u/VoidedOrxhid

I live in a Afro-Christian household that condemns any Hindu worship especially Kali, deeming it dark and involves animal sacrifice.

But Maa came to me, and shes always around so why me, is she just playing a game with me?

I am trying to eat vegetarian and especially stay away from beef. But it is slow to change my diet .

My restrictions: No image, no temple, no home temple, only mala beads, has to keep up a semi Christian face to others.

How do I show Maa my love in this confined situation?

Edit: Thank so much for the information, I felt bouts of doubt about my place with her and this helped me alot.

I am new to all of this and looking for some advice. I at times I have this feeling of overwhelming love for Maa that just takes me over when I think about her for too long, like it stops me in my tracks. I don't fall down or anything but I feel like I am about to burst.

I am new to all of this and looking for some advice. I at times I have this feeling of overwhelming love for Maa that just takes me over when I think about her for too long, like it stops me in my tracks. I don't fall down or anything but I feel like I am about to burst.

Hello,

About 3 months ago I had saw my first Kali home temple flag in the evening heading home from work, then the next morning was in bed around 5 am when I felt a dense concentrated vibration outside of my body, it had gotten so strong that I woke up, then waking I heard "bow" so I bowed in bed 3 times, I looked up and saw Kali with a curved sword in her right hand and a head in her left with rays of light behind her. Since then I had a pressure in my lower spine, dreams of going to temples, minor dreams of Kali and a feeling of my reality being permanently changed. Late last year I had a dream of Ganesh where he appeared within the Sun.

The thing is I'm an African in a country with a large Hindu base but still with alot of religious and racial stigma so I afraid to go to temples or be too open about my true intentions.

I have been doing naam jap of Ganesh, Shiva and Kali since then as a showing of gratitude.

Edit. Since then I also been craving the presence of these gods like I have never before, like a hunger that gets so intense at times.