u/Waste-Ad2169

This is so embarrassing, but idk where else to go with this experience. I cope with my lack of romantic love in my life with major maladaptive daydreaming. I always picture myself with scenarios with my crushes, or like random guys that i pick that i kinda know but i don't actually know. anyways i got high the other night and was picturing scenarios as i was falling asleep, and i visualized myself being held and i don't know why but i really felt it in the moment that intense feeling of intimacy and i opened my eyes and just started to cry. I was so sad that it's so out of my reach. The last time I was held like that was when I was 19, and I'm 23 now, and it was so short-lived. I want it so bad, and it kills me that I can't have it.

I 24F matched with this guy on Hinge 26M. We've matched before but it never really went anywhere because I ghosted but I decided to make the effort. We have a date scheduled in a week but have been chatting in the meantime, and I really want to cancel the date. He says he's looking for something long term, but randomly in a conversation told me the size of his dick and how long he lasts (didn't ask). When I sort of glazed over it because I didn't want to go there he went "i know you want to see it". He keeps asking me what time I start and end work, and because I have a really unique name and work a public-facing career, he ADMITTED to finding my LinkedIn and my office. When I don't answer in a day or two, he will just double text. He also just comes off very insecure for other reasons I won't get into (just how he responds and sometimes gets upset at a lighthearted joke). I really really want to cancel the date but I'm really creeped out and scared he's going to do or say something especially because we've been chatting for a couple days. Not sure how to do it respectfully. I'm just creeped out that he knows all of this public information about me now.....and i really made the mistake of telling him i work overnight solo night shifts at the office (i said this before he got creepy and i really know I shouldn't have). I worry he's going to do somethng weird like show up to my office, but i may be overly anxious.

I feel like all that tells me is my match uses the app a lot and matches/talks to a lot of people. I know that's the point of the app and what you are supposed to do, but I don't need to be reminded every time I talk to them and see their signals, lol.