u/VladAndreMano

Hello.

I really feel like I need some help with this but I don't know where to start. Very recently I became aware of my covert narcissism, while not officially diagnosed, the behaviors are all there and they have been constant throughout my life.

I've always had maladaptive daydreaming, but after a relationship breakup which left me so exhausted to even attempt to try to get into a new relationship + a job which is fully remote and quite non demanding, my daydreaming has been insanely high.

I literally catch myself doing it non stop, I do it even now, I dream about becoming really great at something and receiving admiration, I dream about having conversations with people from the past, or venting inside my head.

Honestly I have no idea how to ground myself anymore. Funnily enough, a lot of my emotions seem to have "regulated" exactly because I daydream constantly, if I were to stay present in the real world for a little longer, I'd probably start feeling very distressed.

I used to play video games, but I literally cannot focus for like 20 minutes and I end up distracted by my daydreaming. TV shows sometimes keep me focused a little longer but it's still shakey.

Did anyone else have something similar and found any solution?

I'll start off by saying I am not diagnosed by a therapist, but I strongly believe I have covert narcissism or at the very least some form of OCD.

From a young age, i was a peculiar kid, i was shy and introverted but at the same time I'd try to get attention, doing a lot of stupid (but minor) things. I cannot recall ever saying "I love you" to my parents and even as a little kid, I cared more about toys and I tried desperately to impress the cool kids and be accepted. I'd annoy my parents until I got what I wanted then I'd be in my own little world.

As you might imagine, I don't have many friends, subconsciously I understood that something is weird with me but I put my money on social awkwardness.

I've been talking to a girl recently, and she was brutally open from the start, for some reason I felt safe telling her many things, and we juggled with ideas so much that I ended up connecting the dots.

She mentioned something about seeing that I have some expressions that I half do, like they are not really genuine. She was right, I was doing them manually, sort of what I understood as the "right thing to do".

I dug deeper, and realized that at the base of my every action, I'm looking for validation in everything I do, everything is about myself. I do have cognitive empathy, but I realized that emotionally I don't have it at all. When I do not get validation from someone or something, I revert back in my mind and play a fantasy that works for me.

This has been killing me, I couldn't sleep last night at all and my stomach is killing me, I feel empty and I feel like I cannot even trust my actions, hell, even posting here is a narcissistic action.

The thing is, I also get obsessed by bad news or the idea that something can go wrong. I am pretty hypochondriac and anxious to begin with and certain thoughts stick to me like glue (which can still point to Narcissism as it is about me as always). I wanted to get some opinions from people with OCD that have struggled with something similar too, is there a particular difference between them?

I'll start off by saying I am not diagnosed by a therapist, but I strongly believe I have covert narcissism.

From a young age, i was a peculiar kid, i was shy and introverted but at the same time I'd try to get attention, doing a lot of stupid (but minor) things. I cannot recall ever saying "I love you" to my parents and even as a little kid, I cared more about toys than interacting with other kids. I'd annoy my parents until I got what I wanted then I'd be in my own little world.

As you might imagine, I don't have many friends, subconsciously I understood that something is weird with me but I put my money on social awkwardness.

I've been talking to a girl recently, and she was brutally open from the start, for some reason I felt safe telling her many things, and we juggled with ideas so much that I ended up connecting the dots.

She mentioned something about seeing that I have some expressions that I half do, like they are not really genuine. She was right, I was doing them manually, sort of what I understood as the "right thing to do".

I dug deeper, and realized that at the base of my every action, I'm looking for validation in everything I do, everything is about myself. I do have cognitive empathy, but I realized that emotionally I don't have it at all.

This has been killing me, I couldn't sleep last night at all and my stomach is killing me, I feel empty and I feel like I cannot even trust my actions, hell, even posting here is a narcissistic action.

I really wanna understand how you guys deal with it, it feels like the lie I subconsciously told myself was caught by my rational self and now I cannot function at all.