r/DiscussDID

Hi lovely people, I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I have this really strange problem where the concept of DID bothers me. Its mostly where I’ve noticed that a couple people I follow online have discussed having it and it makes me deeply uncomfortable to the point where I have to block them and stop seeing their content altogether, because if I do see it even while scrolling past it’ll remind me of DID and I’ll feel that horrible discomfort again. It’s a way where I feel like them as a person becomes “dangerous” if I learn they have DID specifically, like it triggers my flight or flight response. I’m just curious if this is a common “phobia” for people and is it possible for me to get over it?

(Also posted this in r/DID 8/17)

We have therapy twice a week with a therapist who is supportive and openminded and has some experience with DID. We're coming to terms with the dissociative disorder on top of an existing autism diagnosis (among others, but ASD and DID cover the majority of our issues). After coming to terms with the dissociative disorder, we had to go back and get the parts who express the fewest autistic traits to accept that we really do have both, and now we're realizing all the ways that complicates everything.

For starters, our system is weirdly organized and full of fragments and alters who exist for things like driving, socializing, organizing, etc. There may be a lot we still don't remember but a huge percentage of the alters and fragments weren't created from anything close to big-T trauma. I'm fairly certain that our first alters were created by a genius autistic kid who needed an army of well-behaved, outgoing children to fill in for them as the child of fundamentalist christian missionaries who couldn't tolerate their real kid. There are layers of the system we haven't explored but the more we consolidate in the system, the more pronounced our autistic traits get, so a huge part of survival for us was masking.

So, our system is confusing, blended and layered, and we're compulsive about a lot of things so we work a lot on our system outside therapy. We a really hard time trusting anybody - especially anyone in a caring role - and our system is always evolving and so are the alters. We're lucky to have a therapist who understands DID at all, and it would be really nice if we could slow down and trust her to help us instead of just updating her twice a week on who fused with who and whether that looks like it'll stick. I wonder if our need for independence and control is partially because of autism or if trusting therapists is just hard with trauma and DID or ... all of the above?

If you're autistic with DID, do you have trust/control issues, or issues communicating about your system, and have you figured anything out to help with that?

Hey y'all, I was wondering if anyone had insight on alters the host isn't aware of? We have one that doesn't get much time because she is a danger to the rest of us. Additional side question, if you have an alter of the opposite gender how do you help them feel more included? For reference our host is male with two female alters

I'm not very knowledgeable about how DID works and id like to know more, so I'm wondering if it's possible for someone to be able to force an alter to front on command almost immediately? apologies if this seems insensitive or rude in any way

What does anyone know about mute or nonverbal personalities/alters- I can only go by what my former therapist told me and the clinical research I've been able to find, but I'm curious about other people's experiences.
Does anyone here have a completely nonverbal alter? If so, have they ever eventually been able to speak?
I went through therapy for several months and worked on communication with my nonverbal alter. I was never able to get that part to speak, but I was able to start learning and using ASL as another way to communicate. My therapist seemed confident that verbal speech might eventually be possible, but after several months without progress, continually trying became extremely mentally strenuous and overwhelming for me. Eventually, that was one of the reasons I decided to stop those therapy sessions.
I'd really like to hear from others who have experienced something similar, whether your nonverbal alter eventually spoke or continued communicating in other ways.
• let me know (therapist or others) PLEASE -

i suspect i have alters, and in the past i thought i did too, the only problem being that they went away, but now those same alters are back. is that a thing that can happen? am i lying to myself? am i thinking about it too much and theres no way to tell?
i do have another question but i might make another post about that

*edit: all parts except the host?

Hey! We're in texas and its so fucking hard to find someone not only with experience in DID but whos actually willing to diagnose it. We've been diagnosis-edged multiple times where they'll go "I think you have this buttttt its too heavy and i don't wanna put it on paper..." and it really frustrates me.. so if theres any systems who were actually diagnosed in texas please give us some recs so we can see them and finally get confirmation

Hello, I have no diagnosis, only a therapist who said it could be possible, that I have a dissociative identity disorder of some kind. I am currently struggling with myself and my partner.

For context: I've been with my partner for over 4 years and we have an open, polyamorous relationship. I do have one "entity' inside my head which is constantly in contact with me. He knows about him.

My situation: I fucked up (again) while meeting new people and jumping into new relationships too fast. My partner is very sensitive to age gaps and I hooked up with a guy who is eleven years older than me despite knowing, my partner would be uncomfortable with it. The thing is, that I was feeling bad for weeks and was not communicating my needs (totally my fault), because he is not feeling well and I did not want to add to his burden. And this other guy was just...there. He cared for me, touched me and it just felt good and right at the moment. So I hooked up with him.

And I told my partner despite fearing his reaction. He was upset. Not because I slept with this guy. But because for him it felt like his feelings and opinions would not matter to me (which is not true, but I understand why he feels like it). And I do not remember the whole conversation we had, but one sentence stuck: "It feels like, I do not exist for you when you are with other men." And it totally hit the mark. I was not even aware of it until he said it. And...I should have denied it, but I told him the truth. I confessed to him, that in situations, where I know I am doing something, he would not like, it is like he does not exist. Like...totally gone. And after, I think about him, but do not feel any regret. That comes later, when the feelings of the situation subside a bit.

For this situation, I had a total breakdown during the discussion. I know, I tried not to dissociate by scratching. But everything after is basically gone, as well as the next day. And then...I just felt fine again. I have eaten normally since then, getting back up, treating myself kindly again. It feels like, I was neglecting myself and this crash just...reset me and now I am okay again. And it makes me feel horrible about it, because I hurt my partner and told him something, he cannot understand. I feel like an asshole and I usually do not try to explain that I legitimately have no recollection of certain events and blame it on bad memory. But right now, I just feel like a cheating asshole that forgets that a partner, I dearly love, even exists...

Hi all,

Well, that's my question basically. I have chronic cluster headaches with daily attacks, mostly at night.

And where I say 'I have' it should actually be 'we have' as I am, or rather we are, also diagnosed with DID, dissociative identity disorder.

I don't want to go into real detail here, mostly because I guess the combination of the two is probably very rare and therefore unknown or not interesting to most or maybe all of you.

But as I guess that our DID frustrates or at least impacts our cluster headaches different from 'normal' integrated, or whole, people, it would be really nice to share experiences with someone like us.

Thank you

One of me is a little. I’m her now. I don’t think the others like me. Em I bad? Do I burden my daddy?

I have a male and female, age 6.
They are both rather shy. When the male first presented himself he said the female is his twin sister because they came to be at almost the same moment.
They always front simultaneously and sometimes have conversations out loud together.

My therapist seems to be dismissing B’s feelings whenever I have a session with her and everytime I want to talk to her about B’s (male altar protector) body dysphoria or gender dysphoria she always starts to ask about other questions to change the subject and it seems like she keeps dismissing his feelings like their not important
I started low dose HRT and my therapist seemed kinda upset about it and I told her that I was very ok with being gender fluid and slowly transition I want to help make my altars happy and feel comfortable in this body doing that makes me happy as well. like she’s trying to tell me that I shouldn’t help B with this and that he needs to accept that the body is female and that i shouldn’t let him mutilate my body. But it’s not only my body and I feel like maybe I should find another therapist idk if anyone else has had an experience like this and why would she be telling me these things?