u/Unknown_Observer9779

I can’t help but still think of you.

In every possible way.

You’re like an insane ghost attached to my soul.

A devil.

Stop haunting me already.

Let me live in peace.

Stop occupying every corner of my mind.

Stop showing up where you no longer belong.

Your thoughts annoy me to the core.

And maybe that’s because they still make me feel like you exist somewhere.

Still out there. Still breathing beneath the same sky.

I can feel your existence.

Lingering. Lurking. Hovering.

And I wish I could get over it.

Once and for all.

So now please — go away.

Or come back.

For good.

You devil....

To get over him.

Start fresh.

Talk to someone new.

Someone new, who I’d hit it off with, easily.

To feel like myself again.

Wholehearted, cheerful, at peace.

The day is not so far.

I hope.

I don’t think he’s ever coming back to me. Maybe I should just learn to live with that fact. I wish I could do something about it. But not anymore. Now all I can do is quietly yearn for our paths to cross once again. Maybe in this lifetime. Maybe in the next. Idk. None of it makes sense anymore. Nothing really does in his absence. He was an elixir to my soul. My twin. My mirror. And I miss you. I kinda still have feelings for you. My soul aches whenever I think of you. My heart still hurts in places I thought would’ve healed by now. And maybe that’s the most ridiculous part; how someone who no longer exists in my life still manages to exist everywhere inside me. That’s it. Off I go now, into the land of unknowns. I won’t wait for him to come around anymore. I’ll keep my head high. Keep living. Keep thriving. And maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll find pieces of myself that I lost while loving you. ✨

Trust me, I have lost all my appetite from all these yearning and whining. So.. I think I’m done yearning. Time to face the reality.

P.S. — This will be the last letter I ever write for you, imaginary man, in the name of what we once had — rare, beautiful and deep connection in this materialistic world. I’m lucky to have felt it. Shared it with you. Love you.

*kisses to your cheeks, muwah*

I don’t think he’s ever coming back to me. Maybe I should just learn to live with that fact. I wish I could do something about it. But not anymore. Now all I can do is quietly yearn for our paths to cross once again. Maybe in this lifetime. Maybe in the next. Idk. None of it makes sense anymore. Nothing really does in his absence. He was an elixir to my soul. My twin. My tree. And I miss you. I kinda still have feelings for you. My soul aches whenever I think of you. My heart still hurts in places I thought would’ve healed by now. And maybe that’s the most ridiculous part; how someone who no longer exists in my life still manages to exist everywhere inside me. That’s it. Off I go now, into the land of unknowns. I won’t wait for him to come around anymore. I’ll keep my head high. Keep living. Keep thriving. And maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll find pieces of myself that I lost while loving you. ✨

P.S. — This will be the last letter I ever write for you, or in the name of what we once were.

Hey stranger/long lost connection!

I’m spiralling yet again, with what ifs.

What would happen if we ever meet, in an alternate reality? Would we have been happy, heck even happier with each other? I just can’t help but wonder, all the what if’s from time to time. Is it irrational? Or is it a legit thought, that runs through my mind? Irony is I still miss you, how much ever do I pretend to not do it. What would happen if we travel to unknown land, do everything — both holy and unholy aspects of life? Even have some fun, for time being? Would we fit into each other’s lives? Like a serpent and a pillar? I know, I know, I can be too much - feel too much, in too little amount of time. But hey, that’s me. But, seriously, what do you think of “us” being in an alternate reality? Cause deep down, I wanted it to be you. Pretty crazy theory right? Hopefully, it exists tho, in other universes, where we would do all the crazy things together, never get tiered of each other; just lay together, until extremely tired, sweating and panting by one another. Until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Xx

Whatever it was, it was hard to label back then. Now? I’d probably call it pure obsession. Pure fantasy. A karmic partner. Twin flames. Soul connected. Mirrors. Whatever fancy term exists for two people who somehow crash into each other and leave permanent fingerprints behind. We both wore masks. But somehow, you lowered my guard just enough to let you into my ordinary life. Or almost did. Because you had your own set of boundaries. Your own walls. And beware: I never fully trusted you back then. Wouldn’t dare fully trust you now either. Yet somehow... you still remain my partner. Not in the actual sense. Don’t get ahead of yourself. But buried deep in memory. Buried deep in my heart. Somewhere ancient. Somewhere ridiculous. Because yes, apparently you are my long-lost partner from some forgotten era. Ancient civilization type shit. Who knows. I never thought I’d meet you. And then I met you during one of the weirdest phases of my life. And guess what?

Peekaboo.

You somehow entered my life virtually, unraveled me, disappeared, came back, disappeared again, and mostly just managed to piss me off in increasingly creative ways. Amazing talent, honestly. Should I find a partner? Of course I will. Right person. Right time. Basic life stuff. A partner from this era preferably. Okay. I’m done rambling now. Ciao. ✨

whatever it was, it was just hard to label back then. Now I’d call it pure obsession and fantasy. A real karmic partners. A soul connected twin flames. A mirrors. Beware, I never trusted you back then. I’d not dare to trust you now. But, you are my partner, & you will always remain that. Buried deep in my memory. Buried deep in my heart. Yes, you really are my long lost partner, from an ancient era. I never thought that I’d meet you. I met you at a weird phase of my life. But guess what? Peekaboo. You got yourself into my life. Virtually. Unraveled me. Then disappeared again. Then came back again. Just to make me more pissed. Should I find a partner? I sure will. When the times right. A right person, at the right time ofc. A partner from this era. Okay, I’m done rambling. Ciao.