u/UngratefulChinaman

I used to not be comfortable with this and thought it was sad to see adults do, but I’ve found so much peace in doing things by myself.

Want to see a movie that nobody else wants to go see? I’ll go alone. Craving a nice dinner out but nobody else to go with? Sure I’ll do it.

I’ve found a lot of power in that, it’s almost freeing. And, it feels like instead of people seeing me as lonely, they see me as a confident person which is always nice!

For the record I am not a lonely person and have a good social life, but not everyone is available all the time! Just wondering your thoughts and experience on doing things alone!

My girlfriend made a friend maybe two months ago whose husband has his pilots license. They came up with the idea to fly from the front range of Denver to Steamboat Springs to go to a rodeo. This presumably involves flying over 14,000+ ft peaks.

She hasn’t met the husband, I haven’t met either of them. I know nothing about the guy, I dont know about IFR ratings or the type of plane he has or rents. All I know is he is a plane salesman and “has to fly early in the morning so the weather is nice.”

AITAH for not wanting to do this? My girlfriend is hell bent on it and is frustrated that I’m EVEN CONCERNED, let alone reluctant to go. It does sound like a cool experience but I don’t even know these people and I’m expected to trust them with my life?

My girlfriend made a friend maybe two months ago whose husband has his pilots license. It sounds like basic certifications and I dont know about IFR or the type of plane he has or rents. They came up with the idea to fly from the front range of Denver to Steamboat Springs to go to a rodeo. This involves flying over 14,000+ ft peaks.

She hasn’t met the husband, I haven’t met either of them.

In addition, this is a time in my life where I’m trying to save money. I have no interest in splitting fuel costs, Ubers, air bnbs and paying for meals pretending we are rich.

AITAH for not wanting to do this? My girlfriend is hell bent on it and is frustrated that I’m EVEN CONCERNED, let alone reluctant to go. It does sound like a cool experience but I don’t even know these people and I’m expected to trust them with my life?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not poor by any measure. At 30 I own a house, I’ve got a Roth IRA started, a pension through my day job, and probably around $80k in equity between my house and vehicles.

But for most of my 20s, I was financially insecure.

My early 20s were defined by financial illiteracy, even though I held a degree in economics lol. Credit card debt, bad habits, chasing short-term gratification, and constantly feeling like I was one unexpected expense away from being underwater. Then in my mid 20s I bought a house that was slightly outside my comfort zone financially. I don’t regret it because it was a good investment at a low interest rate, but at the time it kept me in “catch up mode” for years.

Every raise, every commission from my real estate sales on the side, every extra dollar just went toward digging out of old decisions instead of building a future for myself.

About two years ago, things finally started to shift. I landed a job that comfortably covered my bills, and I continued selling real estate on the side. For the first time in my adult life, extra income stopped going toward bad debt and started going toward me.

With this commission check, I’ll be able to fully fund my emergency savings account in one shot. I’m lucky that opportunity came as a lump sum, because trying to slowly stack that kind of savings while constantly putting out fires feels almost impossible when you’re already behind.

That feeling is hard to explain if you’ve never lived the opposite.

I can finally handle most normal emergencies without panic. A major car repair no longer means I’m immediately stressed about going into more debt. I can actually save money and watch it stay there instead of instantly disappearing to put out another fire.

To some people this probably sounds basic, but to me it feels like I finally broke a cycle.

I’m genuinely proud of myself for that.

Edit: torturous methods are preferred. Don’t be a coward and take the easy way out. Be courageous in the face of your consequences.

A bit about me:

- My first memory as a human being is watching 9/11 on TV, not kidding.
- I grew up with an N64, Gameboy, Nintendo DS, original Xbox, and Xbox 360. I even had a Wii in there at one point. I still love to game on my Series X.
- I grew up athletic and good at sports, but honestly lacked confidence for most of my life until my mid-20s.
- 2 college degrees.
- Bought my first house at 26.
- Paid cash for my dream truck shortly after (cool but maybe not so wise).
- Only recently reached the point where I can seriously invest and build wealth.
- I’ve dated a lot, had some brutal relationship experiences, and have been with my current girlfriend for 1.5 years.
- I’ve traveled all over the Rocky Mountain West for work, hunting, fishing, road trips, and real estate.
- I’ve been to over 30 states (only 2 foreign countries)
- I’ve watched social media, dating, politics, housing prices, and the economy completely reshape what adulthood looks like for people my age.

Ask me anything.

My sister has a 14-year-old daughter. Before becoming a mom, she was the type going downtown every weekend, partying with NFL players, chasing the lifestyle.

Now she’s in her 40s, still taking trips to Vegas, competing in bodybuilding shows, leasing brand new vehicles, all while drowning in debt and owing back taxes. She has no savings, no retirement, no Roth IRA, nothing set aside for my niece’s future. She works as a medical assistant in one of the top 5 most expensive states to live. Honestly, thank God her baby daddy played in the NFL or my niece would have zero financial stability at all.

Recently I found out she asked both my dad and her mom (we’re half siblings) for monthly financial help. My dad has MS and is the kindest guy alive. He and MY mom agreed on one condition: that she meet with a financial advisor our family knows.

Months later, she hasn’t done it. Instead, she showed up with a brand new leased vehicle and is heading back to Vegas and is competing in another bodybuilding competition.

What frustrates me most is that this doesn’t just affect her anymore. It affects my niece, and now it’s affecting my parents too. Meanwhile, I’m 30, own a home, have an emergency fund, own my vehicles outright, and haven’t asked my parents for money in years. So yeah, it’s hard not to resent watching someone make reckless decisions while expecting everyone else to absorb the consequences.

Do I say something to my sister about how her lack of financial acumen is unacceptable for a 40 year old, or do I stay out of it? Because I don’t think my dad has the heart to say it himself.