Title: Neighbour seems to react to my partner being over – starting to affect my mental health
Hi everyone, not sure if this is the right place but I need some outside perspective.
I live in a mid-terrace housing association property on my own, and my neighbour is usually very quiet. The issue is, whenever my partner comes to stay (sometimes for a few weeks at a time), I feel like she suddenly becomes really loud — stomping around, especially early mornings or when we’re just going about normal life.
When I’m on my own, I barely hear anything from her. It feels like the change is really noticeable when there are two of us in the house, and it’s started to make me feel quite anxious and like I’m being watched or “reacted to” whenever we make normal living noise.
For context, the bedroom wall is a party wall, and the living room wall is also a party wall where the TV will be, so we are quite exposed on both main living areas. The only place the bed can realistically fit is against the shared bedroom wall. We’re not doing anything extreme — just talking, watching TV, cooking, having a normal couple’s routine, etc.
My partner also brings his dog when he stays. The dog is well-behaved, but obviously there’s some extra movement and general household noise that comes with having a pet in the house.
On one occasion, when we were coming back from walking the dog, I noticed my neighbour looking out of her window as we arrived back in. It made me feel quite self-conscious, especially given the ongoing tension I’ve been feeling around noise.
My partner will also be moving in permanently soon, and we’re planning for a baby in the future, so this is making me quite stressed about how things are going to be long-term.
Even intimacy is a problem cant have sex without my neighbour stomping around the house and slamming doors and we do it in the afternoons and still, seems to piss off the neighbour
For context she lives with her mum and dosenr seem to have much of a life for someone who’s similar in age to me (23) and i just feel like because they live in complete silence they expect the same back even though im just trying to live my life ?
I’ve started feeling like I can’t fully relax in my own home when he’s here, because I’m constantly anticipating a reaction from next door.
I guess I’m wondering:
Am I overthinking this?
Is this just normal terrace house living and thin walls?
Or should I actually be concerned about the situation?
Any advice or similar experiences would really help.