u/VincentVegasMother

I often rely on “this too shall pass” to help me with a positive parenting mindset - the bad times are a phase so don’t stress, the good times are a fleeting moment so savor them.

But I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant with an almost 3 year old and a 20 month old and I’m kind of miserable.

My husband and I are tired, its too hot to do anything, and even if it wasn’t, I can’t be on my feet for too long and the pelvic pain is brutal (yes have been working with a PFT). So we end up staying inside, piddling around the house, and trading off 1-2 hour shifts. When it’s my “break” time I either sleep or scroll on my phone.

Our boys are overall pretty good, especially with independent play, but the toddler emotions and toy fighting is overstimulating. The days have been mind numbing and I’m counting down the hours until daycare on Monday.

It makes me feel horrible bc I love our family so much but I haven’t been able to experience family time above survival mode (at best) for awhile. Having boy 3 in a few weeks simultaneously feels like a light at the end of the tunnel and a whole new form of darkness that we’ll have to navigate through for who knows how long. I want to start karate for our oldest, take them to the pool, DO something, enjoy time together but between the heat and my being beat up by pregnancy (soon to be newborn survival), it feels so impossible and so far away.

Maybe this is a vent or looking for commiseration but I genuinely don’t see myself as this time of miserable mom in the big picture. Tips or advice to make it through difficult seasons like this (that feel like they have no end in sight)?

We were in the market for an Odyssey and test drove a 2018 recently. The car itself was in great condition but there was an odd suspension feeling that made me sick. It almost felt like the car was floating too much around the road - something I could see being a benefit for some over a potential alternative of being very stiff in response to road bumps. It reminded me a bit of the drive on a Tesla (not sure which model/year) that also makes me extremely sick.

Has anyone else experiences this or know what I’m talking about?

I’ve found a few mentions of people disliking the drive starting in 2018-today’s model but it’s sparse and I mostly see praise of how it drives. The dealer mentioned this might be a quality of Japanese suspension. I’m not sure if we should keep testing or if that’s typical for all Odysseys.

We were in the market for an Odyssey and test drove a 2018 recently. The car itself was in great condition but there was an odd suspension feeling that made me sick. It almost felt like the car was floating too much around the road - something I could see being a benefit for some over a potential alternative of being very stiff in response to road bumps. It reminded me a bit of the drive on a Tesla (not sure which model/year) that also makes me extremely sick.

Has anyone else experiences this or know what I’m talking about?

I’ve found a few mentions of people disliking the drive starting in 2018-today’s model but it’s sparse and I mostly see praise of how it drives. The dealer mentioned this might be a quality of Japanese suspension. I’m not sure if we should keep testing or if that’s typical for all Odysseys.

Husband and I considering Carnival & Odyssey and are debating buying new vs used.

I am starting to strongly lean Carnival due to ability to remove seats in the middle row. (see edit) I’m also leaning strongly hybrid but could be talked out of that if anyone has perspective value-wise.

When looking at used hybrid Carnivals, since there is such little history and inventory, it almost seems like they are priced new? Maybe a few thousand under but nothing like the “20% value loss after driving off the lot” that I’d usually expect. Seems like there is more of a spread for non-hybrids but still not by much.

Has anyone else noticed this lack of benefit with buying a few years used? Or should we just keep looking?

If we were willing to go <2020 on an Odyssey, that seems like legit savings, but I’m skeptical of the benefit doing that if we can technically afford new and I prefer the Carnival layout flexibility.

Thoughts?

Edit: thank you to those who corrected that the middle seats in the Odyssey CAN be removed. That changes the equation so looking more seriously into older 2018-2019 models but still uneasy about new vs used tradeoffs.

My husband and I got together later in life but always wanted 3-4 kids so we‘ve been speed running. We currently have 2 that are 14 months apart with 1 on the way due a month before our oldest turns 3.

I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding non-stop since late 2022 and my body is worn out. While I’ve thankfully not had serious medical complications, between back to back pregnancies and multiple toddlers - it’s been a taxing few years.

As much as we sometimes feel like we are hanging by a thread, my husband and I love it and thinking ahead about our family, we lean towards wanting a 4th. We are in a strong position to support a large family (emotionally, financially, logistically) and lots of kids aligns with our life vision and values. Now that we’ve been envisioning this 4th kid so much, it’s almost heartbreaking to think it might not happen.

The problem is I don’t know if I can physically (and mentally) handle another pregnancy. Waiting longer before the next could help (maybe?) for a more full recovery but I‘m almost 40 so I do feel a little clock ticking. That also means continuing baby/toddler years for even longer and I worry a bit about a larger gap making the youngest feel a bit left out.

Part of me feels like short-term challenge should not stop us if 4 is what we really want - the hard parts just make the sweet parts sweeter. But another part of me feels like I’m about to break sometimes and don’t know how I’d handle staying in the “baby making” phase of life for a few more years.

Would love anyone’s thoughts or take!