u/Vegetable-Bunny213

As someone who has struggled with my weight, and with food my whole life - I am very passionate about ensuring that my kid(s) don't face the same struggles, at least not to the degree that I have.

For context, I am heavily addicted to ultra-processed food and have been since I was a young kid. My earliest memories of feeling out of control around food started when I was probably like 6-7 and coming downstairs in the middle of the night to eat a whole tub of frosting in the dark while my family slept.

For many years I was in denial, thinking that I truly wasn't eating that much - not understanding why I couldn't lose weight. I truly did not realize how many calories these "binges" added to my daily intake.

Anywho, I am well aware now of my issues surrounding food. And I'm actively working every single day to try to break my addiction to these foods, and to make it so that food is not constantly on my mind the way it has been for as long as I can remember.

This is not what I need advice on. What I need advice about is kind of simple. How do I not mess my kid up?

He's 2 years old. We limit all the ultraprocessed foods. We cook at home 95% of the time. I make "snacks" from scratch. He's never had any dyes or candy.

But it's getting difficult because my husband and I are the only ones in my family, in his family, in our friend circles who give a hoot about this. I'm met with snide remarks and comments constantly, about how I'm depriving him. How this is going to backfire and he will become addicted to the foods as an adult when he eventually gets unlimited access to them. How he will resent me.

He had literally just turned two and my in laws were flabbergasted that I wouldn't allow him to have a package of peeps for Easter. (Aside from the sugar and dyes - I was concerned about a choking hazard? Hello?)

I truly believe I am doing the right thing for him. His pediatrician is very supportive of how we are raising him, and agree that with my history of food addiction he genetically could be predisposed to those behaviors, and also to weight issues so it's best to limit those foods and really focus on a whole food diet. I'm very glad to have his pediatrician's support because he's one of the only people in our lives who isn't telling me that I am going to mess my kid up by living this way.

So I guess the question truly is: how do I talk about food with him? What language do I use? How do I explain why we don't eat certain things without damaging the way he looks at / thinks about food? The way I see it is, a cookie isn't inherently bad - when made at home, but what's in the store isn't even a cookie anymore. Once he is older obviously we can go more in to depth about ingredients and why we eat the way we do. But how to do I address it now, without giving him a complex.

I don't really care if I'm the bad guy to other people, who haven't lived the life I have lived and haven't faced the struggles I have faced due to food addiction. But, I just want to do right by my kid. Appreciate any advice :)

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. Since I was 17 years old, and he was 19 years old. We have been married for almost 9 years.

I just want to say upfront, my husband has largely been on my side with everything pertaining his mother. In the beginning there were a couple of times that he struggled to stand up for me when it came to her, but most of it was due to extreme manipulation about him needing to be "the man of her house" since his father had died when he was a child. Since we've gotten married, he was been there for me in ways no one else has been. He has cut her off, and his twin sister off due to how horribly they've treated me throughout these years.

My husband and I found out we were pregnant around 3 years ago, and had been extremely low contact with his mom for some time before that. We didn't really plan for much to change when baby came, and planned to continue to be mostly low contact to protect our child from her. But we ended up going no contact when I was pregnant and we had visited her for about 30 minutes for the holidays and she told my husband they should just cut the baby out of me so he (husband) and her (MIL) could meet him already. My husband was horrified by this, and I obviously was as well so we agreed we needed to cut contact once again. She's a raging alcoholic, who smokes and drinks heavily and is very verbally abusive when drunk, and she's drunk pretty much all the time. However, when my son was nearing two years old, she moved in with the one sister in law I have that we actually do keep in contact with. She assured us that she was going to get her under control, and wouldn't allow her to be drunk in the house. In retrospect - I do not truly believe this to be possible without some sort of rehabilitation involved. And she has never been willing to do rehab, so therefore honestly has never been willing to get better.

Anyway, per my sister in laws reports she was doing well and not drinking nearly as heavily and was working toward cutting back even more. For whatever reason, maybe it's because I have always held guilt about my husband not being able to hold a relationship with her because of his relationship with me, I decided to bring our son to meet her. She was grateful, complimentary, fine. But since then we've done a downward spiral. She's drinking a ton again, and although we've already kept her at a distance based on yesterday's events we've decided to go no contact again.

We went to my SIL house to help her with a project outside. My MIL stumbled out of the house and came outside to smoke. She started asking me when I'll be giving her a granddaughter. I told her I wasn't ready to have another baby yet. She made a comment about feeling sorry for her son because he wasn't getting any. I quite literally never said we were not having sex but I was not going to clarify that with her. I shut down as I always do when it comes to her. So to fill the silence she began talking about how I probably "give him h***"*** instead. While my toddler stood right there in our midst. I was appalled and disgusted. For reference this is not the first time she's ever talked about our sex life. When I was 18 years old I had to get off of birth control because my explain broke in my arm. She called my husband's twin sister and was yelling about how now he can't "cm in my v*****" even though we had NEVER told her that he was doing that in the first place! I would never discuss something like that with her, or really anyone. She also called my mom and told her before the wedding I shouldn't be wearing white because "we all know they've been having sex!" MY MOM WAS MORTIFIED. She always says the thing that just shouldn't be said, ever.

So anyway, I was already fuming about that. And just utterly disgusted. I decided to take my toddler inside to get away from her for a bit. As we were about to walk by, she grabs my toddler by his arm and starts ripping him toward her. He was struggling to get away and she got ahold of his face and I kid you not, started slobbering her mouth all over his face like a dog. It literally looked like she was trying to make out with him. I snatched him up and ran inside with him. My husband was finishing up his project but when we left I told him what had occurred. He is fuming, and never wants our toddler or any of our other (future) children to see her ever again.

I'm just so mad at myself really. I don't know why I decided to give her another chance. My son is not attached to her in the slightest. He always tells everyone he has two grandmas, my mom and my grandma (his great grandma) but anytime he sees my mil he tries to get away from her. I think honestly he can sense there's something off. I just feel so horrible that I ever exposed him to her. But in some aspects, I feel grateful. Because there is no guilt, no question, no wondering. I know now that no contact is the only way I can protect my child from her. And I will protect him from anyone, at any cost.

I have so much more to say, and maybe I will in the upcoming weeks and months. I have so many stories, starting as the 17 year old girl who just wanted love from the family of the boy she loved so much. A love she would never find.

I've finally realized that we've truly made our own family. And that is enough.

Feel totally free to delete this if this isn't not the appropriate sub but I feel like I am going to get dragged HARD if I ask this in a weight loss sub, but has anyone successfully lost a significant amount of weight from eating whole foods, and not just swapping their current diet out with lower calorie but more highly processed options? The reason I ask is because I am obese, heavily addicted to ultra processed foods even though I KNOW that they are not good for me and are fueling all sorts of problems. I was able to lose 70 lbs years ago, but was still eating a lot of processed junk, for example I was convinced that Velveeta was healthier than real cheese because it had less calories. When push came to shove I could not maintain that lifestyle/weight loss and since then, I've learned so much about food and nutrition. I know exactly what I need to do, I just am having a hard time doing it because I am super emotionally tied to the processed foods. And when I turn to support through the weight loss communities I just see people who've lost weight by switching to diet sodas, and low fat ketchup and things like that rather than a focus on clean, whole, foods. I guess I am just looking for any success stories from those who have been able to lose weight, and keep it off with a "crunchy" lifestyle. Appreciate any and all advice!

Hi!!! I'm a 28 year old lady, married, a mama, a nurse. I'm looking to meet some likeminded people. My husband and I bought our dream house and land about a year ago and are now homesteading and raising chickens (hoping to get goats soon). We have pear trees, blueberry and blackberry bushes that we were lucky enough to inherit when we bought the property, and I started a garden for the very first time this year and my zucchini and cucumber plants are thriving. In addition to that, I'm really into sourdough bread and using fresh milled flour for baking. I'm "crunchy" but am more about progress than perfection. Just looking to see if I can make any friends who are likeminded or have similar interests! Hoping to hear from you :)

If I were to start composting today, what is everything you'd want me to know about it? For reference we live in the country, on 7 acres, we have chickens and hope to get goats in the future. Just wondering where to start but very interested in trying to find a way to make something out of things that otherwise end up in the garbage. Thanks in advance!

Why is it so hard to find likeminded people in your own area? All of my "mom friends" are either my sister or other friends that I've had for years before we ever became moms, and they are all raising their kids entirely differently than me - which is fine but we have completely different outlooks on parenting. These kids are having unlimited screen time, sugar, dyes, processed foods, etc. It is their right to raise their kids the way they want, and I'll still maintain our relationships of course, but I find myself yearning for the community of having people surround me who have similar goals / dreams / ambitions as me when it comes to parenting and lifestyle in general. Does anyone else feel like they have a lack of likeminded people around them? How do you manage your friendships where it seems like you have nothing in common anymore?