u/Vegetable-Poet6374

▲ 8 r/doulas

Grief and baby loss

Hi everyone. 🤍 I’m a newer postpartum doula, and I’m hoping to hear from those who have experienced the loss of a client baby.

A family I worked with recently lost their baby following a sudden illness, and it’s been something I’ve had a hard time processing. My heart is absolutely broken for them, and I’ve found myself carrying a lot of grief since learning the news.

I’ve also been replaying my visits in my mind and struggling with a lot of “what ifs.” I can’t help wondering if I missed signs that something wasn’t right. I know those thoughts may simply be part of grief, but they’ve been really difficult to sit with.

I’ve reached out to the family, and the agency I work with is sending a gift. As I’m trying to navigate this, my biggest question is: what did your role look like after the loss?

Did you continue to check in from time to time, or did you give the family space unless they reached out? Were there things you did that the family later appreciated, or things you wish you had done differently? I want to support them in whatever way is most respectful and helpful.

I’d also really appreciate hearing how you cared for yourself afterward. If you’ve experienced the loss of a client baby, how did you process the grief and the guilt that came with it? Is there anything you wish someone had told you?

Thank you for reading. I know this is such a heartbreaking topic, but I’d be so grateful to hear from anyone who has walked this path before. 🤍

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u/Vegetable-Poet6374 — 7 days ago
▲ 164 r/Nanny

Why are families getting more insane by the day? I swear it was not like this 10 years ago. The expectations, child behaviors, parents dictating the entire day and what we do, the switch up of times and schedules. It’s never ending. I haven’t been truly happy in a nanny job in a long time and I’ve been doing this for 12+ years. The nanny world is just changing so much (in a bad way). Anyone else having the same experiences?

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u/Vegetable-Poet6374 — 2 months ago