RAYE’s music may have saved my life
I’ve been thinking of posting this here for about 15-20 days now but always ended up untyping everything. Without going into details of my situation, I’m a guy in his late 20s who has struggled with depression and extremely nihilistic tendencies for most of his life. But everything peaked in the last one year. I went numb and ended up cutting off everyone from my life. For about a year I felt nothing and was fine (I clearly wasn’t) but I was definitely going to the darker end of things, making plans, making lists for a smoother transition for everyone etc (iykwim).
But then I randomly discovered RAYE through ‘Where’s my husband’ which led me to her album ‘THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE’. When I started listening to the album, it was just for the music and beats, it was catchy, it was fun. And then slowly I started noticing the lyrics.
The two songs that changed everything were ‘Click Clack Symphony’ and ‘Joy’. When I first came across these two, I went ‘ugh toxic positivity, eww’ but I kept listening because I loved the music. And eventually they melted the ice. Click Clack Symphony resonated with me at a spiritual level. I’m a guy who has had more closer female friendships in life, so I just saw myself in that MV. The song gave me reassurance and hope: ‘The cold never lasts, my darling, It just teaches the heart how to burn’. It made reconnect with my friends that I cut off and eventually made me seek professional help.
Then came Joy. I’m an atheist but I would consider this song a prayer. A self affirming prayer to myself. I cannot listen to these two without tears in my eyes: ‘There's a war in your mind, Your sorrows may endure, But the light comes with the morning, It's what you're made for, It can't hide, It's supernatural; I DECLARE there will be joy!’
I’m not magically healed, it’s an ongoing battle (and I think it’s forever gonna be the case), but RAYE’s music is one of the key things that started my journey. I don’t know what lies in future, I don’t know whether things will get better in future, but I’ll forever be grateful to RAYE’s music for this.
When RAYE said ‘I'm asking polite that if hope didn't find you, my friend, We advise you to listen again’, she was absolutely right. THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE did contain hope for me.