u/WayyyToWasted

I'm struggling a lot right now. I went to psychiatry to finally, after all those years of repressing it and self denial, tackle this topic that is so important to me. I also said that transition is my main priority, so i can tackle my other problems as myself. Which she agreed is the right way. It was the first time I admitted who I am in a medical setting.. and at first the psychiatrist seemed to be accepting but also clarified that I can't get treatment for this here. So obviously I asked if I can get a referral to somebody that will and she said she'll look into it. At today's session she felt like totally switched up. Talking about how I need to "learn to also accept me in my current state" and that she wants that I stay and tackle my other issues. Which like..no. I need to be me first to be able to deal with my problems. I thought we were on the same wavelength about it. Now I'm just left so... frustrated and unenergetic... I finally admitted who I am because I am at my breaking point regarding that and just can't deal with not being me anymore. It pains everyday. And somehow now she's disregarding it even though she agreed. I don't know what to do next...I feel so lost..

It feels so impossible to say..and even if I could get myself to..I don't know what the hell to say.. I really need help with this. I'm currently in psych and really NEED to get this out of me this stay..but it is so difficult..