u/VisitSecure

Some say this is ocd, maybe it's not, idfk anymore, but I have noticed a lot that when I'm sad for most of my day I tend to overthink a lot which causes me to not listen to people well and has started many arguments with people to the point I just believe if I wake up feeling sad or anxious, I'm gonna make someone else feel upset so I gotta find a way to make myself happy or I'll just make everything way worse. Basically I'm afraid I'mma jinx my whole day if I keep thinking negative thoughts and not positive ones.

Has anyone else ever felt this way before?

I don't do it anymore, but when I was a kid I hated feeling "common" like everything about me was normal and not special or whatever, so I would lie about things to make me feel different and stand out more.

For an example, I've always been a girly girl and still am, and as a kid I LOVED princesses so much that my dad even got me Disney princess wall stickers to put up in my room which I adored. However, when I would watch TV with my sister I noticed the "cool girl" or the one that "wasn't like other girls" was usually a tomboy, while the ones who were super girly like me were usually the mean ones and sometimes dumb. I wanted to feel different so I took off all the princess stickers I had in my room, stopped playing with dolls, and tried to act more like a guy to seem "cool" even though no one cared how I acted before. There was even a time when I tried to act like I was emo/goth for a while too.

I'm not saying being a tomboy, goth or emo is a bad thing, I'm just asking if anyone else has every lied about who you were or things you liked/disliked just cause you wanted to feel special and stand out. Luckily I don't feel this way anymore and I just do stuff I like to do instead of doing it for attention, but if you still feel this way just know I get how you're feeling, but you're still perfect the way you are.

I have many triggers, but these are the two I find the dumbest:

1: Getting cold.
If I'm hot and so I take off some of my clothes and get cold instantly OR one part of my body (mainly my ears, feet, or arms) gets colder than the rest of my body, it can trigger a seizure. It's so fucking stupid and because of this I usually wear pants, long sleeved shirts, and keep my hair down when I go out since most of the time it can cause a seizure if I don't. Even if it's summer.

2: Being "too" happy.
This happens with stress and anger too, but you guys have no idea how many vacations and fun activities I have ruined with my family and friends because I got "too excited" for too long and so it caused a seizure.

So what are somethings that can trigger a seizure for you that you find very stupid?