u/Unlucky-Evening6613

I feel like I’m way behind for a 26 year old and it just makes me so hopeless.

I just need to know if I’m being dramatic or over exaggerating.
So I live with my mom. Yes. I have ask her time and time again to knock before she just enters or barges into my room. I have a tendency to be startled very quickly. I get anxious and my heart starts beating fast and it takes awhile before it gets back to normal. I just lashed out at her for barging in again. I’m absolutely frustrated and in tears. I would really like to know if I’m being dramatic.

There is someone in this community that deserves to be banned. Its name is pancake mixer and it just sends dirty photos. It also keeps on creating new accounts with different names and it joins these types of communities it seems

Hi, what can I do about severe hunger pains? Can i substitute food for shakes with proteins and idk what. I eat till I’m full thn an hour later or so I get severely hungry (no appetite may I add) but just severe hunger and my body literally hurts till I have eaten. I just really don’t always feel like eating and chewing. I’ve worked hard to gain weight to a rather healthy weight but eating has just gotten to be so much effort and I’m so tired of my body demanding food even when I have given it food.

So ever since I was young like as young as 6 I’ve displayed health and mental health problems which inevitably lead to my downfall. My mother never really provided me with a lot of support back then and now she just says she shouldn’t and doesn’t have to because I am an adult. So a little more info is I do now have a plethora of mental illness, cptsd and bpd, Asperger’s and anxiety depression etc. can’t drive don’t have a job, struggle with basic tasks, I don’t know what to do? Is it my fault? I do blame her for this but I need to know if it’s her fault or mine I’m not sure. Now I also have health problems but I’m unable to do anything to help myself i always have to beg her to take me to therapy or doctors appointments and such. I feel so hopeless. I don’t know was it neglect back then (I just remember teeth rotting out of my mouth and struggling with basic hygiene as well as severe ocd symptoms and traits of Asperger’s coming into fruition) I never received support and it was overlooked. I am aware it can’t be neglect now because I’m an adult. I’m at a loss, I don’t know what to think or do. I still live with my mom because I can’t support myself. I have various health problems and mental ones still

If I ever lose my battle with mental health , I just want to put my story somewhere. I remember going to a psychologist when I was six and she said I was very emotionally immature for my age. In middle school I was called weird a lot and kind of an outcast. I had odd behaviors like squinting my eyes really hard or washing my hands compulsively or repeating the same phrases. Touching certain objects a number of times. Back then I thought if I did that the “uncomfortable” feeling will go away. My dad’s been ill for as long as I could remember so I never got to spend much time with him. He was severely depressed as well. In highschool I got a depressive episode that lasted for 4 months where I could not see the point of life. Never got excited anymore and i didn’t really care if I’d die, but i wasn’t suicidal. I also became anorexic at around 16 but the binge and restricting behaviors started at 11. When I was 17 I got SA’d for the first time, I fell apart and never managed to put myself back together. I’ve never even held a boys hand and all of the sudden I’m not even a virgin anymore. I was drunk but it was family so i thought I was safe. I went to therapy and got diagnosed with Ocd, adhd, anorexia and clinical depression. After I was SA’d I fell into substance abuse. At 19 it happened again. I was at a my “friends” had a few drinks and thn I was gone. I remember bits in pieces of it happening. I remember confronting them and thn being told I was making it all up and that it never happened. They questioned me so much as well as threatening me with defamation if I ever went to court. They bullied me as well and said how dare I try and ruin their names. At 20 it happened as well but this time some guy took a video of me being SA’d and sent it to his friends, I was furious. I remember telling the person who did it to stop but they didn’t. At 22 and 25 it happened again and it was always a friend who knew what happened prior and took advantage again. One even cried asking for a hug and telling me I came on to him. I told him i couldn’t remember a thing. He wouldn’t leave my house and this forced me to have a talk with him. At some point i thought i was going insane. Why does the same tragedy keep repeating itself? What am i doing wrong? These were all people I’ve trusted. Now, I have my partner but we are long distance. I don’t bother going out or seeing any friends and i refrained from having male friends. If it wasn’t them taking advantage of me in states where i couldn’t consent it was talking me into it. They always wanted one thing. I remember being slut shamed so much by those same guys. I never went to court because i didn’t want to put my mom through that stress. At 22 came the cptsd diagnosis, the bpd, the Asperger’s and even bipolar 2 as well as bulimia and dissociation. It was very overwhelming getting all those diagnoses’ and I’ve been on so many medications. It was the antidepressants with anti anxiety with stimulants with sleeping meds with antipsychotics and mood-stabilizers. I got asthma as well at 19 and I get so tired so fast. I can’t keep a job, i can’t take care of myself, i can’t drive and i can’t do anything. I don’t even think I’m a good person, or partner, friend, sister or daughter. I feel absolutely rotten. I’ve done so much to ease the pain whether it be cutting myself, substance abuse, disordered eating, various suicidal attempts. I just feel like an absolute broken person who isn’t much else thn a burden to those around me. I wish I could tell everyone I knew I never meant to be so difficult to be around with, I just genuinely wanted the pain to stop and that I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done and the suffering I caused to those around me, especially my mother, even if we argue or I hurt her so much i really genuinely just wish i could be someone that she could be proud of and not ashamed of. My dad and step dad have both passed but I’d like to apologize to them to as well. The past has really caught up to me i guess and I’m so tired of everything. I wish I had been kinder, made wiser decisions and took better care of myself and those around me.

Hiiii, drawing is something that kinda helps me cope and process my emotions, and I’d like to use it to give something back to this community so if anyone would like a drawing, feel free to leave an idea 🌸

Sometimes I see the news articles in my country about women who have been abused and raped and in some cases murdered, I tend to make the mistake of reading the comments and what I’m met with truly fucking horrifies me.

The men will be making jokes, blaming the victim, defending the people who have committed these hideous crimes. Yes, people can say these are just comments and the men are acting edgy. These are real men. With real friends and family. They really think this way? Seeing this level of cruelty makes me so angry and afraid.

Because when people can laugh at rape or minimize it, or turn it into a joke, it reminds me how many people don’t see women’s pain as something deserving of empathy. The audacity to mock women? I sometimes can’t believe my eyes.

Yes I do sometimes feel like I hate men. For this reason. I am petrified. The level of anger and pain I feel. I can just not read the comments but this is the reality.

They excuse it, justify it, mock it. They’ll search for loopholes, invent reasons why rapist shouldn’t be held accountable. Once on a post I read where a woman was threatened with a knife and gang raped by 9 men, there was a comment that stuck with me. “Why did they take her to the hospital she wasn’t even stabbed.”

Why? Why do they do this? Why are they mocking something they don’t understand?

Women’s trauma means less than a man’s comfort?
Sorry I needed to let out the is vent.
I’m terrified.

I was diagnosed at about 22. Back then I was still studying for my degree but since then I just given up. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do it. I have also tried having a job but I can’t keep it for longer than a month. Well, the longest was a month and the shortest was a day. I am unable to drive has well so I’m pretty limited in what I can do. It’s all very overwhelming, I’m so scared of making mistakes and being yelled at, actually I’m petrified of that. People have yelled at me at different jobs I’ve had and it led to me breaking down crying or just completely walking out. I just want to know if anyone else have struggled with this and if they have overcome it? Will I be able to without getting professional help? The constant daily migraines and fatigue makes things difficult as well. I just don’t have the energy.