I am curious as to the prospectives of people that ether have DID or are endogenic or have faked or have any exsperince with this topic or any opinions. I am seeking to understand things. If someone wants to add a logical outlook on these things by including studies they may. I am curious as to what really could be the truth.
(note: im sorry if i get words and terms wrong- i get scared of researching because of misinformation and i lost my therapist awhile ago so i cant go ask her my questions)
im the current host in my system, and my system has what i think is called inner dating, basically its the alters date other alters thing. Outwardly we will never date anyone. Due to traumas a relationship will never be possible with another person, and honestly i'm kinda happy with that. definitely NOT happy about the trauma, but being aroace really isnt so bad and im happy with myself. I feel like being with another person would just be stressful and upsetting not to mention all the trauma triggers. I stopped feeling romantic/sexual love after traumatic events just kept on coming and then one really bad one happened that im not comfortable looking into but it went and changed everything (it was when i split off the former host and became the new host too) I'm happy as I am with my Gatekeeper who Im in a relationship with.
I love spending time with my gatekeeper, and we like doing things together through co-front. Though recently I keep on getting these couples games/activities shorts on my youtube feed that look really fun and I'd love to do them with my gatekeeper but because of the games they are there would require a second actual physical person there. I'm starting to get sad and envious because i always want to do more fun new things with my gatekeeper, so I was wondering if I could turn to here to ask for suggestions on things? I'd really appreciate some suggestions on couples games/activities we could play.
Some details to keep in mind about our host and system is we have DID OSDD and are non-possessive. We're largely there with our system just sort of merging but aware of one another. We have a non-interference pact with one another so we can have little bedlam as possible and almost no infighting other than for more time or when we're thinking of doing something stupid against our own collective's interest.
One thing we find eternally puzzling with DID is the one body=one crime rule used outside of something as clear cut as homicide or the like. Some people say if Dave has been tactically blocked by somebody then all their alters should follow this rule too. Dave is the host so he can but others who were not even involved in the slight that was rendered to the blocker why are they subject to this? With this rule somebody could effectively root out our system and openly say to our alters their lives they created online don't matter. This is vexing to all of us. Perhaps it's because with DID as typical case people see it as one person hallucinating people but we have DID OSDD our 'delusions' get angry when you call them that. They have feelings and ideas of their own. One fool thought they could ignore our AuDHD (Autism + ADD as fun as it sounds) because "I can't have that! I'm Obsidian. I am not you guys!" He learned quickly that wasn't the case.
So how do you keep a collective consciousness from being taken advantage of by modern cancel culture but also respect modern sensible rules?
What was it like to discover you have or might have DID?
For example. When diagnosed (or pre diagnosis) were you at all surprised? Were you sort of suspecting, but had a hard time believing it? What helped you finally come to terms with the diagnosis or possibility of having DID? Do you still have a hard time accepting your diagnosis? Why?
Not to be nosy. Asking for a friend. Thank you.
We'll call my friend Potato and their partner Lead. Lead is also my ex-best friend, whom I'm no-contact with. This is not up for debate, so please do not try to suggest I talk to Lead. I wish him the best and all, but I'm keeping him out of my life, I'm mostly just posting this out of concern for Potato. Now for some context:
Lead's condition showed up a bit over a year into their relationship, and according to him, stems from him talking to his OCs inside his head so much that they took on a life of their own until one day, while hanging out with Potato, they became able to "take over", basically. Lead and Potato had been together for a year at this point.
Their relationship was already pretty unhealthy and rocky before. Lead tends to cling to one person and try to fulfill all his emotional needs with them, to the detriment of the other person's mental health as the role of involuntary therapist/emotional support dispenser becomes too heavy. Lead pretty much wanted constant access to Potato because of how intensely attached he was and didn't take it very well if Potato wanted to spend a weekend alone/with friends or family or didn't want to be touched sometimes, and Potato will sometimes instinctively pull back just to get a bit of space, which makes Lead more clingy, and so on, just to name an example of how their relationship was difficult. There was, and most likely still is, a lot of walking on eggshells, high expectations and responsibilities placed on Potato, emotional dependency and manipulation, Lead prioritizing his own feelings over everyone else's and expecting Potato to do the same, lack of boundaries and accountability, things like that. I don't see their relationship in action anymore since we're done with school and I haven't seen him since then, but I don't think anything's changed significantly.
This whole condition basically just made it worse. For example, an alter we'll call Prick, who's a rude, entitled, emotionally manipulative asshole who causes problems and won't take accountability for it is out all the time. This was already an issue when we were still friends. Basically, Prick would cause problems, my friends and I would tell Lead about it later, and he'd just seem kind of exasperated and then refuse to engage with the issue any further. For example, he wouldn't read any of "their" chats with us to respect their privacy (although they had full access to his memories and all his chats by extension). And we didn't get to really be upset about it because, well, it wasn't REALLY him. So, no one would take accountability in the end.
From what I hear from Potato, this is still a continuous issue. Prick starts shit, won't do anything to fix it, and Potato doesn't get to be mad about it because their REAL boyfriend didn't do it.
Tbh I find it a bit strange because a lot of the behaviors that suck in Prick were things Lead was already doing by himself before, so it's not like that was ever exclusive to this edgy OC alter and Lead is all innocent.
Moving on, what I currently know about his condition is that Lead has been mostly dormant for like a year or something, it's mostly been Prick and a new one that's apparently based on an anime vampire (I think that's called an introject?), who recently told my friend, Acorn, that Lead felt so guilty that he "deleted himself"/he had grown into someone he didn't want to be, so his brain gave him a reset to his state from age 16/17 so he could start over. Idk if that's actually how it works but I digress.
But anyway, I'm really worried about Potato. They just seem so drained and defeated at this point. Everything revolves around Lead, and they don't see a way out. Of course it's amazing to be supportive of your partner and everything, but carrying their mental health on your back the way Potato has just isn't sustainable, and I'm afraid the pressure is tearing them apart on the inside. We managed to hang out together recently and Potato blew off some much needed steam, saying things like "I want out" (they say that quite often these days) and "I hate Prick but he's keeping my boyfriend alive, so..." and generally just seeming very unhappy with a situation they can't really talk to most people about, Lead included. I'd say communicate, compromise, yada yada yada, but I know from experience that that doesn't really work with Lead, at all. Or it'll work a little bit, only for him to somehow hold it against you later.
Potato really does care a lot about Lead, and I'm sure Lead cares about Potato too, but as far as I can tell, they're just not emotionally safe in that relationship. It's all just such a messy situation. Lead has basically been in near constant crisis for years at this point, and I know it must be really hard for him to deal with his mental health, and of course it's important to have support from loved ones, but I don't think it's right for Potato to just endure being treated like this and take on such a huge responsibility that they're in no way equipped to handle. It must be awful and complicated for them both and I have no idea how this could be handled in a way that ends with everyone being safe and happy.
Never brought my ex-best friends condition up on other subreddits before because I feared he'd be judged unfairly due to people focusing too much on whether or not he's faking rather than the situation at hand, so now I'm here hoping for some insight from people who might know more about this topic than me as to how this situation could be handled/what advice I could pass on to Potato.
Will probably delete this post later. I apologize if I was rude or ignorant at any point.
I see many other systems talk about how they communicate with their alters and such, but it seems I dont know how to really do it without being negative. I've tried it before. Negative.
I have one alter who is more "active" and reoccuring in fronting than others and he just does not like me it seems. I dont know how to explain it and I dont know what to do.
Salut à tous. J'ai besoin d'un avis extérieur sur une situation complexe impliquant mon système (trouble dissociatif de l'identité, DID) et ma compagne.
Je suis atteint de fibromyalgie et d'un trouble dissociatif. Mon système comprend plusieurs alters. L'un de ces alters est en couple depuis 8 mois avec une femme (nous sommes tous pansexuels et polyamoureux). Depuis janvier 2026, nous vivons chez elle. Avant cela, nous étions à la rue, puis hébergés par un ami qui a perdu son logement.
Le problème est le suivant : depuis notre emménagement, la relation a radicalement changé. Elle est devenue distante et froide avec l'alter qui est son compagnon. Elle ne semble pas comprendre que nous, les autres alters, sommes des individus avec des émotions propres, et elle refuse de se pencher sur le fonctionnement du DID, pourtant lié à nos traumatismes.
Elle vit avec sa fille de 17 ans qui traverse des problèmes de santé mentale. La fille a une relation conflictuelle avec nous et fait porter à sa mère la responsabilité de ses propres difficultés, ce qui est validé par ses thérapeutes, plongeant la compagne dans une culpabilité constante. Mon système absorbe ces tensions, et mon compagnon, qui est son partenaire, subit ses réflexions de plein fouet.
Elle a sacrifié sa vie sociale, professionnelle et personnelle depuis 4 ans pour sa fille. Au début de notre relation, elle avait commencé à reprendre goût à la vie, mais aujourd'hui, elle est en train de s'isoler à nouveau. Son état de santé (elle est également fibromyalgique) empire avec le stress.
Nous sommes dans une impasse : nous attendons un logement social d'urgence car la maison qu'elle loue est vendue pour le 1er septembre. Si nous obtenons un logement, nous craignions de devoir assister impuissants à sa descente aux enfers auprès de sa fille. Si nous partons, nous retournons à la rue.
Nous nous demandons : doit-on conseiller à l'alter concerné de rompre, au risque de tout perdre, ou faut-il continuer à se battre pour une relation qui nous fait souffrir dans sa forme actuelle ? Comment l'aider à comprendre que son comportement détruit ce qu'il reste de son équilibre et de notre couple ?
TL;DR :
En couple (M21, système DID) avec une femme (F48) chez qui nous vivons par nécessité, la relation se dégrade depuis notre emménagement. Elle est submergée par la gestion de sa fille de 17 ans et sa propre fibromyalgie, devenant distante et froide. Nous ne savons pas si nous devons rester et tenter de l'aider à reprendre sa vie en main, ou rompre pour nous protéger, au risque de retourner à la rue en septembre.
I, 38M, lost the biggest change of happiness in my life because I was given an ultimatum that I failed to follow through on.
How do you hold yourself to account even if you feel like someone else was in control when you did it? And how do you keep that side in check so it doesn’t control you?
im wondering if people with OSDD1b have emotional amnesia or fogginess between switching or if there is just 0 amnesia there.
In my most recent session, my therapist referred to a recent event as a “switch” (and also mentioned isolation of affect, which is separate, yet similar.) I’d had a pretty bad mental health moment, and then pretty much immediately after went right back to normal as if it hadn’t happened. The conversation went like this:
“[The clinical term for that would be called] isolation of affect. Or, a switch.”
“As in, a “switch” switch?”
“There are multiple different levels of switches.”
…and then he didn’t really elaborate any further.
Long before this, though, I’d brought up my concerns about osdd after he mentioned how what I’d done could be called a switch. He didn’t think it was applicable. So I really don’t know what to make of it. He’s using terminology that, from what I know of, is only used for dissociative disorders, and yet has already said he’s not worried about it being that.
I could clearly be conflating two separate things and assuming I have issues I don’t, but idk, it all makes me wonder if he’s not being outright with it on purpose for some clinical gain. Or that he doesn’t believe in the disorder. Regardless, I’m not concerned about therapy with him since his stated therapy goals for me seem to be exactly in line with therapy treatment for someone with osdd anyway. The plan is to “dip my toes in” and work on accessing those parts of myself in manageable pieces.
I do want to say that my goal in therapy is not to get a diagnosis. I’m just really confused about the language that he’s using, and I’m currently too anxious to try and clear it up with him any further.
So, essentially, I would really like to hear perspectives from diagnosed people. Have any of you heard of switching outside of dissociative disorders? Is that a thing?
Sono incuriosita da questo disturbo dell'alter ego, ma cercando online ho trovato solo finzione o fonti non proprio accurate. Vorrei saperne di più, ma dato che sono minorenne, non posso effettivamente studiare il DDI a 360°, così come altri disturbi.
So solo che c'è l'host (la persona "originale" che si è poi frammentata) e uno o più alter, che possono avere età, orientamento sessuale, ricordi e percezione del mondo totalmente diversi dall'host. Quando si fa lo switch, l'host può avere un'amnesia totale oppure può entrare in uno stato di co-coscienza (depersonalizzazione), in cui non ha il controllo del proprio corpo, in cui - raramente - può interagire con l'alter tramite i pensieri (prima di insultarmi dicendo che diffondo voci false, vi ricordo che sono qui per saperne di più). Questo è tutto quello che so. Ma la parte che non so è tutto il resto, la reazione delle varie persone nella mente di uno che ha il DDI che scoprono di non essere soli, mi manca quella base psicologica che prova una persona con un disturbo del genere (ovviamente voglio anche sapere se c'è qualcosa in più che non so).
A sto punto il metodo più accurato per "studiare" e approfondire questo tema per ora è chiedere a persone online la loro esperienza, oppure chiedendo a degli specialisti che hanno studiato per anni cosa hanno studiato in più che una quattordicenne ovviamente non sa.
(I forgot to include my question in the title. I apologise)
I'm on an alternative account purely because our system has a close-knit group of other system friends, and we've heard mixed results from them.
It's been a little less than two years since we've really come to terms with ourselves, but personally, we've had difficulties keeping track of our 'alters' or really setting boundaries between them.
I've seen a lot online more recently that people with 'problematic alters' are doing it intentionally or can control and remove the alters. I simply cannot.. if I could. I'd remove everything.
But I'm wondering from other systems' perspectives, what is the general consensus on this? Obviously, I know system accountability, and I agree wholeheartedly with that. But the idea of removing an alter or controlling them is impossible for me since we can rarely tell who is who at the time, and it's all a blur anyways. I don't know if I'm missing something. Thanks either way. Sorry if my wording is poor, I haven't slept 👍
Sorry if this a weird question, but I've been looking into DID for the better part of a year after hearing a lot of symptoms that match my own experiences, and have brought it up with my therapist—they're very open-minded and kind, but they don't feel comfortable "diagnosing" me with it since they aren't an expert in dissociative disorders (which is perfectly sensible), and what we've been talking about is how the symptoms of ADHD (memory problems, vibrant inner monologue, constant sometimes-discordant trains of thought) and autism (rich inner world/maladaptive daydreaming, alexithymia/inability to identify emotions) could potentially, in conjunction with things like CPTSD and anxiety, be creating a web of symptoms that's similar to the experience of having dissociated parts with their own "personalities".
As a brief example, I have had "imaginary friends" my whole life (initially "invented" when I was a child to get me through tough situations), and a pretty consistent internal monologue that sometimes includes perspectives I don't personally have, but I am also someone who draws/writes a lot and finds it easy to invent a character and get into their head. I've also felt like I was "possessed", usually when expressing a strong emotion/watching myself react weirdly or say things I normally wouldn't and then partially or fully forget afterward, but that could be a stress thing combined with emotional blindness. I do dissociate a lot and have done so for my entire life, but I know that this is also a pretty general symptom of anxiety/stress/trauma disorders, etc.
I felt it wasn't appropriate for the main DID subreddit since I haven't been "officially" diagnosed with anything, but I'm really curious—is it possible to tell between DID and auDHD? I know some systems have those disorders as well, and in those cases, does alexithymia make it difficult to tell between your own feelings and your alters', or at that point does it just not matter? (Not asking for a diagnosis or anything, just attempting to potentially make sense of my symptoms and sort between what's a byproduct of what I know I have and what might be something to bring up to a medical professional)
Quick update hi I am A (host) (female) and the other day I was switched out unexpectedly by B (protector) I can only remember so much of what he said he spoke to me while I was in the innerworld or headspace
(not sure what it’s called) and he was fronting. He said he was upset at me because it’s kinda selfish when I do things and make decisions that put the body at risk of harm or danger and doing things that harm the body (like not eating and not taking care of myself) (putting up with abusive men) he said this is my body too it is our body. I have a life too we have a life. And when you hurt yourself or get in a risky situation your hurting everyone else too (everyone else meaning the other altars) he helped put some things in order and he’s not upset at me no more (he doesn’t stay mad at me for long) I just felt really bad like why can’t I be the one to just disappear or be locked up🫣
but after that talk I’m really trying to do better because he’s right about that stuff😔
Now, I do not have DID, however my boyfriend does. We are both teens and we went through a lot while he was ending his last relationship and starting ours. Long story short, we’re in a small school so word travels fast. He doesn’t have a very good support system and was diagnosed young. He was too scared to do research. I, however, am very into psychology and DID has always intrigued me. I have tried to help him all off my prior knowledge. From what I’ve observed there’s a host and one other alter who seems to be a protector. I’m trying to do my best to help him even from a distance. He used to be on meds, I don’t know which ones but he is scared to bring it up due to how he was treated before. I just want to help the person I love. Any tips?
Hi, I do not have DID but I have a friend who does. Also, I have studied psych, though I do not have a degree in it, I did have a minor in undergrad and also did study it for a year at doctorate level before leaving the program. But at school, they rarely brought up DID, and I also understand everyone has totally different experiences, so I wanted more than just my friend's input on this. Also, with my own mental health issues and a possibility of narcolepsy, I have had weird experiences with dreams, especially right when I fall asleep. So it just made me curious. If they've done any studies on it, I'd love to see the data if you have a link. I didn't find anything, but maybe I missed something!
Thanks so much for your responses!
First of all, I'm diagnosed and graduated therapy. I'm asking here because I don't feel like the topic is appropriate for the main sub.
Second, I mean to ask people who approach dating with some significant separation between alters: some examples I'm referencing are people who only date a few alters within a system, or people whose individual alters have very specific relationships with their partner(s), or even multiple people with DID/OSDD who have complex individual relationships between alters.
Probably because not many people seek support for relationships that are going well, I only *personally* hear of this going badly. I can certainly explain why that approach doesn't work for me, but I would like to learn from people who thrive with that. This comes from genuine curiosity, and I apologize if this is judgemental.
For all you with DID out there, I'm interested as a friend on how to ease the burden. What are things I can do to help? Especially after a reminder of the trauma, or anything that causes rapid switching. What can I do to be supportive, helpful, or even lessen the severity of the symptoms. I don't know if it's at all possible, but if there's something to be done I should be doing it.
Hey y’all. So I‘ve heard of a number of people, IRL and online, talking about alters who know what certain things taste/feel like, how to do a certain skill, etc., but the body/host/core has never done/had any of it. (ex. knowing what pizza tastes like despite none of the alters/the body ever eating it while fronting n stuff)
To me, this is confusing, because alters are all a part of the same brain, so how could they know things that the brain doesn’t? I haven’t found much online, everything I’ve seen just talks about alters knowing stuff that the others don’t because they did it while fronting and there’s too many barriers. I’ve mostly assumed it’s a misconception but I figured I’d double check to be safe.