u/Unlucky-Square-8793

Lately, because of Halloween and "spooky month," I've gotten into watching a Youtube channel called Sam and Colby where they go to abandoned or haunted places and do paranormal investigations. I like watching these because they give you the chills that a horror movie would without all the blood and gore.

I know it's fake and I don't believe in ghosts, it doesn't make sense that an average human would come back as a spirit to "haunt" something. Why would some random guy from the 1950s come back from the dead to close doors and make floorboards creak? It's illogical. However, I do believe in demons/demonic spirits and it worries me when I'm watching the videos that what they're coming in contact with isn't the creepy ghost woman who died there, but a demonic entity playing a part.

I always feel almost physically and mentally sick after watching these, but I don't know if it's because it's a scary channel or if it's a spiritual issue, and it makes it hard to sleep. I'm terrified.

Is it just me being paranoid and/or religious psychosis and should I stop watching these things?

I've been a Christian for a while, and 1 Corinthians has always been my favorite book. Recently I was reading chapter 11 where Paul talks about head coverings for women, since I've been thinking about participating. Reading further though, it began to make me upset.

Paul says "a man should not cover his head, because he is made like God and is God's glory. But woman is man's glory..." He continues on saying that man is from God, and woman is from man. I understand he's referring to Adam and Eve, but as a woman, I don't want to be a man's glory. I want to be made like God and be God's glory. Men are sinful and worldly, why would I want to be of them?

Here is an analogy to help explain my feelings/thought process of what it feels like: God is the father, and he has a son (men), and his son has a dog (women). The Father loves His son and the son's dog, but the son is more important to Him because it came from Him, the dog is just something the son got from the pound. You see what I mean? I'm not necessarily saying that God dislikes women in any way, but I've always felt like there's a disconnect between God and I, as if I'm a different species than men which makes me of less importance.

I know there are other places in the Bible that talk about women greatly, but it feels insulting to be pegged down to "You're of man, not of God because you were born with different chromosomes." That just isn't fair.

Sidenote: Should women wear veils or not? Paul says they should, and then at the end of the paragraph he says they don't need to, so I don't really know what to make of that.

I'm at the time in my life where I'm thinking about college, and I'm having problems deciding because I genuinely don't care about anything. I don't have a passion in any subject or cause, I have no hobbies, the only things I do that would be considered "hobbies" are just things I've been forced to do because they would look good on resumes. It's hard because I'll tell people options I've been looking at that are low cost and they tell me to go somewhere that fits my passion, not somewhere that doesn't cost a lot. Well, unfortunately, I have zero passion for anything. I feel like something is wrong with me because I don't really enjoy anything at all. Everything is either meh or awful. I'm in a constant headache and everything is a chore, even activities that are meant to be fun. I don't know how to handle this because I don't want to end up this way my whole life. It seems like everyone has some kind of forte that they love, but I have nothing. My favorite thing to do is nap (genuinely). I just wish there was someone who would come along and say "this is what your passion is, now go do it." But there isn't. Do I have to search or will it just come up on its own or is there something wrong with me?