u/WesternTumbleweeds

Hi,
I just had a cleaning company in to do a one-time job.
It was a little confusing. They sent me a request for a review and gave me the option of adding a tip (digitally).
On a separate link, I received a bill for the service, and the gratuity. They combined the gratuity and the cleaning charge and charged me tax.
As a customer, I have not seen this -I am in New Mexico.
Are digital gratuities taxable, whereas cash tips just given are just generally accepted?

pwBPD: Son, 35, with BPD comorbid with ADHD, and generalized anxiety disorder.
Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate this forum. I tried a Facebook group for parents with BPD, but there's a lack of privacy there. I think the anonymity here is a good thing, and since we are redditors, we're used to it. Also, hats off to the mods -I've read the sub rules, and the book recommendations. They're so well thought out. I've read thru posts --and yes, I think there's a lot of commonalities between us.
Anyway, I do appreciate everyone sharing. I think we've all had similar experiences with loved ones who have BPD. Sometimes I feel so sad and so uncertain about my own future. Our son told me, "I'm going to be THE ONE who takes care of you when you're old." I can't imagine it, and the idea of it scares me.
Anyone else thing about their old age, and the involvement of your pwBPD in your life?

Dear Old Person,
I have not seen you in decades, yet you call me frequently.
I have never minded, you are a glorious memory of when I was younger, and you were the mentor and breath of fresh air I needed. Besides, everyone needs someone to talk to, especially once your peers start slipping away. Loneliness is real. Listening to others is one way I try to help us all combat loneliness, which is more common than most people think.

Anyway, life has... treated you well. You had the career you wanted, you traveled, you had a fashion wardrobe the envy of others and you gave to the community in the way you wanted. Life lately, has been hard as all your friends have passed away. But now, when you're at a point of great need, you are resistant to accepting the help you not only deserve, but need.

The latest snafu is grocery shopping. You've relied on -let's call him Georg, for 3 years now to unfailingly show up every 3 weeks to take you to 5 stores to get all your food, and your bird seed. And so far -it's worked out. But from your own account, you have a hard time negotiating the aisles, you have never wanted or had an ATM card, you don't do any online shopping because your computer skills are limited to forwarding emails with pictures of animals, and you are increasingly forgetful and that's not because it's dementia, it's because you live in increasing isolation.

But now Georg is in the hospital. Your back up, Ina, is in the hospital too. From what it sounds like, neither is going to come out of this the same. They are... very ill.
And you are out of food.
So for the last two weeks, you call me with long accounts of Georg's health, his wife's, his family issues, and also Ina's problems as well. You go round and round, but the fact is-you don't have any food.
I'm 500 miles away.
I've offered to come up there.
But...

You refuse to let anyone visit to get a baseline of needs.
You refuse to accept Meals on Wheels.
You refuse to let anyone outside those 2 people help you.
You refuse to consider other living arrangements, and you live alone.
You have no HVAC, and in the summer you burn up, and in the winter, you freeze.
I've offered to help you by ordering what you need online, and you've refused.
So I went ahead, and without your knowledge, I had meals sent to you via UberEats. This isn't cheap but it was the quickest way for me to get food to you, and apparently, you told me you gobbled it all up.
Today we had another round of the same conversation, where you refuse to accept help, but we both know... you are starving.
So I'm left with two choices: 1. I call Adult Social Services and ask them to do a wellness check. 2. I call the police and ask them to stop in, and 3. I stop taking your phone calls for awhile just to get a break.
You're stuck in a vicious cycle.
You need help.
You refuse it.
I have to step back. I don't think you understand, how frustrating it is to have this same conversation everyday with you. I'm sorry. I will be back. But for tonight, my phone is on block.