u/V3nTixx_

I relapsed after 2 months and after i did it, i just remembered that we were going on a vacation tomorrow.

My parents would most likely force me to bond with other kids which means that i have to swim with them, honestly, i wouldnt mind swimming with them. Its been a while since i went swimming on the beach but i feel like i ruined it because of my fresh scars. Im scared of them seeing it and im also scared of infections.

Im so stupid i hate myself, out of all the other times i couldve relapsed, it just had to be the day before going to the beach.

Should i just take the risk anyway and go swimming? Honestly, they probably wont even see my scars cuz i cut on my upper leg

And, even if i dont want to, id get my ass beat by my parents cuz we went all this way and i wouldnt even go swimming,,

Should i just slap on bandaids,,,,

i feel like throwing up. i really hate my life.

im a 17yo lesbian PIMO in a PIMI household, my parents have full control over my future. they often tell me "we will support you" but when i tell them that i dont want to be an RP, they act as if i committed an atrocious sin. the recent watchtower articles does not make this any better.

my father, after discussing the recent watchtower with other brothers and sisters (whom r also PIMI) suddenly announced that i will not apply for college after i finish high school next year. he said that i have to focus spiritually and become a regular pioneer with them.

i felt like killing myself. i wanted to be in college so i can escape this damn religion, and that opportunity will be taken from me? it fucking sucks. he said that i can take online courses but i really dont want that. taking online courses means that id have to stay in this house and get forced to preach or attend meetings. i really dont want it. other sisters and brothers are also encouraging me to give up college and be a regular pioneer. i had to fake a smile and act like thats my ultimate goal in life, when truly, id rather die than live like that.

other PIMI parents often say that they dont want their children to be too far from them, because theyre afraid that their children will become "worldly". thats stupid. they just dont want to lose control over their children's life. and unfortunately, my parents share the same sentiment.

i want to live on my own, i want to move to another country, i want to keep in touch with my true friends even if they are "worldly", i want to have a stable job that gets me out of the house. these are my true goals in life. i dont want online courses and online jobs, especially if im stuck living with my parents. i dont want to be controlled, i dont want to be monitored 24/7, i dont want to live like how i currently do in the next 5 years.

i keep thinking about running away, but im a minor, i dont have a job, i rely on my parents financially, and even if i successfully ran away, i still want to be in college. and college is real expensive.

my mental health is slowly deteriorating because of this. im losing hope of being free from this religion.

i dont have any good claymores rn, my kaveh is currently using favonious claymore BUT I WANT SMTH BETTER FOR HIM!!!! preferably a five star weapon. i heard that redhorn and varka's sig are good for him too, but im too impatient to wait for their reruns,,

okay so i finally got lauma!!!! and i have an unbuilt, lvl 40 nilou and a built, lvl 90 xingqiu. i plan to build nilou cuz i heard that she's good in kaveh teams.

BUT i genuinely have no idea what she does, how to use her in team rotations, or her best artifacts and weapons. help</3

also!! i plan to put lauma on deepwood, kaveh on unveiling and xingqiu on fopl (recommended to me by my previous post)

so what do i do with nilou..

my mom got so pissed when i was questioning them abt our beliefs, instead of answering me properly, she kept screaming at me, saying things like "we didnt raise you to be like this!", or "i can not believe youre asking that!". my dad was calmer but he ended up being the stricter one and told me that they were gna make me stop going to school as a senior high school student, and that i should focus on becoming more spiritual.

i cried when he said that because school was my only escape. i could be myself there, and i didnt have to pretend to be someone im not.

they were convinced that my "worldly friends" and the school was a bad influence on me, but they were my only source of comfort.

edit: thank u for the advice everyone! ill keep all of them in mind. however, i cant possibly contact school authorities because its currently summer, and classes will start in june. ill try my best to "change" and hopefully my parents changed their minds

ok so we already know that kaveh has a major role in 6.6 AQ with like,, 100+ smth voicelines. do u guys think hes going to rerun next patch?? he better be because its been MONTHS. i need his cons so bad

okay so my team rn does not make sense yet, but i plan to pull for lauma later cuz i want to use her for kaveh.

i want a decent team so i can use my kaveh EVERYWHERE

so my plan is: kaveh, columbina, lauma, xingqiu

i also have nilou but shes unbuilt

should i replace someone in my future team?? should i use nilou???

ANDDD i plan to use deepwood set on lauma, and my usual build for columbina which is SMS set, i forgot what artifacts i put on my xingqiu,, and my kaveh is on fopl set, EM build

help plz💔

(also, is mavuika's weapon good for kaveh? i just want to give him a 5 star weapon cuz i love him<3)