u/Vegetable_Lack8199

I just lost my first and only baby two months ago due to medical malpractice and prom.

I’m fine for a few hours at most and I can share encouragement and support to other moms and then I get extremely triggered and horrified this is my life.

I just got a “hug in a box” delivery from a distant family member and it triggered me so much I just started crying and screaming that I don’t want that. I WANT MY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!

I just threw it in the closet. I think I was also extremely upset at who sent it. Their daughter (my long distance cousin) is expecting a baby girl like I was in September and I just don’t need pity from people with perfect lives. I know I sound to bitter jealous and ugly, and it’s because I am. I’m very private and I was hoping my grandma and my mom would respect that but one of them told the whole family basically that I lost my daughter. I feel violated.

I didn’t want anyone to know because it’s not like I even talk to most of them. I’m just so hurt and devastated and I thought my privacy was respected and it’s not and now I’ll be seen as the sad cousin who lost her baby. Not that I care what they think but it wasn’t their business to share. My daughter is my daughter and she’s sacred to me.

I call my mom to complain and she says “I’m coming over tomorrow to take you to the doctors” I screamed at her to leave me alone and I hung up. I told her if she tries to take me to a doctor I’m calling the police on her. Mind you I never do that or talk to my mom that way. But she barely comes over or checks on me as much as I would as a mom to a daughter going through this and she has the audacity to try to force me to go to a doctors.

I’m sorry this is a lot. I don’t know anyone else I can talk to. I believe in Jesus and I know my daughter is in heaven but this doesn’t make it any easier. I’m angry at him too. I feel so alone.

At 25 weeks I had been asking chat gpt “why my butt felt soaked in the morning”. It would give me reassuring answers that everything was normal. It didn’t tell me it could me amniotic fluid or to call my obgyn or go to the hospital. I know how stupid this sounds, but I know for a fact if it hinted at any of those my baby would be alive because I would have been alerted.

I feel like a complete idiot, a horrible mother and completely negligent. All my self respect is gone. How could I have trusted AI with the life of my child???

At 26 weeks I went in with a fever and by that time I had Chorioamnionitis. This could have all been prevented or at least I wouldn’t feel this guilt if I had just gone in instead of looking things up on my phone.

I can’t let this guilt go. I’m almost 30 years old putting the life of my child at risk for what? I really felt like everything was okay. I really did. I had no other symptoms and I really assumed everything was okay.

When I told my mom that I had asked ChatGPT about my symptoms the look on her face was just horrified. I’ll never forget it.

The guilt I feel is debilitating. I can’t believe this is my life. I can’t believe I lost my daughter.

My baby girls cause of death was HIE & Cardiopulmonary Failure.

It hurt so much to see that because it was all ultimately preventable.

In my medical chart the doctor admits they were miss-monitoring her heart beat. They confused her perfect little heartbeat with mine and delayed the c section for hours.

I’m so heartbroken. I will never recover from this. I’m just completely devastated.

After they took her off the machines, they gave us to her and then quickly took her away. I was too traumatized and hysterical to know that I could have stayed the night with her. I didn’t know I could hold her all night but honestly I don’t know if I could have handled it. I regret giving her away so fast.

They asked if I wanted to bathe her and I said no because I was just so out of it and overwhelmed with emotions. I regret it so much.

It was my job as a mom to be there for her. How could I do that? Why didn’t I spend more time with her. She deserved that at least and I didn’t give it to her

I was 26 weeks pregnant and leaking water little by little. It was the middle of June and I would ask chat gpt if it was normal and it kept reassuring me that it was. I thought it was sweat because I live in Arizona.

Turns out it was amniotic fluid and I ended up getting an infection. My daughter was fine until the infection caused a fever in which I finally went to the hospital, ( what I should have done instead of ever using my phone for medical advice).

I know she was an infant, but I can’t help but take so much responsibility if not all the responsibility for her passing. The thought that kills me is if she was a little bit older, like five years old and she had symptoms of sickness and instead of taking her to the doctor, I would be googling them; that I would be just as responsible.

I can’t shake this feeling of guilt and stupidity. I just can’t forgive myself. She was a big and strong baby, she should be in the NICU growing, not in a funeral home.

I went into the hospital with 104 fever and they noted that I had a uterine infection in my chart.

They left my baby inside my infected uterus from 11:45 am to 4:30 pm when she was delivered.

My baby was 26 weeks, almost 3 pounds and completely viable and healthy.

If they would have delivered her once they stabilized me which was around 12:30 the latest, she would have been here. Instead, the nurse was so focused on giving me Covid and flu tests and making sure that I kept my mask on ( none of which I had) instead of getting an OB/GYN or a doctor to evaluate me and realize that they needed to deliver my baby. The nurse was also not paying any attention that she lost track of my baby’s heartbeat, and they were mistaking my heartbeat for hers.

By the time that they finally delivered her, her heart rate was already dropping significantly from being in my belly and fighting for so long and the next day she passed from a brain bleed caused by not having enough oxygen inside of me.

Now that hospital has also faced more issues of negligence and I just am so horrified that I went there in the first place.

I really feel if I would’ve gone anywhere else my daughter would still be alive, she was a strong and healthy girl, and I think she would’ve made it in the Nicu. I’m just so heartbroken.

Am I the only idiot that had no idea what PPROM was??

I got it almost in the third trimester at 25 weeks and lost my daughter at 26 weeks.

Instead of going to the hospital, I would Google if this little light leaking I had was normal and every time I got reassured and just blew it off.

Blowing it off and trusting Google, led to getting chorio and ultimately losing my daughter.

I just keep punching myself because if only I had gone to the hospital and told them I was leaking they could’ve done an Amnisure test and possibly saved my daughter,
But instead, I thought that I was peeing myself a little bit or I was sweating. I just can’t come to terms with my ignorance with the amount of resources we have today. I hate myself for it.

What did you guys do with your hospital gown?

I have it in the closet and it’s just connected with so many painful memories…. Memories of when I was blissfully unaware what was gonna happen to me or my daughter.

When I put on the hospital gown and everything was still right in the world, and my daughter was still alive.

Today I was looking for clothes to wear, and I open up a dresser and I see the scrubs they gave my husband and my breath was taken away.

These things that should be associated with the happiest day of our life just bring me back to so many dark moments, but it’s still evidence that she was here.

Did you keep yours or did you get rid of it?

I was so ready to be a girl mom. I was so excited to wear matching outfits with my baby girl, give her cute hairstyles, buy her all the dolls and cute toys, go shopping, get everything in pink, be her best friend, go through the teenage years and always be there for her, understand her, know her….

I feel like life robbed me of so much.

I wanted her so much.

I’m not trying to blame anyone, I just really feel like things were mishandled. I woke up June 20 with some cramping at 26 weeks. I googled it and it said it was normal so I went back to sleep. Around 11 am I woke up with a fever and chills, I went straight to the closest ER.

When I get to the ER, I had 104 fever and me and my daughter were both tacky-cardiac, they give me fluids and Tylenol and stabilized me, and afterwards had me sitting in the hospital bed for about three hours. Around 4 pm things took a turn and they couldn’t find my baby’s heart rate from mine and they couldn’t find her heartbeat. The doctor came in last minute and shoved his fist inside me to see if my cervix was open.

After this they end up finding her heart rate but it was going down fast and it was in the 70s, by the time they took me to an emergency C-section ( she was delivered 4:36pm), it was too late, she came out limp and then got a severe brain bleed.

The crazy thing is that later, I found out that the ER had noted that I had chorio and PPROM shortly after I got there and instead of delivering her sooner or transporting me to a hospital where I can deliver her they just kept me sitting there for hours while my daughter for her life inside of me. Instead they wasted time testing me for the flu and covid and just having me sit there while the nurse tended to other patients in the room.

It just makes no sense to me why they wouldn’t have delivered her after stabilizing me, which was within the hour of me being there, knowing that my baby was in a toxic environment at 26 weeks.

I’m just so angry that I went to this ER and I just don’t understand why they did things the way they did which ended up costing my daughter her life. Later I found out that this hospital didn’t even handle newborns under 33 weeks. I just don’t understand why they kept me there for so long. I just truly believed if they would’ve acted sooner my daughter would have had a way higher chance of survival.

I’ve been posting on here a lot because I’m just lost.

I know that none of us wanted this pain or feel we can handle it, but this pain is really too much.

I’m broken in every way. I hate that this is my reality. I can’t stop thinking about my beautiful, perfect baby girl.

She was supposed to be here. I was supposed to still be pregnant with her. She was all I ever wanted. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t I go to the hospital when I sensed I was leaking? Why did I google my symptoms instead of just getting checked out?

I just can’t move on.

She was my life and now I feel like my life is over.

Sorry in advance if this offends anyone. I’m not trying to be mean I just need to express myself.

I am not skinny by any means or the healthiest person. I was actually pretty unhealthy when I got pregnant with my daughter at 5’7 and 240 pounds.

After I lost my daughter at 26 weeks due to pprom and chorio, I started judging ever aspect of myself, “maybe if I was thinner and healthier this wouldn’t have happened, maybe if I had drank more water and not any Coca Cola or coffee she would still be here, and if I ever get pregnant again I need to lose all this weight first”

But then I see women who are extremely unhealthy, 300 pounds and up and they have healthy and beautiful babies. It just angers me how my body failed me so much and theirs was able to bring a perfect baby into this world.

I know we shouldn’t blame ourselves but it just so unfair and really seems so random if we get to keep our babies or not. It drives me crazy.

My baby girl Gianna passed 06/21/26.

For the past few days I’ve been doing okay but today I just can’t stop crying.

I just look at her pictures and I feel so robbed what I should have with me right now. I should be going to the Nicu to see my baby, instead, I’m going back and forth on the few pictures I have of her because I was too traumatized to take more.

She was so perfect and so ready to be here.

I also spent a month blaming myself just to realize that what happened could’ve been completely preventable and it just brings me so much rage. As someone who was always extremely happy go lucky, I never knew a person could be the sad and this angry as I am today. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize the woman staring back at me:
Before I would call myself a girl, now I see myself as a sad, cold and unfortunate woman.

My sweet baby girl, Gianna Genesis, was a healthy 26-week baby who was completely failed by the medical team trusted with our care. When I arrived at the ER with PPROM and a 103 fever, they diagnosed me right away and standard protocol required an immediate emergency delivery or urgent transfer for active intrauterine infection of chorio. The hospital I went to didn’t even handle babies less than 33 weeks but for some reason kept us there.

The hospital left us waiting from 11:30 am -4:30 pm. They gave me Tylenol while an active bacterial infection raged inside my uterus and starved Gianna of oxygen for over 3 hours. The staff was barely paying attention to us and at the end we found out that they were confusing her heart rate for mine, which means they weren’t monitoring her correctly. Once they finally paid attention and a doctor was called, they frantically ordered an emergency C-section. By this time it was too late , and their complete negligence took away Gianna's chance to live and caused the catastrophic brain and lung bleeding that ended her life.

I know there was no way for me to know that this would happen, but I have a really hard time, forgiving myself for going to the hospital. Since then they’ve had a series of horrible things happened there involving kids and I just hate that that’s the one hospital we chose to go to when there are so many other options, how was I supposed to know they were going to kill my baby?????? I’m just heartbroken.

I don’t know why this comment bothers me SO much.

That’s it, that’s the post.

I guess I’m just here to rant.

I lost my baby girl a month ago. I was 26 weeks pregnant with her and she was 2.2 pounds and absolute perfect perfection.

I found out I was pregnant at a really dark time in my life this year in January, and after I found out I was pregnant with her my life had so much purpose.

When we found out about her, we were in a really bad living situation, but me and her dad made every effort possible to be in a better position by the time she came. During those six months, we changed our life in every way possible for the better. Our once toxic relationship became healthy and happy and we both got blessed with really great new jobs and we were able to move into a beautiful, big new house for her in a new city. Literally everything was for her.

I ended up quitting the job after I lost her because I hated it and was only keeping it for her since I would get paid maternity leave. Her name was also my password for everything and it was too much mentally to go back. The house also feels empty and sad, and way too big for us without her and I hate it, and driving around our new town makes me depressed because she’s not with me. My husband is also out of town most of the time due to his job which I never minded since I never felt alone because of my baby but now being alone everyday and no baby is so depressing.

Her passing was so sudden and traumatic and literally the next day after I came home from the hospital I wanted to try again and I was obsessed with finding out when we could try again because I saw what a perfect beautiful baby we created and I needed a little piece of her back even if that meant it was in another baby, only to be heartbroken to find out I have a long wait ahead of me because I had an emergency C-section (which later became extremely infected)

Now that I am one month past losing her, I just grieve her so much because I don’t want another baby anymore, at least not anytime soon. What I want is HER, she is and was so special to me and to everyone in our family. She was so wanted and so celebrated, she saved me when I was in the darkest time of my life…. and my body couldn’t protect her. She was so big and strong and beautiful. I love her little button nose and her cute little chin, her big lips and her perfectly round little head full of hair. I got to keep her for one day before they took her off support. She fought so hard for her life.

My sweet baby Gigi, you are so missed and I will never get over this heartbreak of not having you.

Thank you for changing our lives for the better. You will always be the light of my life even though I feel I am walking through the darkest part of hell without you.

I love you!

- mommy

After my 20 week anatomy scan, I told the doctor that I was moving and going to move my care to the same clinic but at a different part of town.

They couldn’t see my daughter’s brain at the 20 week anatomy scan so they scheduled me a redo 24 week anatomy scan at an ultrasound clinic.

This is my first pregnancy and I thought of the 24 week anatomy scan was enough and I was never told that I had to do a 24 week OB/GYN appointment, instead I had scheduled a 28 week appointment at my new clinic.

I just feel so robbed because after my 24 week anatomy scan is when everything went downhill and I developed a really bad infection and was having PPROM symptom’s which I thought were just regular pregnancy symptoms but it turns out I had a UTI that caused me to have PPROM which honestly if I had known that I needed to do a 24 week OB/GYN appointment could have been caught and I could have saved my daughter‘s life since she passed at 26 weeks one day from me developing a fever and infection and at that point it was too late to save her.

I’m just so angry at myself because a quick simple Google search would’ve told me that I had to go to a 24 week OB/GYN appointment and I could have scheduled that and possibly saved her life. Also, when I went to the 24 week ultrasound at the ultrasound place, I had an appointment scheduled with a doctor right after that, but the doctor told the ultrasound tech that my scan looked great and he didn’t need to speak to me.. which took I took it as a positive because I thought “ great, she passed with flying colors. They don’t need to speak to me” and looking back in hindsight just speaking to the doctor might have changed the trajectory of saving my daughter’s life if I would have explained to them that I was leaking a little bit maybe they would have caught a red flag which I thought was normal pregnancy symptoms and I had no idea what PPROM was at the time.

I think one of the hardest parts of losing my healthy baby girl at 26 weeks 1 day is seeing the success stories about babies making it that early.

I’m not bitter or upset of course but it adds so much extra weight to the “why me, why my baby” thought that’s been replaying in my head.

I lost my baby due to having pprom which led to chorio quickly. I had no idea I had pprom and thought it was normal discharge and pee until I was admitted to the er due to a 105 fever which by that point was too late. She was delivered by c section but since she needed to be resuscitated she ended up having a severe brain bleed and she didn’t make it. We were so close and almost in the third trimester, and my baby was absolutely gorgeous and so ready to be here. It hurts so much.

I know everyone says not to blame yourself, so I’m having a really really hard time with that because I feel like I was just negligent.

This is my first pregnancy. I was able to make it up to 26 weeks with my baby girl.

I lost her on June 21, and around the beginning of May, I had been googling my symptoms and asking ChatGPT if certain things were normal and I kept getting reassured that it was normal.

Before I was ever pregnant, I already struggled with peeing myself if I laughed too much I sneezed, so during pregnancy if I would throw up or cough, and I would have some leakage I just assumed that it was pee always.

Looking back, I think I had plenty of time to realize that my water broke, and I just never concluded to that for some reason.

Everything was going so perfect in my pregnancy I really never assumed that anything bad was going to happen.

On 18 June, I had a coin size discharge, which now looking back was my mucous plug. I also googled it and it said that it was fine.

I’m June 20 I woke up had 105 fever was shaking profusely and I felt like I was gonna pass out so we went to the ER. They were able to get me stabilized and gave me two bags of IV water and they were talking about discharging me because everything looked fine and Baby was stable.

Fast-forward literally like 30 minutes later, they noticed that her heartbeat starts to match my heartbeat and then after they gave me the magnesium and the steroids for her lungs, her heartbeat started immediately dropping to 70s. They then told me that they had to go and do the emergency C-section.

After the C-section, a nurse comes up to me and tells me that it’s not looking good that they had to resuscitate her for 15 min and that she has brain bleeding. After her fighting for her life one day in the ER with stage four brain bleeding on one side and stage three on the other side, she ends up getting blood in her lungs and devastatingly doesn’t make it.

I don’t understand why I didn’t just go to the ER or the hospital in May or sooner. I really can’t wrap my mind around that and I’m literally so angry at myself that that I’m here and she’s not.

I was working so hard and trying to get everything situated for her that I completely neglected her and I will never forgive myself

I know I’m crazy to think about another baby, but I can’t help but look towards the future when my present is so disturbingly sad.

I lost my baby girl Gianna, 10 days ago. She was 26 weeks and an absolute beautiful little baby girl.

She didn’t look like a premature baby. She was just tiny and perfect. In every way she had a beautiful olive skin tone like my husband, and really favored his button nose and my round cheeks, she was just perfect.

I had her name picked up for the last seven years and I absolutely loved the name Gianna Genesis that I gave to her.

I’m trying to think of the future and what I can name her baby sister one day, and even though I will never and could never replace Gianna, I’m considering the name Gia Josie for my next daughter. Gia because it’s close to Gianna, but not exactly the same to me, and Josie because that’s my husband‘s grandma who is a wonderful woman that I love very much.

Do you think they are too overly similar? I don’t wanna disrespect my daughter in anyway, but I just love that name and I honestly don’t like any other names like how I love Gia and Gianna.

Hello everyone. It’s with a very heavy heart I share on this page, but I need support.

Im 29 and just lost my 26 week 2 day old baby at the NICU. She passed away on Father’s Day (06/21/26)

I’m so hurt and defeated. She was to be born 09/25.

Everyday I would look forward to seeing her. I celebrated everyday she was with me.

She was my second baby after a 8 week old loss and I felt like every week was a huge accomplishment.

I had an infection in my uterus I didn’t know about. I would leak fluid at night in my butt area but me living in Arizona I thought it was just night sweat. Turns out it was my water breaking for a few weeks and I had no idea. I feel horrible and devastated for not going to go get checked out. I’ve been in shambles thinking how this is my fault. Why didn’t I just go get checked. I don’t know how to process this or get over this or forgive myself.

Im still at the hospital right now and feel comfort that she is with me here but that will end shortly. I got to hold her during her last moments of life where she stared at me with the strength she had to open one of her little eyes. I told her how proud I was of her, how much I loved her and i thanked her for letting me be her mommy. She was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I don’t know how to move on. I feel so devastated for my husband also and I just am filled with so many emotions but mostly anger at myself and for God taking away my sweet baby Gianna.