONE ROOM” translates to “I have declared the dog an enemy of the state.” I genuinely don't understand why such a simple boundary has people acting like I'm committing some unforgivable crime.

People calling me entitled, selfish, controlling, a horrible person, a “cranky pregnant woman,” and acting like I’m some kind of monster for wanting a clean, dog-free nursery. Some were even making comments about me having a baby and questioning my character over a DOG GATE. They were also calling me a ”guest“ “free lorder” “skank” “Wh04e”. Like how did “I don't want the dog in the nursery for a few months” turn into people judging my entire life? You can disagree with me without insulting me or making up things I never said. The amount of anger over one room being off-limits to a destructive dog is honestly insane to me. FYI WE DO PAY RENT AND BUY OUR OWN GROCERIES.

These would also be the same people who’d probably agree if you said “we have a child free room where the kids aren’t allowed to go“. I have hope that this is one subreddit that won’t say, I’m the crazy one for this.