u/WeirdEqual6867

My beautiful babies Cherry and Ducky
They’re my twins and my reason for waking up in the morning.

I (f29) and him (m33) just went ring shopping on Monday, we also have been facing some health problems on both sides. I’m just curious if things are going to look up this year because I’m not sure how much I can handle.. I love him so much and It hurts me to watch him be in so much pain
Any insight?

This is such a long shot
I’m so curious. We grew up in a house singing a lot of Beatles, sublime, foo fighters, NIN, Metallica, SOAD, all that good stuff

So I’m really at a loss. Plus I was 4 and I was probably making up words completely

I’m just so curious lol

Video is dated May 15th 2002

TW- Illness / Diagnosis / pain

Got really high and we made loaded chili cheese fries with my boyfriend the other night.

This man is sunshine. I’ve never met such an angel of a person before. The type of man whose goal is to make me feel as beautiful and loved as possible, and he does such a good job. The type of man to donate to charity when he gets extra money even though he’s still wearing boxers and pants with holes in them. I’ve never met anyone like him, and I feel so lucky to have this beautiful man as my partner for the past 3 years.
He’s been out of work for 5 month now, they think it’s gallbladder cancer, the doctors are being so fucking weird with the test results, they’re taking so long to give them to us. Seeing him in this much constant pain is breaking my heart. I don’t know how to be strong for him. I’m such an emotional person, it’s all I can think about and of course my mind goes to the worst possibilities of even the impossible.
He asked me the other day if I wanted to choose my engagement ring..
I got so excited but instantly shut down those feelings. What right do I have to be excited and happy when he’s in so much pain.
I know that’s not how he wants me to feel at all I just, can’t help it. I have nightmares everynight about losing him. I just don’t know what to do
My therapist told me to think of myself but It feels unfair.
This all feels so fucking unfair.
How can someone so fucking kind be in so much pain. Why can’t i help him.

EDIT:

thank you everyone for the kind, helpful, words. I’m trying really hard to be the person he needs right now and to stay positive.
Today we’re cuddling, smoking, and watching rocket power. (Smoking is the only thing that makes him feel better right now)
I love this man