u/UngratefulChinaman

My girlfriend moved here from the PNW in like 2020-2021. We’ve been together 1.5 years.

When we first met she told me she loved the outdoors etc. I truly do. I hike, fish, snowboard, hunt so that was exciting to me. I could spend every weekend out there. I’m from here and that’s why I’ve stayed. She won’t admit it but she is a city girl to her core.

Recently she’s been expressing that she’s not happy here and wants to move back to the PNW within the next 5 years. She said she’s not happy here because she’s not doing the Colorado things she wanted to do when she first moved here.

I suggest a hike. “Too hard”. I suggest camping “okay please rent an RV otherwise I’m not interested”. Fishing “maybe but not for long”. She likes to snowboard but that’s it.

So now we’ve been navigating this for a couple of weeks and I just told her “hey I’d love to suggest a Colorado activity given our recent conversations”. You know trying to be receptive and keep us together.

Before I could even get the suggestion out of my mouth

“You know we have different Colorado interests”

I say okay, how do you define Colorado activities?

“Oh how about a play downtown or a Rockies game or the bars with our friends”

Literally shit you can do in any other major metropolitan area. It’s infuriating. Unfortunately for us, I have 0 interest in the bread and circus activities offered by any given downtown. I’d be happy to compromise and do them if we ever did any of my interests together.

Come here looking to take advantage of what Colorado has to offer, and your only interests revolve around a 155 square mile area on the plains… aka Denver (yes I had to look that fact up).

I wish this issue was obvious when we were first dating.

Edit: for anyone saying I’m a douche for my view on downtown events. I grew up 30 minutes from downtown, going to these events pretty regularly. I then went to college and my view on downtown events changed significantly. It’s not that I’m ignorant to them and won’t try it. I’ve lived that life. I don’t value it whatsoever and that doesn’t make me a douche. It means I know my own preferences because of lived experience.

Edit 2: apparently a lot of you are irked I’ve used the term “bread and circus”. Well, I’m not sorry. But, I do respect that you’re into these activities and in no way do I think I’m better than you because of that. They just aren’t for me, and that’s how I view them within my own life personally.

Please comment here if you need to be further shamed. Feel free to tea bag me if you kill me Of course

There’s also a chance I’ll just be acting like a jackass. Here goes.

TO 64 NA WEST

Edit: 42-19-14 first game

Edit 2: I’ve added another substance I won’t specify that is legal in my state but not many others. I am smiling from ear to ear playing this game right now. Thank you to all who play this game for real.

Edit 3: good morning all! I fear I had a peak Chivalry 2 experience from a psychological standpoint. My first game I was flowing with the battle and doing well. After that, I played like shit but had more fun than ever. I am honored to be a martyr for Friday highday.

Reporting is dead.

My dad is visiting me right now and wanted to watch the NBC nightly news.

“Molotov cocktail attack on a person in a wheelchair”
“Katie Courics mind is developing into a black hole”
“But don’t worry there’s good news, teens fly a paper airplane a record breaking distance.”

Multiple other examples. What once used to be the leader in news is now stooping so low as to try and gain engagement of younger generations through rage bait and tabloid headlines.

That’s not reporting, that’s trying to make money and remain relevant.

Edit: 50 min after posting. We are watching Cops on Fox Business *Prime*

For me, it wasn’t a milestone, an achievement or money.

For me it was the accumulation of loss of things I held dearly throughout my youth.

It was my parents selling my childhood home that they lived in for 30 years.

It was my childhood dog dying in my mid 20s.

It was my high school and college friends scattering around the country, losing touch and starting their own families.

It was turning 30 and the mental gravity that holds based on where and who you thought you’d be by 30.

It wasn’t buying my first house, buying a dream vehicle, starting a business, getting a salary above a certain threshold.

Those things were nice, and I’m grateful for them. But they didn’t make me feel like an adult.

What made me feel like an adult was realizing that time does not care how ready you are. People get older. Places change. Friend groups dissolve. Pets die. Parents slow down. The version of life you thought would always be there quietly disappears piece by piece. Sometimes quickly and painfully. Other times it’s slow and you know it’s coming eventually.

And the scary part is that nothing dramatic has to happen. One day you just look around and realize the world you grew up in is mostly gone, and nobody stopped to tell you it was ending.

So adulthood, to me, feels less like freedom and more like awareness. Awareness that life is finite. Awareness that the people you love will not always be there. Awareness that “success” does not protect you from grief, nostalgia, or regret.

And maybe part of becoming an adult is learning to keep building anyway. Not because everything is perfect or because you figured it all out, but because life keeps moving whether you’re ready or not.

Personally, I don’t commend unless it was earned and deserved. I’ll never commend when I’m getting Xv1’d there’s no honor in a gangbang besides the merciful embrace of death.

Auto-commend is as good as a participation trophy.

Edit: as a result of this post I’ve begun playing archer this evening. A surprisingly fair amount of commendations after 2 games.

During World War II, the Nazis eradicated nearly 6million Jewish people.

World War II ended in 1945. Jews across Europe had been displaced, and the world felt terrible for the Jewish people and felt they needed a home.

In 1947, the UN voted to split British controlled Palestine into a Jewish state, an Arab state, and an international Jerusalem. Jewish leaders accepted, but Arab leaders rejected it. Britain withdrew, and in 1948, David Ben-Gurion (First Prime Minister, basically the George Washington of Israel) declared the State of Israel. Neighboring Arab states invaded the next day, starting the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. Israel survived and expanded beyond the UN plan, while hundreds of thousands of Palestinians were displaced. This planted the seed for the modern conflicts we see today.

Fast forward to modern times, we still see conflict playing out in this region due to how Israel was established in 1947-48, and the United States has been dragged into the issue as Israel’s defense daddy.

None of this ever would have happened if Adolph Hitler did not undertake the holocaust and displace most of the Jews in the world.

Bought in 2021 @ 3.25% interest for $360K. My original payment was in the ballpark of $2,000/mo. Over time HOA fees and Taxes have increased so now my mortgage is about $2,325/month.

I could probably get $2,400/mo max by renting out my house and I’d manage it myself. But with taxes, I’d be losing money unless I depreciate the house annually.

What should I do here? I don’t want to lose this interest rate but it’s looking like I’ll need to move in the next 6 months. I could maybe get $390k for my house if I’m lucky.

I (30M) live in Colorado and am trying to get more intentional with my finances. I have a stable W-2 job making about $100,000/year, but I also do real estate brokerage on the side, for which the income is irregular.

My normal income is about $5,943/month. Current snapshot:
HYSA: $10,000
Roth IRA: $4,000, currently contributing $100/month and 20% of commissions
Pension: about $14,000 in employee contributions, not vested yet
Mortgage: 3.25% rate ($319,000 remaining)
Truck loan: about $7,600 balance at 3.59%
Student loans: about $5,700 total
Around $3,400 at 7.74%
Around $2,300 at 4.8%
Monthly truck payment: about $302 ($7,000 remaining)
Monthly student loan payment: $184
No credit card debt

I recently started earning commissions from my business somewhat regularly. My current rule is to set aside 30% for taxes and to put 20% of net commission into my Roth IRA. After that, I’m unsure what the best use is.

My goals are:
Build financial security and flexibility
Not get caught flat-footed if my W-2 job is eliminated
Grow long-term wealth
Eventually make my real estate business a true business
Avoid lifestyle creep from commission checks

My question is how you would prioritize extra commission money from here.

Should I:
Build the HYSA to a larger emergency fund first, maybe $20k–$25k?
Pay off the 7.74% student loan immediately?
Max the Roth IRA before doing anything else?
Pay off the truck even though the rate is low?
Hold more cash because my side income is irregular and my W-2 job has some risk?

What would you do in my position?

I’m 30M and I’ve been working with a therapist consistently for about 5 years.

Therapy has helped me with relationships, stress, self-awareness, emotional control, family dynamics, and generally becoming a more honest version of myself.

Since June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to open this up for anyone who’s curious, skeptical, nervous, or considering it.

Ask me anything about starting therapy, what sessions are actually like, finding the right therapist, what helped, what didn’t, stigma, cost, awkward first sessions, or what changed over time.