We all know there’s a wide range of printed canvas quality and I’m not against the idea. But how bad is it really when it comes to trying to stitch let’s say a medium quality canvas? I’m not sharing the canvases or designer because you’ve all dragged her before for things unrelated to her print quality lol but she has 5-6 canvases that I love for my daughter’s room. I don’t want to spend money for everyone to say I told you so lol
Should I Have Another Notes:
I’m 36, husband is 43, we have one almost two year old daughter
IVF baby, horrible pregnancy that dictated my life for about 5 of the 10 months (severe restless leg syndrome that even neurology couldn’t solve, immediately gone the minute baby was out, never slept and had to quit my job)
Failed induction, severe preeclampsia in labor resulting in somewhat emergency C-section
10/10 postpartum experience. Zero complaints
Extremely capable, hands on and supportive husband, he could be done at one or have another
Looking at exactly a three year age gap between two girls (we know the sex of our embryos)
Financially we are not thriving but not failing. Our daughter is set up for success in the long term and we are comfortable but some weeks are trickier than others with bills. We do wish we could do more with and for our daughter.
We have one more bedroom and room in the SUV for another car seat
Currently dealing with a lot of behavioral issues with our dogs and that’s adding a lot of stress to our life and impacting our daughter (not her safety, don’t worry) and don’t know how another baby would impact them
I don’t want to be pregnant again but if I was 100% on board with a second I could suck it up. I worry if it’s as bad as last time my daughter will seriously suffer for those months and we would have to hire help
I was a career nanny and household manager for 15 years so I know I can handle it, I don’t know if I want to handle it
Oldest daughter and sister of a medically complex sibling that flipped my life upside down at five years old and contributed to a very unhealthy childhood for myself so I know the risks first hand of adding subsequent children and you might not get the super sunshine and rainbows family picture
My husband has zero relationship with his sister who is three years older than him, obviously siblings don’t guarantee friendship
My daughter has three bio cousins who live 20 hours away and are 16-20 years older than her, she has no relationship with them and met them once when she was four months old
We have friends locally but not ones close enough that she will ‘grow up’ with those kids
We plan to homeschool (the kind where she is involved in ALL the things, not the kind where she’s secluded from the world) but I worry homeschooling even with a heavy schedule of things to do and places to go would be isolating for an only child, but I am currently very committed to homeschool
Very small extended family where we live (5 adults besides her parents)
Large extended family 20 hours away but they don’t do much together
If something happened to both my husband and I she would either have to go to my very capable and very hands on (but also aging) parents where we currently live or move 20 hours to live with her godparents who we love and would raise her like their own, their kids are 9 years older than her though
I am really unsure about having a second but I feel so immensely guilty about leaving her alone in this world
I only ever knew I wanted a little girl and I have her and I’m happy, I have no grand vision of my family plan past that
I don’t know if this is normal ‘can I give my first enough of me if I have a second’ and ‘can I love a second as much as my first’ concerns most moms go through or is this ‘I really want to be one and done but I feel guilty and my daughter will not love my choice and I’ll single handedly be the person that set her up for a lonely life’ concerns
Based on all those notes, what do I do lol
Also, these thoughts literally consume me daily. It sucks. But if you’re in a similar place on the fence, know it’s not just you!
Does anyone homeschool their only? I’ve always been fairly confident in my decision to homeschool (child isn’t old enough for an opinion FYI) but I question if that’s still the route I should go if she’s an only.
FWIW, my reasonings for homeschooling are not because we are overly religious, neurodivergent, or I hate public school. I just feel like family time and other activities shouldn’t be an after thought because school hours are now a lot of behavior modification instead of instructional time. In my location children are in school almost an hour and a half longer per day than when I was in elementary school. Also, we live 20 hours away from my husband’s family and friends and homeschooling would provide more time to spend there with those people.
Homeschooling as an only just sounds lonely even though the goal is to fill time with groups, activities, and travel.
We were one and done during my pregnancy and immediately after as well. Awful pregnancy, awful delivery, luckily 10/10 postpartum experience. We have an almost two year old daughter via IVF and have the potential for one more child also via IVF. I’m content with being one and done for mainly self serving reasons but I see plenty of benefits for my daughter. My husband could go either way.
The one thing that hurts my heart is holidays. My daughter has 3 cousins on my husband’s side who are 20 hours away and 15-19 years older than her. My husband doesn’t have a super close relationship with his family so moving closer wouldn’t solve anything. Just one single (probably forever) uncle on my side. Last Christmas my daughter spent the day with 7 adults. My husband and I, my mom and dad (10/10 grandparents), my single brother, and my less than exciting aunt and uncle who aren’t really pleasant. That’s the most depressing Christmas I could possibly think of for a child.
Sure other holidays like the 4th can be spent with friends. But we are big holiday people over here and my heart breaks at the thought of Easter egg hunts, Christmas morning, Thanksgiving dinner, etc. all being so incredibly boring and alone for her.
Any insight from those who have similar family dynamics on how to find peace with the holidays with an only and no family?
Do people not know what Grandmillenial means? Do they just think it’s a FB group for millennial needlepointers? I personally would love a group dedicated to the hydrangeas and coastal crap because that’s my vibe and I thought thats what the GM group would be, but apparently it’s just another general needlepoint group?