u/Weak_Might981

I want to divorce my husband. He’s a lousy husband and an uninvolved parent. We have two little girls who deserve to be raised in a happy home but right now they don’t have that. The issue is that if I get divorced, I can’t afford to move out. I’m a financial prisoner. Despite being married for 8 years my husband has refused to get a joint account. He makes $72 an hour. I make $18 an hour because I took a job at my children’s daycare with his prompting, so I left my $36 an hour job dog grooming. I pay for everything for the girls, I pay for groceries, my car payment and insurance payment. A few of the smaller bills. It adds up and I never have anything left over to put into savings. I really want to move into a house for just me and the girls but it’s not a reality now or anytime soon.

So I guess I’m looking for advice from anyone else if they ever got divorced but had to stay living with their partner. What was it like? What rules/boundaries did you set? If we are living together do I qualify for alimony? I imagine child support would only be when we don’t live together anymore. And is there anything else I should know?

Thank you in advance.

I can’t really say this to anyone for real because I know it’s not ideal or whatever. But I’m giving up on telling people how I’m feeling. I’m not giving up on myself or my kids. Just no longer plan to talk about how sad I am. No longer will complain about my husband’s lack of being a parent. Won’t talk about how I want to hurt myself (not kill myself). I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing it anyway. It’s old news. Hell, no one even noticed when I suddenly started wearing only long sleeves when I’ve never worn long sleeves before. So it’s whatever. My village is a verbal village mostly - I don’t have much actual physical support. And my villagers are all busy with their own lives or babies so I’m done bringing them down. No one wants to be around the sad person all the time anyway right? So yeah.

Again I’m not going to kill myself. The opposite. I’m going to fucking fight and endure what I need to for the sake of my girls. I’ve just decided to do it silently now.

So our toilet stopped working due to what we thought was a clog. Had someone come out and look and it turns out a tree root impaled and went through the pipe. Plumber pulled out about six feet of rot total before leaving and saying he couldn’t fix it and we’d have to call someone else. (This was someone sent to us by our home warranty people not someone we called.) Just wondering how screwed we are and what the cost of something like this will be? I figure they will obviously have to dig out and replace the entire pipe.

I’m not really looking for advice. I really just need a place to get this out.

I’m so fucking depressed lately. My LO is six months already so I’m not even sure I can blame it on postpartum still. But everything is so hard. My marriage is falling apart - I basically live with a roommate I can only stand a quarter of the time. I’m overwhelmed trying to split my attention between my baby and my older. I feel like my older kid is seeing such an angry side of me lately and even though I apologize and try to give her one on one time, I feel like I’m failing her at every turn and she’s going to grow to resent me. I was diagnosed with pelvic organ prolapse and I can’t start running again like I did pre-pregnancy - I wasn’t a star athlete by any means but I was having fun and I had goals for training to do my first 10k and that’s just out the window now. I’m overweight and feel disgusting but with the prolapse I’m so scared to do anything because I don’t want to make it worse. So now I’m just obsessively counting calories while trying not to affect my milk supply because baby is breastfed. Throw in working full time while being severely underpaid and extremely stressed and I’m just drowning.

I’m not suicidal. But I am swimming in suicidal ideation right now. I want to die but I also could NEVER leave my girls without me. They’re my reason to keep going. Even still, my brain has gone back to a dark corner and I constantly battle self harming as a way of control (NOT as a way to die).

I have a village. It’s distant and distracted right now, but it’s there. Still, I worry about being a broken record with the people I love and have them grow to get sick of me being a mess all the time. Not to mention my sister just had her first baby and he’s been a HARD baby. But still she handles everything with such grace. She’s got a much more stable village. Her husband is an amazing dad and together they are such great parents. She bounced back and is running again herself. And I’m so happy for her. I love her and I want to see her thrive. But it makes me feel worse at the same time because I want the same things for me and I can’t have them.

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. I just wanted to get this all out somewhere where no one knows me and I don’t have to pretend I’m okay for everyone else’s sake.

Here’s to hoping it all gets better soon. I don’t know. But at least I have my girls. So no matter what I’ll keep getting up each day and trying to do my best for them. 💛

Thanks for letting me rant.

Hi everyone. When I went to my six week appointment everything was fine, no issues. Exam was great. I got the all clear to start working out and begin running again. Just twenty days later I went back to see my OB because I knew something was off and suddenly I had a mild cystocele and rectocele. I was advised to stop running and given a referral to PFPT. That was it.

I’m now six months postpartum. My first PT appointment is end of September (it was so hard to get an appointment. It was originally for December). I’ve just felt stuck because I don’t know what to do while I wait. I just started an estrogen cream two nights a week. My OB had me wait to start since I’m breastfeeding. I’ve begun using the elliptical every night and weight lifting and now I’m paranoid the prolapse is getting worse. I don’t know for sure since I can’t get an OB appointment and I haven’t started PT yet.

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance. If you were a runner prior to prolapse, were you ever able to run again? Or just exercise without fear? Or be able to chase your kids at the park without worrying you might hop off something too high up and cause everything to fall out? I’m just so depressed and worried I’ll never live normally again.

Hi there! I am almost six months postpartum with a slight bladder and rectum prolapse. I’m waiting to start PT (appointment is end of next month) but in the meantime my doctor has just prescribed me Estrace to start using. Just curious if anyone else has used this, what your experience was, if it seemed to help with prolapse, etc. Also I am breastfeeding so curious about that too. Thank you!

Hi everyone! I keep getting recommendations on Instagram for those Primal Queen supplements. They supposedly help with energy, weight loss, libido, etc. All things I could totally use! However I am exclusively breastfeeding. So I was just curious if anyone in here took/takes them while breastfeeding and what your feedback is. Thank you so much!

Hi there! I am four months postpartum and I was diagnosed with a mild cystocele and mild rectocele. I’m waiting to start pelvic PT but the earliest I can be seen is end of September currently. I’m breastfeeding and I know that prevents estrogen from getting to the vagina and therefor the walls are not being supported the way they normally would. I do plan to see my doctor again when I can and ask about an estrogen ointment I can apply now that my baby is a bit older (doctor wanted to wait in case traces got into my milk).

I guess my whole point of posting is - I was getting into running and doing 5ks before I got pregnant. I really want to do that again. I had attempted to start running 6 weeks postpartum and I think that’s part of why I prolapsed so I had to stop. But I miss it. Is there anyone here who runs or jogs with a prolapse and what advice can you offer?