u/Virtual-Pie9531

Hello!

After the first few weeks of parenting with apps I switched to cues/vibes because the apps were driving me insane.

I am struggling with his evening sleeps though. We are pretty busy during the day since it's summer here so he has gotten used to napping on the go. He will only contact nap in the day so it's not much different if I do it home or at the park or walking around. But by the time we get home it seems like he just wants to go to sleep for the night around 530.

I try to keep him up until 730, then do his bedtime routine and contact nap for an hour, then transfer to his bassinet (this is the only way he will go in there and it will only happen once a day for his night sleep). From then on he sleeps until between 8 until anywhere between 2:30-5am. After that we Safe Sleep 7 till 8am.

I'm afraid if I let him go to sleep at 530, then he will wake up around 11:30pm and not go back in his bassinet. Then I will be cosleeping for a much longer time, which I try to avoid due to anxiety, though I do long cosleeping with him and am actively trying to find a comfortable safe setup, the current one has my hips hurting pretty quickly. My body is not made for a firm mattress 😅.

I feel bad not letting him sleep. And there's no short nap at that point in the day, if I try to get him up at 6pm after a 30 minute nap or so, he is sooooo mad and just wants to sleep. But 530 seems really early.

Does anyone have any advice on what they do for evenings?

Hello!

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My 10 week old bedshares for part of the night every night as we wont go back in his bassinet.

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We try to do the c curl now but I am curious about what people are doing when they have happy spitter babies. After he breastfeeds he spits up often. He doesn't when he contact naps during the day because he is asleep on my chest on his stomach. However we cant sleep like that at night because he is searching for boob all night and ends up sliding off,he won't just stay on my chest.

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I had a set up for the second part of the night for the last 10 weeks that allowed him to be on my chest, but it definitely wasn't sleep safe 7 approved, it was just what I came up with as a solution for his reflux as every time I tried to c curl I ran into this issue. I would obviously prefer to c curl for the safety of my child and for my anxiety.

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However I can't just keep him laying in his spitup next to me, and I can't change the bed 10x a night. I've tried moving into different spots of the bed but we run out of safe spots.

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Does anyone have any solutions for this?

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TIA

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I have the Genie Advanced with the liquid shields. Turns out I have elastic nipples and whenever I try to pump it causes pain. My size is correct and I have tried the size up and same issue.

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I've been using coconut oil to make sure it can slide but my nipples still go to the other end of the pump and cause pain.

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I've read that I shouldn't be using the liquid shields with elastic nipples. What other options are there to use with the Genie?

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My baby is 6 weeks old and he is so fussy. I feel like I can't properly soothe him.

I breastfeed and it's the only thing he wants ever.

He is gaining weight beautifully so my milk output isn't a concern.

But the only thing that makes him stop crying usually is breastfeeding. He will feed even when I know he's full. He hates being handed to anyone else. He's pretty good with my mom and MiL, but he will not settle with my husband.

He's gassy and I am convinced he has reflux. I've mentioned this to the doctor and they just say it's normal. He spits up a lot. Is gassy. Only poops every 2nd or 3rd day. Chokes on milk while breastfeeding (and it's a random times so I don't think it's the letdown).

He hates laying flat and spits up almost instantly. He will spit up regardless, but being laid flat is noticeably uncomfortable for him. I do the 30 min holding upright before laying down, and all the suggestions and none of it works.

But either he is in pain or I am a bad mom and can't figure out how to make my child happy.

He is only happy breastfeeding and sleeping on my chest. Laying him down is usually hard. I do get random spurts where I can lay him down and he is happy and chill, but those are very random.

He also will not settle with my husband at all. He is convinced his baby hates him.

But I went to a mom and baby fitness class where most babies were around the same age and their babies barely fussed or left the car seat. And their little cries were so small. Mine screams like he's way older, and I had to breastfeed him or have him out the whole time. He did chill a bit on the mat for me. But seeing him around other babies his age just made me realize how much more fussy he is than other babies.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Or any advice or insight into what I may be doing wrong here?

I bring it up at every appointment and I've gotten no help other than to cut his tongue tie, which we did a week and a half ago. I also have an appointment with a baby RMT to help with his gas and stuff but that's not for another few weeks.

But I'm worried he is in pain. I've started gripe water and it seems to help him move gas around but it's not a huge difference.

I'm going to ask my doc about probiotics or gas drops because something has to be done if he is in pain.

Anyway, any help is appreciated. Thanks!

My 6 week old sleeps in his bassinet for the first few hours, then he won't go back for any other part of the night or day. So we started a blend of bassinet and cosleeping.

I love cosleeping, but over the last few weeks I haven't been able to do the c curl like we could earlier on because when he lays flat his reflux and gas is bad. So I tried switching to chest sleeping and he just tries to feed the whole time cause that's how he falls asleep. Plus he's super wiggly so the chest sleeping isn't working.

He prefers to sleep with me on my back and him slightly to the side with my arms propped up on blankets or pillows.

During the day when I'm awake and contact napping, I've been using my pregnancy pillow and wrapping my blanket around me and under the outside of the pillows and laying him on top so he can't sink down. But obviously I'm not comfortable doing this in the night time. I have a few times out of sheer desperation for sleep and we have the owlet to monitor him. But obviously I would like a safer option.

I feel like I'm out of safe sleep options with him. Between the bassinet and the cosleeping options, they all aggravate his gas and reflux. But sleeping the way I mentioned above, he gets his gas up and rarely spits up.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Wondering if anyone has any links to an affordable extra firm mattress topper?

We are new to cosleeping and I currently have a memory foam on my bed. I wanted to just use our mattress but we have kind of a complex bed set up so that's not really feasible. Our mattress is solid and we have it on a pallet bed frame so it's quite low to the ground, now we just need a suitable topper.

Thanks!

When preparing to be a mom cosleeping never crossed my radar due to the stigma against it so I never looked into it or even knew there were safe methods.

The day my baby was brought home from the hospital it felt so wrong putting him in his bassinet and him not sleeping near me. He was upset, I was upset and neither of us were sleeping. So I asked a few friends and it turns out literally everyone I know secretly cosleeps.

My friend introduced me to the safe sleep 7 method and I started doing my own research from there. I still do the bassinet for his first sleep cycle in the night, but when he wakes up after he is harder to put back down so we end up cosleeping mostly.

I am convinced he has reflux as well and when he co sleeps he stays asleep for longer, doesn't have as much gas and spits up substantially less. I also actually get sleep.

My issue is I have anxiety and OCD and I bounce back and fourth between being happy with cosleeping and it stressing me out. I find if I read a mom group post that shames it I start spiraling again.

The only part of the safe sleep 7 I haven't been able to fix yet is the mattress. We have a memory foam and no easy way to fix this but trying to find a solution.

Bed sharing feels so much more natural to me now that I have a child but I am having trouble not being anxious about it. I'm obviously very fearful of SIDs and suffocation. Plus the constant fear mongering from doctors and online makes me feel like a horrible mom.

To note: I know this is also controversial but we also have the Owlet because she helps calm my anxiety. It also helped me notice his oxygen was low and get him emergency attention when he had a respiratory virus at 2 weeks old. So he sleeps with this in his bassinet and when he is cosleeping.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you overcome it?

Edited to add: Thank you so much for all the helpful comments. I really appreciate it. It really helps lessen my anxiety. I'm definitely going to look into a firm topper. If anyone has any suggestions at a reasonable price that would be great!

Thanks a bunch!

I am a FTM and my baby is 5 weeks old!

He is the sweetest baby and I love being a mom. But I'm just not sure if his temperament is normal or if the doctors are missing something.

The first 2 weeks he slept mostly easy and in the 2-3 hours stretches all day. I would have to wake him up to breastfeed. We got cleared to let him sleep for longer stretches around this time because he gained more than his birth weight back. He started sleeping for 4-5 hour stretches at night in his bassinet but then would only sleep on me after that stretch.

After the first sleep stretch around this time we also got into a cycle of waking, changing, feeding, putting back down to sleep and then he would wake up within minutes and spit up a bunch. I added in keeping him upright for 30min after feeding at this point but it does not help.

I asked the doctor and she said it was normal.

Anyway, we are on week 5 and now he won't do the 5 hour stretches in the bassinet. We MIGHT get one or 2 hours and then it's back to the same cycle mentioned.

The only time he will sleep for any length of time is when he is sleeping on me. He will sleep for 4 hours straight like this.

I have switched to half bassinet sleeping and half safe sleep 7 at night. And mainly contact naps during the day. (**I do not need opinions on safe sleep 7 as I am an anxious mom with diagnosed anxiety and OCD who was against this but after thorough research decided a blended version was best for us. We also use the owlet, and I am a light sleeper. I also do not live in the US.)

Anyway, he will not fall asleep unless he is breastfeeding. And if I give him to someone else (my husband, Mom, MiL, FiL, etc) he is fussy and will cry most of the time until handed back to me. Any other soothing option will not work. Pacifier, rocking, etc, I've tried it all, breastfeeding is the only thing that settles him. Which I am fine with but I feel like something is wrong when he won't settle any other way, especially when I know it's not hunger.

The last few days he also started randomly scream crying in his sleep. Then settling, then settling like nothing ever happened. And he will do this over and over again. Then sometimes he spits up, or is hella squirmy. But if I let him nap on me none of this happens. He sometimes gets squirmy when he's sleeping on me and is gassy, but there's so much less spitup and waking up, etc.

He really does not like to be on his back whether he is asleep or awake.

Some notes:

- I stopped swaddling him when in the bassinet and that's when the sleeping stretches shortened. But he would roll to his side constantly. Even if I rolled him back 100x he would roll right back.

- he had a tongue tie clipped last week so extra fussiness is expected right now. He was given baby tylonel to help with this but I think it was making the gas worse.

- he is very snorty and noisy when on his back (sleeping or awake)

- He has gained more than enough weight and height at this point according to the doctors.

- he also will sleep well if I have him in a carrier and am hiking.

-He has lots of pee and poop diapers.

I don't really know what to expect from a newborn, everything I research says "that's normal". But I'm concerned he's in pain that I'm not addressing adequately.

I am convinced he has reflux. The doctor is seeing if the tongue tie being cut will reduce it. So I guess I'll have to wait and see. But so far (4 days later) it hasn't helped. I am aware he has to relearn how to latch and may currently be swallowing more air which could contribute to the issue in the short term.

I am also wondering if its weird for your newborn to not settle with anyone else/any other soothing methods other than breastfeeding. I feel like I've been cluster feeding since he was born.

I am aware that so many changes happen early on. But given my anxiety and OCD, I need to ask these questions to other parents rather than the two doctors I have seen who keep saying it is normal.