u/User297224

Me ‘21M’ and my girlfriend ‘20F’ have known each other for about 5 years and we’ve been really good friends almost as long as we’ve known each other. We both worked together, which is how we met, and I had liked her for like 4 years and I finally asked her out and it went really well and now we’re dating. First off I’d like to say I’m so happy with her and she is the most wonderful person in the world. We have our issues and problems but I’d say we get along 99 percent of the time and we usually resolve any issues within a few hours. Shes quite literally the girl I had chased and dreamed about for 4 years and now I have her.
So now this is my issue. I often find myself wondering about other opportunities I could have had or could have if we weren’t together. I have a few friends who have admitted to liking me (before I had a girlfriend) and one that I suspected might like me and she’s totally somebody I would have dated had my current girlfriend not worked out. I have never had another romantic relationship or anything resembling one outside of this one, and if I’m being honest I didn’t think I’d ever have a shot with her. But I am happy and would like it to last long term, which is something we both mutually agree with. I just hate how often I find myself wondering about and even wanting these other people who I could have ended up with. It’s like I can’t help it, I don’t know how to stop it. I overthink and wonder if I just wanted her because she felt unattainable. I hate the thought of that. I don’t feel like that’s why, I do feel genuinely happy with her, but I worry. I also worry that that’s why I’m feeling this way about these other girls now. Just the excitement of them feeling unattainable. My current girlfriend has been my first sexual experience/relationship so I worry that I’m just wanting to have that with other people because I’m inexperienced or haven’t had it with anybody else and haven’t explored it at all. I don’t feel like I’m bored of sex with her so why do I feel this way? I feel so lucky to have the relationship that I have and I feel like such an awful person for having these feelings. My gf is usually who I talk to when I have things that are bothering me mentally but I’m worried to talk to her about this because I feel like she’ll internalize it and feel not good enough. I also am worried to talk to my friends about it because of how they might view me. I just don’t know.

Sorry for the long post, hopefully it makes some sense.