u/UnComfortable_Tea_50

I really want to pick up reading again, but I feel like I lose interests in books half way through because 1. I forgot I was reading them and 2. When I do pick it up, I dont always remember what happened in the pages before.

For context, my memory works a lot like a wiki page in that I dont actually have a memory of something but like a bullet point. For example, I might read a book and then pick it up later and only have a "There's a character named Triss. Shes on a boat"

My switches arent super overt and im resetively newly diagnosed so we are working on identifying everyone still, so I cant be like "Oh yeah, so and so read last time, let's ask".

Im moving into phase 2 of my therapy with my structural dissociation and my therapist asked me to think about what goals I want to focus on, and reassess my treatment plan.

I have a lot of super broad goals. (Deal with the trauma from my parents, get a handle on basic life tasks, regain enough confidence to work again) And idea on how to narrow them down? Im worried if I pick one, I wont get help with the others?

Also I feel like integration is the obvious goal but I dont know if i want that right now. At least not enough to make it my whole *GOAL*, ya know?

Hello everyone! This is my first time here, so go easy on me haha. I honestly had no idea where to go with this question.

This is going to be a long one, but unfortunately the context matters a lot, so bare with me.

My husband and I practice on the fringe of BDSM (think amazon and Adam and Eve lmao) but hes always been in the dominant role and Ive always been in the submissive role. This has worked great for us for years.

About 6 months ago, however, I was diagnosed with DID by a licensed professional. Now that I am aware of my system, I have an alter that is VERY much into the submissive side off BDSM but I have other parts that are now -severely- triggered by it.

Im working through the parts stuff with my therapist but in the mean time, my husband offered to switch roles so that we could still have fun and I could have control so my system wouldn't freak out. We rehashed dos and donts and for the most part everything has been fine.

Except Im a horrible dom. Hes been patient and he gave me a list of things I could do to him and I feel so embarassed and guilty about doing it to him. I need help lmao.

I tried the soft dom thing and that was okay, but its really not what hes looking for. He said we could go at my pace but i get awkward as fuck and start quoting spongebob. ​I keep asking him if hes okay and apologizing and its kind of stressing me out because I know Im taking him out of it.

Any tips? Am I hopeless? 🥲 Eventually my more sexual alter takes over and its better but I still feel guilty as fuck afterwards.

Thank you so much for you time, guys.

NAT

My therapists keeps acting shocked when I say things, especially lately. Not in a bad way I guess, shes not derailing the session, and I really like her, we are a good fit.

But it kinda short circuits my brain when she does it. I figured therapists kind of "heard it all" for the most part. I know they are still human and have lots of empathy but it still feels kinda crazy, i feel like my issues are kind of mundane.

Am I just misjudging here?

NAT

I was recently diagnosed with OSDD and mu therapist specifically said not to go to reddit looking for answers. She gave me a short list of CPTSD(I was also diagnosed with CPTSD) facebook groups that are run by professionals and some extended reading.

I asked about reddit and she said she would suggest I stay clear and focus on the resources she gave me.

I know the therapists on here are obviously on reddit, but how do you feel about your clients finding answers on reddit?

NAT.

This is a general question, I promise! I just need to give some background.

I have a fantastic relationship with my therapist, just to put that up front. I don't think is malicious or anything at all.

But theres a specific pillow I normally grab when I get into session. Its got extra bits in it to grab and I can bury my hands in it. It was ALWAYS on the couch for like the first 2 months and then sometimes it was on the couch and sometimes it was across the room, next to her. Sometimes it was missing completely. I always noticed but never asked for it. Im normally her first client of the day so its not like she was moving it for someone else. And its always been on the couch whenever a particularly hard session was coming up.

Maybe im being a little paranoid but this feels kind of deliberate? Do therapists move things around to see if the client will ask?

I havent asked her because it feels super silly and kinda embarrassing.

When i first started seeing my therapist, about 3 months in she told me she suspects i had a dissociative disorder. She told me I could habe 15 minutes of research but thats it.

I have done a lot more than 15 minutes of research. About a month ago she had me do one of those large diagnostic tests (the MID I think? It had 218 questions) and she said it confirmed what she was thinking, which was DID.

Could I have accidentally faked my results because I did that research? I didnt feel like I was filling it out to trick the test, but what if I did it subconsciously?

Is that possible?