Word count: 3045

 

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

[Part 3]

[Part 4]

[Part 5] Here!

 

My Masterlist!

 

You thought over 2500 words with part four was a lot? HA! GET 3K WORDED. No seriously, this is the second to last chapter, and I found no way of making it shorter. I have to say, it's being an experience writing a series with such lore. Seeing everybody's fills and the comments of actual regular people on them is always a blast.

Yeah, this is it. Hope you enjoy this second to last episode. One last thing. Episode 6, while being the final one, will have three different endings. You can fill whichever you want, or fill the three of them, but ending C will be the canon one. I won't tell you which one it is though! Not until it's out at least. Alrighty, enjoy!

 

RULES FOR POSTING: If you fill this script, I must be notified of it and credited in some way. If this script is paywalled, you should contact me and give me a way for me to watch the final result without the paywall, be it by giving me a subscription to your service or the final result through other methods privately.

If the script contains a {bracket like these}, it is a gendered piece of dialogue. Make sure to select the option that matches the speaker’s gender, always. Even if the character that's being talked about isn't the speaker.

 

Summary for the Listener: You know it’s creeping closer. The day you and your best friend have to face off against each other. You, the Crimson Crescent, and they, a vampire hunter. You are aware that your clash is inevitable, but… let’s pretend everything is alright. Just for today/ tonight, just for a couple hours. Enjoy some time together, just like the old times.

 

ASMRchives link

Google Docs Link

Scriptbin Link

 

Script Starts Here!

 

---

 

[Listener opens the door]

Alright… there you go.

Just a bit of oxygenated water…

Great, another scar for the collection. At this point, my back has got to be more scar than…

(Realizing listener is there)…Skin.

…

Hey. You're up early today.

…

One P.M is still early for a creature of the night, you know?

Actually, twelve thirty-five, but who bothers counting?

…

I'm just patching some wounds. Some of us can't regenerate full limbs. If we lose a finger, it's gone forever.

I've actually got someone at work with like, three fingers left. It's a bit gruesome, but he manages.

This scrape is nothing compared to that.

…

I can deal with this on my own. Besides, I was already done anyway.

[Listener tries to walk forward]

(Surprised, warning) Wait, don't! Just… wait a second, alright? The blinds are open. Let me just…

[Closes the blinds]

Jeez, you're impatient for your age.

Can you go get the other one for me?

Wait, no- Forget I said that. I…

[Slightly awkward laugh]

I… thought you were human for a second. I don't even know why. It just… it feels so natural to think about you that way...

[They walk over and close the other blinds]

Well then, I can't see shit now. Should have thought it over.

…

No, no, I'm fine. Keep the lights out. I can make my way around like this.

I can't believe you guys see anything at all like this.

Can you even see colors?

…

No yeah, I know you can, it's just… I can barely spot my own hand. And meanwhile, you can see in the dark, smell my blood, hear my heartbeat…

…You vampires have it so easy. If not for the… legal issues, at least.

[…And the feeding on humans part]

…And the feeding on humans part too, yeah.

Have you ever- Hold on, can you guide me to the couch? It's kinda dark in here.

[Listener offers to turn the lights on]

Don't. The lights stay off in this household.

We've gone through this already. Bright lights hurt you. And I'm not hurting my guest.

Hold my arm, will you? I can't see a thing.

[Speaker sits down on couch]

There.

…Huh. That's… odd. My arm doesn't hurt anymore. When did that happen?

…

Yeah, I know *why* it happens, but… it's supposed to take longer. Two weeks is… surprisingly short. The fastest we've seen is a month for a broken arm.

(Sigh) You truly are one of a kind, Crimson Crescent.

…Do you… still use your old name? Or is it just Crimson Crescent?

…

Crimsy? Your friends call you Crimsy? (Speaker starts to laugh a bit) Sure! Why not? Hello "Crimsy", wanna hang out together?

(Jokingly) Oof, that's one hell of a low blow. Twilight's just my codename, and it's got nothing to do with the movies. If you wanna call me something, 'The Crimson Hunter' 's what I go by.

…

…Oh shut up already. Twilight's a codename. I justtold you.

…

Ah ah ah. I got my hand on the light switch. Do you wanna be struck with the might of a thousand suns?

["One sun's already too much for me"]

One sun's already too muc-(Rolling their eyes)Ooookay, you got me there. Good ol' self deprecating humor

...

I wish I were like you.

[A vampire?]

What? No! Not a vampire. Like... you. You've gone through so much shit. Seriously, I can't even imagine.

What those... vampires did to you. Living for twenty whole years as a one of them, knowing damn well if you got caught you'd be sentenced to death, or torture or... I don't know. And yet, you fought.

You could have easily lived with the Bloodmoon Coven. Hidden as one of us. And yet, you fought. You became such a huge threat to us we believed you were a group of over twenty vampires.

Turns out, it's just one single set of fangs.

You are the single most stubborn person I've seen in my life. Too stubborn to die. Too stubborn to feed on unwilling prey.

I still stand by it. You should have fed on them.

...My point is. I envy you. Twenty whole years chasing a dream, and in just half a year, you come to my life and completely shatter it.

Just how weak can my mind be?

…

I'm fine. I'm just trying to think about everything.

()Bah, whatever. I might just need to get some fresh air.

Cover your eyes, I'm turning the lights on.

[Light switch is pressed]

(A bit threatening) There you are. So this is the face of the crimson crescent's leader, huh?

(Normal) Don't mind me, I'm just- It's stupid, but I've been practicing.

For a whole decade, I've been rehearsing in the mirror. For when I finally caught you. I wanted to be the one to kill you. I wanted it to be perfect, but alas…

Forget about it. I don't even know what I'm saying… (Stretching grunts) I might need to… go on a walk, or something.

[Speaker gets up, and starts walking out. Then stops]

This… might be the dumbest thing I've ever asked but… do you wanna come with me?

Yes. Outside… At noon.

…

It's stupid, alright? (Slightly teasing) But when did something being stupid ever stop us?

…

That's the spirit. I've got an umbrella right there. You'll look like a weirdo, but at least you won't burn to a crisp.

[Opening the door, and going out. Listener opens their umbrella]

…

[Speaker tries to contain their laughter]

No offense but… you look absolutely ridiculous.

[Speaker closes the door behind listener]

(Jokingly demanding) Absolutely not. You're not going back in. You need to touch some grass, Mary Poppins.

Besides, those pajamas really give you that "I haven't seen the light of day since last year" look.

(Now a bit more serious) Which… I guess in your case is true…

(Snapping out of it) Doesn't matter, let's just walk. It's not like there's much more to do here without taking a car.

 

[They begin walking (You can keep the footsteps as background noise)]

 

…

So… This might come a bit out of nowhere but… what does blood exactly taste like? I've always been curious. Is it really that good?

…

I don't know, find the words.

Lemme do it. When I try… say, pizza, it's a mixture of flavors. When you take a bite, you feel the dough against the tip of your tongue. It's not a strong flavor, but it doesn't need to be. It's just enough to brace you for the soft, sweet cheese that melts in your mouth.

…

Yeah, sweet. I mean, not excessively sweet, but I'd say a little bit. It's mostly savory. I mean, the whole combination of well… everything.

…

Savory, like tomatoes. You remember tomatoes, right? (single chuckle) Do you still absolutely abhor them like in middle school?

…

(Shocked) Huh… you… what?

You have to remember, right? It's… it's fucking tomatoes. You can't…

…

(In realization) So that's what being a vampire is like, huh?

I don't know. I expected you to… I don't know, remember… basic flavors or… something.

…

I get it. I don't know why I keep trying to convince myself you're human.

…

I don't mean it like an insult. It's a fact. We're different species… if I asked you what my heartbeat sounds like, or what blood smells like, you'd also find it hard to tell me.

It's just… I still don't believe it, alright? You look the exact same. Just how I remember you. And I don't know why my mind wants to fight this fact so badly.

I know it's me, but every time I look at you, I want to find evidence you're not a vampire. I want to convince myself you wouldn't become one of them.

…

Open your mouth. Please.

…

It's weird to ask, I know. I just need to see your fangs. Humor me for a second, will ya?

…

(Disappointed sigh) Yeah, there they are. The same fangs you've been using on me for the last few weeks.

Do you mind if I…?

[Speaker cuts themselves on one of listener's fangs]

God… dammit. Why are vampire fangs so sharp? They are made to pierce, not cut.

…

(Awkward) Yeah… I… tried to take it off. Maybe it was a prop or one of those tasteless fake fangs for cosplayers.

…

No… no they're not.

You're… not human.

[Short pause]

I still don't understand.

No, not you being a vampire. I mean… There's something I still can't figure out.

No offense, but… you should be dead.

…

I mean like, actually dead. Not… reanimated. That's the thing. I… don't get why, or how, you got turned.

["Do you want me to explain?"]

Look… I know how turning someone works. Probably better than you. You don't have to explain how it works

Not to brag, but I've had to take tests specifically about this. 'How much vampire blood is necessary to trigger a transformation?' I remember that question. Drain half of a human's blood, then feed them till they got as much if not more vampire blood in their veins.

That's for the weaker ones. The stronger a vampire is… the more powerful their blood becomes.

(Slowly getting angry) But you… You weren't turned. They didn't gang up on you to be turned. They didn't even seem to want to drink from you. They toyed with you… They made you suffer for their amusement. And when you couldn't even scream from pain anymore…

…They drained you dry like a fucking juicebox. Is that what we are to them? Just toys to be thrown away when they break us?

…I just… I don't understand. You don't just 'accidentally' turn someone into a vampire. It's just… not possible.

I've seen vampires trying to turn their loved ones. They lose control of themselves, and when they finally come back to their senses… When they realize what they've done, they… (Angrily) They refuse to take accountability. They choose to be selfish. And on top of it, they give us one more bloodsucker to take care of.

…[Listener explains what happend]

Huh… That… that easy? They just… drained you completely and… No. No that makes no sense. You can't turn someone who's dead dead. Their heart needs to still be beating.

…

(Getting angry) Is that so? They all gave you their blood, just so you could suffer for longer? So you became, what? A vampiric chimera?

…

(Sarcastic) Oh! I'm sorry! Your master gave you part of {her/his} blood too. Is that supposed to make it better? I… I had to watch them… I thought you were dead!

Dead!

…

Yeah,(Breathing in and out) yeah you're right. I'm getting agitated, but… (A little bit calmer) but how can I not be? Look at yourself! Look at what they've done to you!

…

[Laughing a little bit, caught by surprise] Okay, okay, you got me. You can't look at yourself, I'll give you that. God, you know just the worst moments to crack a joke. You haven't changed a bit.

(Melancholic) And… you never will…

…Have you stopped to think about it? You should be having… I don't know, some wrinkles or something by now. And yet, you look the exact same. By the time I'm old… and hopefully retired, you'll still look… like you.

If I even get to grow old.

Most of us hunters don't get that privilege.

[Listener apologizes]

Don't apologize. It's how it's supposed to go. The system's working exactly as intended. The predator hunts for food, and the prey has to defend itself, even if it means bringing them to extinction.

…

…(Sigh) I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just… trying to make small talk, I guess. Everything is going to shit lately, and it's only gonna get worse. Next week, my team will barge through every confirmed vampire hideout in the city. All at once. Including your beloved coffee shop.

I'm warning you. Don't let any vampires come next tuesday. It will not be pretty.

… [Listener agrees not to let any vampires go there]

So, you're finally listening to me, huh? I haven't seen that since… I'd say twenty years ago, but you didn't listen back then either, did you?

…

Hold that umbrella tight. I need to do something. I don't want you to burn while I do…

[Hug]

This.

I haven't had the chance to say this but… I'm sorry.

…

For… not being there. I know this is an irrational thought, but I can't get it out of my head.

(Regretful) I was the one who dared you to go into that church. I could have said anything else. I could have dared you to kiss the person on your right like a normal teen. I could have… I don't know. I could have done something.

(Regretful) I could have at least bothered to check. I was the last one to go. When our friends went in and never came out, I thought you were pulling a prank on me. So I waited, and waited… Until I couldn't sit still anymore and…

…(Trying to regain composure, deep breath in and out)

…I still have that scar. From when they struck me. I see it every day. It reminds me of… My promise.

…

I… made a promise to… your grave. Or… cenotaph, I suppose. Not like it matters.

I promised you I'd never be a coward again. I promised I wouldn't let anyone else suffer like you did.

(Soft, almost breaking) …I did it. I'm no longer scared of vampires. I fulfilled my promise. I did… I did it.

…

(Sigh) Next week. We're gonna kill each other next week, and here I am, talking to you as if nothing ever happened.

As if our lives didn't take wildly different paths. Me with the vampire hunters, and you with… with the bloodmoon coven.

I must admit. Your quote unquote master is real charismatic. Seven more minutes of talking to {her/him} and {she/he} would have convinced me to become one of yours.

(Casually) Agh… What am I doing? I'm revealing everything. Everything I've worked so hard for. All for… nothing. All for… you, I suppose.

Bah, I guess I owed you one for healing my arm.

…

This is gonna sound like I've lost my mind but… part of me wants you to win. To massacre my whole squad and take control of… Everything.

…

Yeah, yeah, I know. Why in the world would I want you to win? Like I said, I've lost my mind but… (Softly) this is hopeless.

If you're gone, another vampire will just take your place. And then another… then another… and another…

(Sigh)

This can't keep going on.

Either something big happens, or we all slowly rot away, and become livestock. And honestly, if that happens, you'd be the best candidate for… I dunno, supreme ruler of all mankind? Strongest vampire that exists?

I've gone up against so many vampires. So, so many… you can't even imagine how cruel they can get. And the only thing that's stopping them… Is you. If you're gone… (Sigh) We're gonna have to work very hard.

…

So… you will still be there, right? Next week.

…

Of course. I don't even know why I ask.

You do realize one of us won't make it out alive, right? It's either you or me, old friend, and I'll tell you… I will not hold back. I'll use all of my strength.

(Chuckle) All of my strength, huh? How… insignificant of me.

…

You do get where I'm going with this, right? This might be the last time we see each other.

…

Right, right… Let's make the most out of the time we've got. You're always so optimistic, you know? If I was in your place, I'd probably be a pile of ashes by my second week.

(Realizing) If… I was in your place…

…

I… think we should part ways here.

…

Sorry… I now it's sudden but… look where we are. We've circled the whole neighborhood just talking about us. We're back at my place and…

Well… I'm back on duty tomorrow, and I have a feeling my workmates are gonna want to celebrate my recovery. I know them like my own family.

Can't let them see me housing a presumed dead vampire.

So… yeah. I guess this is where we say goodbye.

…

They still think the Crimson Crescent is a coven. My squad I mean. And everyone else for that matter. Do whatever you want with that information.

In exchange, though, I need to ask you something…

(Hesitating) If… if it's possible. If you face my squad… Please… let go of any grudges you may have, and grant them a quick, painless death.

It's all I can ask for.

[Speaker gets their keys in and opens the door to their home]

If you want, you can have one final taste of my blood. As an oath or… something. I don't know at this point.

…

Yeah, I know that was weird. But it's the last time we'll be able to talk to each other like this.

[Speaker walks towards the couch, and flops into it]

(Relieved) Aaaaghhh…

It really is next week.

For some reason, it's… liberating. Everything I fought towards for half of my life will be achieved. I'm so ready to finish this once and for all.

I'm so… so… tired…

…I guess it's the same for you, right?

…

Yeah, I know.

Let's not make this any harder, alright? I'm too tired from this. I'll… I'll take a small nap. Try not to be there by the time I wake up, okay?

…

Thanks… Appreciate it…

Good night slash day, Crimson Crescent. (Slowly fading out) Or… should I say…

… [Time skip]

[Speaker wakes up]

Ugh… Great, I slept through the whole afternoon.

God I'm hungry.

Huh… it's been a while since it was so quiet in here. How do they even snore so much? They don't even need to breathe.

(Slowly noticing listener left something) I'll never understand… vam… pires…

Huh? Did they leave something?

[Speaker shifts around]

It has a note… Heh, at least they didn't forget how to write.

(Reading out loud) "Use this only in the face of certain death"

[Laughing to themselves]

You're truly unpredictable, Crimsy.

I'll see you again… next week.

Word count: 2635

My Masterlist!

It's been a while since I've written. This time, I'm doing one of my very rare human listeners (HAH, I TRICKED YOU, LISTENER IS NOT HUMAN ANYWAY. MWAHAHAHAHAH!)

RULES FOR POSTING: If you fill this script, I must be notified of it and credited in some way. If this script is paywalled, you should contact me and give me a way for me to watch the final result without the paywall, be it by giving me a subscription to your service or the final result through other methods privately.

If the script contains a {bracket like these}, it is a gendered piece of dialogue. Make sure to select the option that matches the speaker’s gender, always. Even if the character that's being talked about isn't the speaker.

Summary for the Listener: You were supposed to be a regular human. You knew there was nothing particularly remarkable that would make you stand out. At times, you've contemplated just starting a new life somewhere far away, where perhaps you could be appreciated. Fortunately, the demon {girl/boy} that summoned {herself/himself} agrees with you, in the most twisted way possible.

Google Docs Link

ASMRchives link!

Scriptbin link!

Script Starts Here!

---

Ah. There you are. It's taken me quite a while to track your energy down.

[Laughing to themselves]

Would you look at that. You almost jumped all the way to the rooftop. I made the right choice paying you a visit. You're definitely gonna be a fun one to keep around.

Oh, come on, I'm just messing with you. (Mimicking panic) "W-w-wh-who are you? G-get out of my property" Y'know, you would be a lot more convincing if you didn't sound like you were about to wet your pants.

Though… who am I? I wonder I wonder. Do the horns not give it away? How about the wings? Maybe my spade shaped tail? Do I have to summon myself again to make it clear?

Excuse me? I am much more than "just a demon". But I'll forgive you for your oversight. Humans are just ignorant like that.

Well, what do you know about us demons? I have to test your knowledge, for my… mission.

Ugh. [Fingers snap, and spell sound effects]

Much, much better. I swear, humans are so predictable. One glance at us, and they turn to cavemen panicking at a fireplace.

You're so much prettier with your mouth shut. I'll keep you like that for a while.

It's magic, dear. You humans have forgotten how to use it, but it's still there. A simple silencing spell. Scream your lungs out, hit the walls, do whatever you want. No one's going to notice.

Now, do I need to cast a binding spell as well? (Teasing) Wouldn't mind seeing you all tied up.

Sit. I won't say it twice.

See? It's so much easier when you cooperate. Try not to resist next time. Or do resist. (Close to listener's ear) We *really* like it when you do.

…

Remember, I can't hear you. But… I'm gonna guess you're asking why I'm here. What can I say? You are all sooooo predictable.

No, darling, you did not summon me by accident, though it would have been hilarious. The truth is much, much more fun than that.

Well, let's say I'm going to keep you company for a long, long time.

Till death do us part, as you humans say.

Okay, okay. I'll stop dragging it out, you don't have to pout. Actually, keep pouting, it's kinda adorable.

What if I told you… I'm here to drag you to the deepest pit of Hell?

Oh, that look in your eye! I can practically hear the 'Y-you're kidding, right?'.

I don't know. Do I look like I'm kidding? Cause, as regent of Hell, I take these matters *very* seriously. And you* are in luck. You get to skip the whole boring human life part, and (Something about taking part in the endless torture of forsaken souls). One way ticket, free of charge.

Down, human. I didn't say you could get up.

Y'know, I'm supposed to bring your soul down to hell. It's kind of my duty. But there's nothing in the rules that says your body must arrive in one piece. So behave and we won't have any issues.

…

[Snap]

This is your last chance. Scream, resist or breathe out of order and you won't be opening your mouth in a long while.

How long? Wait, you mean how long you'll be staying? Buddy. Buddy buddy buddy. That's not how it works. Ever heard the term 'Immortal soul'?

(Giggles) Oh yes, human. You are getting a permanent residence . For aaaaaall of eternity.

…

Look at you! Your blood ran cold! That means I'm doing my job perfectly.

What? I'm a demon of wrath. Well, a "devil" of wrath. It's in my nature, and my purpose, to drive humans towards wrath.

Oh, I bet you thought I would be all angry and grumpy. I mean, I could be, (condescending) if it gets you mad.

…

Eternal suffering? Oh you're such a drama queen. It's not gonna be all eternal suffering. You're gonna be under my watch. And if anyone dares even look at you wrong… Well, you'll see what actual eternal suffering looks like.

Hah! A choice? Darling, I'm in charge of you. You never had a choice. But hey, I can just leave you alone and let the other devils get you. Turns out, half of hell's got… well, one "hell" of a grudge against you.

…

You… no. No way you don't know. You… (Bursting out laughing)

Oh! Oh okay! So you have no idea! That's why you were so worried! You thought you were gonna be one of those poor human sinners! Oh that's just adorable! I should pat your head for that.

[Pat pat sounds]

There there, much better. You don't even have nubs. That's so adorable!

Yeah, I said Nubs. For your horns. I can't wait to see what they end up growing to be.

…

You… don't understand? What do you not understand, dear? The nubs? The devil in your bed? Or the dragging you to hell part?

All of it. Mkay, mkay. I'll give you all of it.

What was my title again? Come on, human, I'm sure you remember it.

That's right, regent of Hell. And you, little human, are it's prince.

…

What? No, I'm not messing with you. (Teasing) Do these eyes look like they're lying? I'm a wrath devil, not a hypocrisy devil.

Well, there's some conflicts about making hypocrisy the eighth sin. Hell's a lot more political than you'd think. But that's besides the point.

Turns out, your grandma's been around. And by around, I mean aroooound. I never really got what Lord Satan saw in you humans, but now that I take a good look at you… (Seductively) Mmmmmhhhhhmmmmm… I'm starting to understand.

Relax, I'm not gonna sink my fangs on you, heir.

I thought it was pretty obvious, isn't it? You, my cute adorable human-For now-, Are the heir to hell itself. I'm not gonna bore you with the details but… well, let's say the throne's been empty since Lord Satan's… assassination.

Pfft, what's with that face? Feeling bad for the devil who's gonna drag you down to the darkest depths of Avernus?

(Laughing) Oh my Lord. You are just irresistible! You don't seem as nervous as before. Did my devillish charms get to you?

I'm flattered, really. But that's not going to save you, human. I'm still dragging you down.

…

Nnnope. You have no choice in the matter. It's either me or the next demon that finds you. Like I said, as long as your soul arrives, who knows what they will do to your body?

…

Oh? That's a good one. You're smarter than I thought. Buuuuut you can't just 'royal decree' your way out of this. Cause right now, you're nothing but a magicless weakling.

Don't get me wrong, you have potential. But potential alone won't cut it. Only a demon can be the ruler of hell, and right now, you're looking pretty human to me. If you try to tell the council (Mockingly) 'B-b-b-but i'm the r-r-r-ruler of hell! I c-c-c-comand you to let me g-g-go'…

They will eat. You. Up.

[Speaker makes an exaggerated chomping sound]

…

Awww come on! I thought we were making progress. And now you're back with that (Mockingly) 'I have friends, I have family!' shtick? Well, if it makes you feel better…

(Closer to listener) I'll drag them down next.

Shhhhh shhhh shhhhh… We don't want your neighbors calling the cops, do we, Lord? Or… maybe you do.

My plan was taking you with me but… I suppose if you want company… A few pistol rounds have never stopped me.

…

No? Nothing? Oh well, it would have been fun. Still, my mission is my mission.

[Speaker claps twice]

Ready to go?

…

Ugh, what now? If you keep asking questions I'll just cut to the chase.

…

Oh, right! Of course! The friends and family part! Well, I said what I said. When they die, they'll go down to keep you company.

…

(A few giggles) Oh, oh that's a good one. They're not going to heaven, dear. First of all, your family already has demon blood in it. That's an instant blacklist, effective at birth.

And well… for your friends… do you really think you can be friends with Satan and take as much as a peek at the pearly gates?

…

(flat) …Human. You *are* Satan. Or at least, the equivalent of him. Doesn't matter if you knew or not.

I don't make the rules. But you, my dear devil-to-be, will. If you don't like that, welllll… we were planning on conquering Earth and the heavens anyway. Once we take over, you will choose who goes where.

…

Surprised? Were you expecting us to be all peace loving hippies? We're demons, buddy. And some fallen angels here and there.

…

You don't like it, huh? Of course you don't. Humans.

Weeeeeeell… (Close up) Try to stop us. It's not like you can't. By the time you take the throne, you'll be able to do whatever the hell you want.

The choice is yours, in the end. Though, if you ask me, I'd say give those pesky angels a lesson in humility.

…

Listen, you'd know if you met them, but angels are just so annoying. I'm doing them a favor sending my… your troops there.

If you want to stop me. You know what you have to do.

But I warn you. It's not going to be that easy.

How many demons will think of a halfling as a worthy leader? You'll have hundreds of thousands of fangs sinking into your skin before you've taken your first step.

…Unless, human, I keep you company. (Teasing) You're gonna be sooooo lonely without me. What are you gonna do without your good ol' Regent? You'll get ripped apart. Here, let me check again.

[Speaker caresses listener's head]

Hmmmmm… Oh, wait a second! No… nevermind, no nubs yet. But don't worry. Hybrids take around fifty years to grow their horns… in hell. Here on Earth, with its low magic… I'd say two hundred should be right.

That's not enough time, is it? Good. That means you have fifty years to get used to the nether realms. I'll teach you everything. How to draw power from negative emotions, and how to turn it into your own magic spells.

You're lucky. Veeery very lucky. Out of all your family, your blood is the most demonic. Trust me, I checked. That means you have the power of Lord Satan coursing through your veins. You, my dear human, are limitless. Not by a type of sin. Not by a circle of hell.

You are very dangerous. So don't be surprised if you see a corpse or two in your quarters. I'll have to take care of… potential assassins before you can sit on your throne without charring your cute little butt.

It's gonna suck the first few years, I won't lie to you. I'm going to have to carry you like a princess so you don't get your delicate feet burned. You humans are always sooooo finicky.

…

Huh. I didn't expect you to ask me that. What do I gain by helping you?

You're right. I could be regent for a thousand years to come. Who in their right minds would put a half-human on the throne? Nobody would oppose me. And I could finally declare war on heaven and Earth. It would be so, so easy.

And soooooooo utterly boring.

Who wants to see the same thing over and over and over again for thousands of years? I've been at it for, what? Fifty years? And it's all the same bureaucratic nonsense all the time. As regent, I hold power to heavily influence whatever goes on down there.

However, a true monarch of Hell such as you would hold absolute authority. You want something, you ask for it. And all us imps could do is shut our mouths and obey. No one wants their archdevil mad at them.

I want you to be our archdevil. The absolute monarch of the underworld. I want to see how you grow from a frail, little human into the glory of our former lord. And I don't want to miss a second of it.

You'll become more than you'd ever be if I left you to rot here. Whether you want to or not.

(Teasing) Weeeeeeell? Do you want to, or do I have to hold you tight so you won't escape?

…

I'm gonna have to tease you more often if you blush so hard. I'll take that as a 'Hold me tight cause I will escape'.

[Speaker holds listener tight]

There you are. Resist as much as you like. Unless you have the strength to stop a truck, you won't even budge me. Don't worry, give it a few decades and you'll see just how strong you can get.

We're gonna have to keep your identity secret for a while though. Hope you don't mind a fake name, cause… your current one doesn't sound too… demon-y.

I'm thinking… Baeroth? No, sounds too slothy for you. Dorim? Ugh, absolutely not.

Whatevs, we'll figure it out on our way there.

Oh, you stopped resisting. Already gave up? Can't you try a little harder? Or should I hold you… even. Tighter?

[Speaker holds listener tighter]

There you go! That's what I like to see! Don't pretend you don't like it either. I haven't even lifted you yet. Aaaaaaand hop.

[Speaker lifts listener up]

There you go. Now your feet aren't touching the ground. They're gonna stay like this for a while.

…

Hah! absolutely not. You can't say goodbye to anyone. You're mine, for now. You'll meet them again in fifty years, remember?

(Excited) I can't wait to show you around hell. You're gonna love it. Especially my… your palace. You've never seen a building this big in all of Earth. Honestly, I don't know why you humans don't all move to hell and leave this plane behind.

Don't worry, you'll see it with your own two eyes. I won't let go. I promise you that.

Are you ready to go?

…

(A bit annoyed) Ugh, fine. You can take one thing from your room. One thing only, mkay?

No I'm not letting you go! Just tell me and I'll grab it. You got five seconds to choose.

(Progressively taking longer) Fiiiiive…

Fooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr…

Thhhhreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Two and a haaaaaalf…

…

Huh, you're taking that? Well well well. I'll grab it for you.

…

[Speaker grabs whatever the listener chose]

There you go. One arm for that, another arm for you.

You tried to trick me, didn't you? Thought I couldn't hold you still with one arm, did ya?

Well that's too bad. But I like your cunning. You'll be a great archdevil. (Slow realization) I can see… it…

…Human? Human, are you there?

(Sigh) They fainted, of course. Well then. Guess I don't need to ask if you're ready anymore.

I'm gonna love seeing your face when you wake up.

Shame I didn't get to tell them the trip's gonna be excruciatingly painful. Oh well, it's good they're unconscious for it.

…

(Whispering) Riiiiight, human?

(Realizing) Huh. They really have fainted. I thought it was another trick. I guess my bluff didn't work.

Alrighty. To hell we go. The both of us.

[Portal opens]

Sweet dreams, Your Majesty.

[A few seconds pass, and the portal closes]