u/Useful-Stranger-5543

As a young black man exploring dating discussions and relationship media, it feels like every time a black man doesn’t commit, ghosts, or just exists outside the hyper-masc script, the conclusion is automatic: “these nig\*\*s gay” or “he on the DL” It’s become the ultimate insult/explanation. Where did this come from?
Though, there is real scientific proof to back this up recent studies have shown that black men have accounted for 48% of recent HIV diagnoses but black women have also accounted for about 50%, but regardless of science, I think throwing around DL is a lot more damaging than it is exposing a problem in the black community.
Yes, black men shouldn’t be cheating. Yes black women shouldn’t be cheating, but the black community makes it hard to have a space for those of a different sexuality to express themselves freely. The ones who do feel that way about their sexuality have no choice but to sneak.
But I’ve noticed ever since the early 2000s especially around the heavy R&B era, is when a lot of it sparked, especially with Oprah’s Big episode on “ living on the down low” kind of set this rhetoric that all black men must be somewhat on the down low… I guess my TLDR would be, the accusations of black men being LGBT in secrecy is demeaning and dehumanizing, the distrust amongst couples in the black community is an issue and throwing around slurs and derogatory terms is damaging for the black LGBT community and also the black community as a whole…

As a young black man exploring dating discussions and relationship media, it feels like every time a black man doesn’t commit, ghosts, or just exists outside the hyper-masc script, the conclusion is automatic: “these nig\*\*s gay” or “he on the DL” It’s become the ultimate insult/explanation. Where did this come from?
Though, there is real scientific proof to back this up recent studies have shown that black men have accounted for 48% of recent HIV diagnoses but black women have also accounted for about 50%, but regardless of science, I think throwing around DL is a lot more damaging than it is exposing a problem in the black community.
Yes, black men shouldn’t be cheating. Yes black women shouldn’t be cheating, but the black community makes it hard to have a space for those of a different sexuality to express themselves freely. The ones who do feel that way about their sexuality have no choice but to sneak.
But I’ve noticed ever since the early 2000s especially around the heavy R&B era, is when a lot of it sparked, especially with Oprah’s Big episode on “ living on the down low” kind of set this rhetoric that all black men must be somewhat on the down low… I guess my TLDR would be, the accusations of black men being LGBT in secrecy is demeaning and dehumanizing, the distrust amongst couples in the black community is an issue and throwing around slurs and derogatory terms is damaging for the black LGBT community and also the black community as a whole…

I feel like everyone in this universe is kinda off their rocker in their own way so it got me thinking who the most sane and normal one is, I’m between Kim and Stephen, Kim is a calmer and cooler Ramona (IMO) and sthephen is just an anxious band player, and everyone’s got a bit of anxiety, so who would yall pick?