u/Weird-Literature-805

When will the day come when married daughters can celebrate Diwali and other festivals with their own parents too?
I’m specifically asking girls who don’t have a brother, because the obvious patriarchal expectation becomes even more glaring in such families.
Why is it assumed that after marriage, a daughter’s place in her own family somehow changes? Why does she have to justify wanting to spend Diwali, Holi, Navratri or other festivals with the parents she grew up celebrating them with?
And more importantly, why is this choice expected from women but not from men?
Why does a married man get to continue celebrating festivals with his parents without anyone questioning it, while a married woman’s decision to spend a festival with her parents can become a matter of discussion, adjustment or negotiation?
And for families where there is no son, what happens to the parents? Are they just expected to spend every major festival without their daughter because she got married?
Especially for an only daughter, why should marriage mean that she can no longer be an equal part of her own family’s festivals and traditions?
I genuinely want to hear from women who are in this situation:
How do you handle Diwali and other major festivals after marriage?
Do you feel like you actually have a choice about where you spend them?
If you are an only daughter, do you feel an additional responsibility towards your parents?
Have you ever felt guilty for wanting to celebrate a festival with your own parents?
Why is marriage allowed to change a daughter’s place in her own family, but a son’s place remains unquestioned?
Would love to hear honest experiences, especially from women who have no brothers.

I’ve been married for almost two years. My husband and I were college friends first, then dated for several years before getting married. When my husband was a kid, their house was originally a kaccha house with tin shades, with no proper terrace. Before our roka, there wasn’t even a proper ceiling—during rains, water used to leak into the house and my MIL would have to keep buckets around to collect it. Between our roka and wedding, they did some renovation where they removed the tin shades and somehow put in a ceiling through some construction workaround. It was not a complete reconstruction of the house.
Even before we introduced our families, I had told my husband that if his parents were planning to renovate, they should do it before the wedding preparations started, because managing a wedding and renovation simultaneously would be financially, physically and emotionally difficult for everyone. Once they decided to renovate, I again suggested that instead of putting more money into the old house, they should consider moving to a basic 2BHK, especially since they have savings and land. I also specifically asked my husband to request his father to add another bathroom because there was only one, and the bathroom/toilet is right at the entrance and extremely tiny. I’ve literally hit my hand against the old tap while bathing because of how cramped it is.
Even after the renovation, there are still serious issues. The lane is extremely narrow and a car can’t properly enter, the walls are so thick that Wi-Fi barely works from one room to another, there are basic water-storage issues, and there is one portion where the ceiling is literally hanging and my MIL herself tells us not to step in that area because it could fall. I’m not asking them for a luxurious house—just a basic, safe and livable one. They have savings and land, and my husband is also willing to contribute.
My husband and I work in South India while our families are in North India, so whenever we visit our hometown, our time is limited. Earlier, I genuinely wanted to build a relationship with my in-laws and spend time at their house. But after everything that happened during and after our wedding, I no longer feel comfortable staying there. During our last visit, I stayed in my hometown for almost a month but stayed with my parents throughout and didn’t go to my in-laws’ house. They have apparently asked my husband whether I am willing to come there anymore.
One important thing: I am not directly having these conversations with my in-laws. Whatever communication is happening about this is happening through my husband. I have told him my concerns and boundaries, and he is the one speaking to his parents. There has been no direct confrontation or argument between me and my in-laws about the house.
I’ve now told my husband that if they expect me to come and stay at their house, I need a reasonably safe and livable space there. They’ve lived there for decades and are obviously accustomed to it, but I’m new to that environment, and I’m also a working woman. At the same time, whenever we come home, there has been an expectation that if I spend N days with my parents, I should spend N+1 or more days at their house because I’m the daughter-in-law.
I completely understand that it’s their ancestral home and ultimately their choice where they live. But I also feel that I should have a choice about where I stay. I’m not asking for luxury or trying to dictate their lifestyle. I just don’t want to stay in a place where I don’t feel comfortable or safe, especially when there is an alternative that they can realistically afford.
Is this an unreasonable boundary?
P.S. I used AI to help consolidate and organise everything I’ve written because there are a lot of details and I wanted to make the post readable. The situation and experiences described are mine.

Hi girls!
I’m a 30F and I spend a lot of time in Indiranagar it’s kind of become my second home. Every time I’m there, I end up admiring how effortlessly so many women look so put together. Cute outfits, healthy hair, glowing skin… it’s honestly refreshing to see.
It made me realize I’ve never really figured these things out for myself.
I’d love some recommendations:
Where do you usually shop for clothes? (Online/offline, affordable or mid-range)
Any grooming or self-care habits that made a noticeable difference?
Can anyone recommend a really good dermatologist in Bangalore for hair loss?
A little about me: I’ve struggled with self-esteem since I was a kid, mostly because of my body and my hair. I’m quite underweight, and over the last 7–8 years I’ve lost almost 90% of my hair. The weird part is I’ve never colored it or regularly used heat (except once for my wedding), so it’s been really frustrating.
I’ve consulted dermatologists in my hometown over the years, but nothing really worked. Strangely though, ever since I moved to Bangalore, I genuinely feel like my skin and hair like the weather here a lot more. 😅 Maybe it’s the climate, maybe I’m imagining it but they definitely seem happier here. 🧿
Lately I’ve been feeling like I want to invest in myself a little more not to look like someone else, but just to feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin.
Not here to vent or ask for sympathy. Just looking for honest, kind suggestions from women who’ve been through something similar or have good recommendations. If you’ve found an amazing dermatologist, hidden shopping gems, or even small habits that made you feel more put together, I’d love to hear them.
Thank you! 🤍

I am trying to find a Spain jersey for my husband.
We are near Indiranagar. Please suggest a store near by.
I want it for tonight FIFA final.