u/Vuldddd

Je ne sais pas vraiment par où commencer, mais je suis à bout. J'ai 30 ans, et j'ai l'impression d'avoir complètement gâché ma vie.
Il y a six mois, j'ai fait une chirurgie All-on-4 à l'étranger, mais uniquement pour la mâchoire du haut. Avant cela, j'ai passé des années à dépenser des milliers d'euros pour essayer de sauver mes dents naturelles, avec une hygiène parfaite et en suivant tous les conseils. Pourtant, malgré tout l'argent et les efforts, mes dents continuaient de s'effriter jusqu'à ce qu'il n'en reste que 6. Je souffrais constamment. J'ai eu l'impression que je n'avais absolument pas d'autre choix que de trouver une option plus abordable, (en France 25 000€ la mâchoire supérieure) Je pensais réparer ma vie, mais aujourd'hui, j'ai l'impression d'avoir fait la plus grosse erreur de mon existence.

Demain, je reçois ma prothèse finale en zircone pour le haut. Tout le monde me dit que je devrais être heureux et soulagé mais ce n'est pas le cas. Je suis terrifié
Je panique déjà à l'idée de ce que je vais ressentir. J'ai peur de passer chaque seconde de la journée à l'analyser obsessionnellement avec ma langue, à remarquer la moindre petite imperfection, et à ne plus jamais pouvoir me sentir "normal(e)". Ma langue scanne constamment ma bouche, et je me sens comme un étranger dans mon propre corps — c'est comme si j'avais un objet étranger que mon cerveau refuse d'accepter. Je suis physiquement et mentalement épuisé par cette hyper-fixation constante.
En plus de ça, je suis paralysé par la peur de ce qui va suivre. Je suis terrifié qu'en cas de problème, aucun dentiste ici en France n'accepte de me voir ou de réparer le travail fait à l'étranger. J'ai l'impression d'avoir brûlé tous mes ponts. J'ai cette peur constante et écrasante d'être jugé, humilié ou même qu'on me dise que j'ai détruit ma bouche. J'ai l'impression de cacher un sombre secret que chaque professionnel que je rencontrerai verra et méprisera.
Je suis à bout. J'ai des idées noires qui ne me quittent pas, et je me sens complètement piégé dans ma propre peau. Je suis juste tellement fatigué de faire semblant d'être "fort" et de prétendre que tout va bien alors que je vis dans une anxiété constante. J'ai l'impression d'avoir perdu ma jeunesse et mon avenir en une seule chirurgie.
Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre a déjà ressenti ce niveau de regret et de désespoir à 30 ans ?

Comment gérez-vous la peur d'être abandonné(e) par le système médical ?

Je me sens incroyablement seul là-dedans, et n'importe quel soutien ou perspective signifierait tout pour moi en ce moment. Merci de m'avoir lu

I don’t really know how to start this, but I’m at my breaking point. I’m 30 years old, living in France, and I feel like I’ve completely ruined my life.
Six months ago, I had an All-on-4 procedure done abroad—but only for my upper jaw. Before this, I spent years and thousands of euros trying to save my natural teeth, keeping up with perfect hygiene, doing everything I was told. Yet, despite all the money and effort, my teeth just kept crumbling away until only 6 were left. I was in constant pain and agony. I felt like I had absolutely no other choice but to find a more affordable option abroad. I thought I was fixing my life, but now, I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my existence.
Tomorrow, I’m receiving my final zirconia prosthesis for the top. Everyone tells me I should be happy and relieved, but I’m not. I’m terrified.
I’m already panicking thinking about how it’s going to feel. I’m scared that I’ll spend every second of the day obsessively analyzing it with my tongue, noticing every tiny imperfection, and never being able to feel "normal" again. My tongue is constantly scanning my mouth, and I feel like a stranger in my own body—it's like I have a foreign object that my brain refuses to accept. I am physically and mentally exhausted from this constant hyper-fixation.
On top of that, I’m paralyzed by the fear of what happens next. I’m terrified that if I run into any problems, no dentist here in France will ever agree to see me or fix the work done abroad. I feel like I’ve burned all my bridges. I have this constant, crushing fear that I’ll be judged, humiliated, or even told that I’ve destroyed my mouth. I feel like I’m hiding a dark secret that every professional I meet will see and despise.
I’m at my breaking point. I have dark thoughts that won't go away, and I feel completely trapped in my own skin. I’m just so tired of being "strong" and pretending that I’m okay when I’m actually living in constant anxiety. It feels like I’ve lost my youth and my future in one surgery.
Has anyone else ever felt this level of regret and despair at 30? Does this feeling of having a "foreign object" ever truly go away? And how do you deal with the fear of being abandoned by the medical system? I feel so incredibly alone in this, and any support or perspective would mean the world to me. Thank you for listening.

I don’t really know how to start this, but I’m at my breaking point. I’m 30 years old, living in France, and I feel like I’ve completely ruined my life.
Six months ago, I had an All-on-4 procedure done abroad—but only for my upper jaw. Before this, I spent years and thousands of euros trying to save my natural teeth, keeping up with perfect hygiene, doing everything I was told. Yet, despite all the money and effort, my teeth just kept crumbling away until only 6 were left. I was in constant pain. I felt like I had no other choice but to find a more affordable option abroad. I thought I was fixing my life, but now, I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my existence.
Tomorrow, I’m receiving my final zirconia prosthesis for the top. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m in a state of pure panic.
I’m already panicking thinking about how it’s going to feel. I’m scared that I’ll spend every second of the day obsessively analyzing it with my tongue, noticing every tiny imperfection, and never being able to feel "normal" again. I feel like a stranger in my own body—it's like I have a foreign object that my brain refuses to accept. I am physically and mentally exhausted from this constant hyper-fixation.
But my deepest fear is the total isolation. I am terrified that if I run into any unexpected problems, no dentist here in France will ever agree to help me because the work was done abroad. I’m scared of the judgment, of being looked down upon, or being told that I destroyed my mouth. I have this paralyzing fear that I have "burned my bridges" and that if something goes wrong, I will be completely alone, with no one willing to "save" me or fix the issues. I feel like I’m hiding a dark secret that every professional I meet will see and despise.
I’m at my breaking point. I have dark thoughts that won't go away, and I feel completely trapped. I’m just so tired of being "strong" and living in constant anxiety. It feels like I’ve lost my youth and my future in one surgery.
Has anyone else ever felt this level of regret at 30? Does this feeling of having a "foreign object" ever truly go away? And how do you deal with the fear of being abandoned by the medical system here if something goes wrong? I feel so incredibly alone in this, and any support would mean the world to me. Thank you for listening.

I don’t really know how to start this, but I’m at my breaking point. I’m 30 years old, living in France, and I feel like I’ve completely ruined my life.
Six months ago, I had an All-on-4 procedure done abroad—but only for my upper jaw. Before this, I spent years and thousands of euros trying to save my natural teeth, keeping up with perfect hygiene, doing everything I was told. Yet, despite all the money and effort, my teeth just kept crumbling away until only 6 were left. I was in constant pain. I felt like I had no other choice but to find a more affordable option abroad. I thought I was fixing my life, but now, I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my existence.
Tomorrow, I’m receiving my final zirconia prosthesis for the top. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m in a state of pure panic.
I’m already panicking thinking about how it’s going to feel. I’m scared that I’ll spend every second of the day obsessively analyzing it with my tongue, noticing every tiny imperfection, and never being able to feel "normal" again. I feel like a stranger in my own body—it's like I have a foreign object that my brain refuses to accept. I am physically and mentally exhausted from this constant hyper-fixation.
But my deepest fear is the total isolation. I am terrified that if I run into any unexpected problems, no dentist here in France will ever agree to help me because the work was done abroad. I’m scared of the judgment, of being looked down upon, or being told that I destroyed my mouth. I have this paralyzing fear that I have "burned my bridges" and that if something goes wrong, I will be completely alone, with no one willing to "save" me or fix the issues. I feel like I’m hiding a dark secret that every professional I meet will see and despise.
I’m at my breaking point. I have dark thoughts that won't go away, and I feel completely trapped. I’m just so tired of being "strong" and living in constant anxiety. It feels like I’ve lost my youth and my future in one surgery.
Has anyone else ever felt this level of regret at 30? Does this feeling of having a "foreign object" ever truly go away? And how do you deal with the fear of being abandoned by the medical system here if something goes wrong? I feel so incredibly alone in this, and any support would mean the world to me.

Thank you for listening.