u/Virtual-Elk-3991

Hi everyone! I’ve identified as aroace-spec for quite some time now and am at a point where I am feeling pretty secure about my identity.

Since I’m not completely romance or sex-repulsed, I’ve been trying to gauge what a future partner may look like, as I enjoy the concept of romance but am averse to it when it directly involves me. With that said, I’ve tried talking to people online to get a handle on where my limits are and if dating is even for me in the first place.

I met someone a few months ago at a wedding who was very forward in expressing their interest in me and really wanted me to keep in touch. I wasn’t immediately anxious whenever we spoke at the time, which I thought to be interesting, but it’s hard to envision myself in a conventional relationship. Three months have passed since the wedding, and I heard through a friend yesterday that they’re still interested in me after all that time. I’m interested in experimenting and maybe trying to go out on a date but I also feel like that might not be fair to him if I’m not so seriously interested. At the end of the day, I really don’t know if I could take dating seriously enough or if it’d even be worth trying this out to get even more clarity on my identity? I don’t believe that he falls anywhere on the ace/aro spectrum either, so I find that a tad worrisome as well.

Hi everyone! I’ve identified as aroace-spec for quite some time now and am at a point where I am feeling pretty secure about my identity.

Since I’m not completely romance or sex-repulsed, I’ve been trying to gauge what a future partner may look like, as I enjoy the concept of romance but am averse to it when it directly involves me. With that said, I’ve tried talking to people online to get a handle on where my limits are and if dating is even for me in the first place.

I met someone a few months ago at a wedding who was very forward in expressing their interest in me and really wanted me to keep in touch. I wasn’t immediately anxious whenever we spoke at the time, which I thought to be interesting, but it’s hard to envision myself in a conventional relationship. Three months have passed since the wedding, and I heard through a friend yesterday that they’re still interested in me after all that time. I’m interested in experimenting and maybe trying to go out on a date but I also feel like that might not be fair to him if I’m not so seriously interested. At the end of the day, I really don’t know if I could take dating seriously or if it’d even be worth trying this out to get even more clarity on my identity? I don’t believe that he falls anywhere on the ace/aro spectrum either, so I find that a tad worrisome as well.

Hello! I wanted to get some additional perspective on this question. I am interested in dating, but at this present moment, I am not interested in marriage, homeowning, or having kids. Part of this is due to me working on establishing my career path, which has been extremely non-linear and necessitated a lot of proactiveness on my part.

I had recently been in a talking stage with someone who was very interested in homeowning and settling down. However, I unfortunately felt that our timelines were mismatched at the time and felt it best to call things off. With that said, I was curious to know if anyone is currently in a relationship where they have non-traditional priorities/goals that both you and your partner are working towards together. I’m mentally at a crossroads where I’m not sure if it’d be selfish to try dating again knowing I really don’t have these same traditional priorities for the long term. While I know not everyone prioritizes marriage in life, I’d really love to hear specifics on other kinds of goals. It is very possible I could develop the desire for these traditional goals later on, but if I were to date sometime soon, I’d have to consider going into the next relationship where I am with these current feelings of mine. I am interested in companionship but I simply don’t know if that’s enough.