u/UpstairsTomato3231

I love this trend. I feel lighter for having written it down. 😄

https://preview.redd.it/qslqzt9pj81h1.jpg?width=2668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=988f526e23190759c6adf50b7cd4804c5c6aa2be

Hi, I'm looking for a sub where I can just vent, hopefully get some support, and not get deleted.

I want to vent about:

narcissistic abuse

betrayal trauma

PTSD

CPTSD

Getting fired

Loneliness

The problem always seems to be that no matter where I post, it get deleted because my venting encompasses too many things, isn't venting enough, or isn't a story. I don't know. It just doesn't seem to fit any one sub even though all the things I'm suffering are connected.

Basically, I think I would like a sub where I can spill out a bunch of things and have some people say, "Aw. I'm sorry that's happened."

Is there a sub that covers that? Thanks.

Hopefully this is nothing new to you all but it’s something I need to remind myself of. 

If I learn to recognize these things immediately and leave, I’m relatively sure I can stop this cycle of narcissists destroying my life. 

My new mantra is: the first time is the last time. 

I’m leaving and not looking back when someone I’m dating does any of these things:

• Calls me names.
• Makes jokes at my expense.
• Never compliments me. 
• Back-hand compliments me. 
• Outright insults me.
• Yells at me. 
• Doesn’t stand up for me. Doesn’t treat me as a priority.
• Condescends to me. 
• Only does the bare minimum. Makes no real effort.
• Expresses views I find intolerable. Politics or otherwise. 
• Triangulates.
• Lies.
• Tells me to “fuck off”—in or out of an argument. 
• Gaslights. Including ever using the phrases, 
  • “I was just kidding” when insulting me.
  • Can’t you take a joke?
  • Calm down.
  • You’re overreacting.
  • Insults me with a smile to make it a “joke”.

   

• Dismisses/scoffs at/insults my feelings, job, living situation, pets, friends, family, hobbies, artwork, effort, joy, absolutely anything I care about. 
• Has a female best friend that I “don’t need to worry about.”

But I’ve finally realized that I can contribute to landing in these awful relationships by my particular habits and I need to leave if I start doing any of these things:

• Fantasizing about a future with a person way too early. 
• Idealizing them and their feelings for me. 
• Not believing them when they tell me who they are. It may hurt but they mean it so believe them. 
• Say the L word too early. Or if it’s not really love. 
• Put up with any of the first list. 
• Make excuses for them.

I must do:

• Keep my eyes open and don’t let fear of being alone dismiss my gut.
• Most importantly, listen to my gut. The first time. I don’t have to explain myself. Not even a little bit. Period.