▲ 16 r/3amjokes
“The trouble with quotes on the internet these days is that you never know if they are truly genuine or not”
- Abraham Lincoln
u/WhatchaBrewing — 9 days ago
▲ 56 r/Jokes
What do the movies Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people…
u/WhatchaBrewing — 10 days ago
▲ 173 r/3amjokes
I find that sometimes when I get a song stuck in my head I will unconsciously hum or sing it all day. Today I was singing “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees and my wife got really angry and told me to stop. I thought she was just kidding…
but then I saw her face
u/WhatchaBrewing — 15 days ago
▲ 153 r/3amjokes
Did you hear the news story about the Buddhist Monk who saw the face of Jesus appear in a tub of margarine? When asked for a comment he said…
“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!!!”
u/WhatchaBrewing — 16 days ago
▲ 82 r/3amjokes
When I asked my niece what she wanted for her 5th birthday. She giggled and said “uncle I want pink unicorns and pretty fairies and lots and lots of beautiful rainbows”I smiled and said that will be easy sweetie…
so I gave her some LSD
u/WhatchaBrewing — 22 days ago
▲ 113 r/3amjokes
I went to see my best friend in the ICU. He looked like he had been in a terrible accident but was able to answer me when I asked what happened. Apparently he was banging this lady on her couch when she heard the front door open. So she says “it’s my husband! If you hurry you can use the back door.”
he admitted that he knows now that he should have just ran but it’s not every day a woman makes an offer like that.
u/WhatchaBrewing — 23 days ago
▲ 126 r/3amjokes
What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it.. but they can’t eat it…
u/WhatchaBrewing — 28 days ago
▲ 35 r/3amjokes
At this point of my career I have just about heard it all so it takes a lot to catch me off guard and or crack me up. Recently a 98 year old patient got me good after he told me his age. I’m always curious about people’s longevity so I ask him what his secret is and without missing a beat he says
one time my friend and I sucked each other’s cocks at a sleepover
u/WhatchaBrewing — 29 days ago
▲ 116 r/3amjokes
We’re having beers with a buddy that is not that great with women but somehow still gets dates. So he starts telling us about his last date that got hot and heavy back at her place to a point where she asks him to choke her. A bit shocked he says are you sure you are into that? To which she replies…
“not really but I would rather be dead right now”
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 25 r/3amjokes
I went car shopping earlier today with a couple of my friends looking to get something that’s more comfortable for guys only road trips. So the last salesman says to us that he has an SUV for me that will fit six people with out any problems. I looked him straight in the eye and said…
sadly I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have problems let alone six of them
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 86 r/3amjokes
Today my nextdoor neighbor knocked on my door wearing nothing but a see through nighty asking if they could borrow a cup of sugar and then they winked at me and asked if I wanted to join them for a cup of coffee. No matter what I was feeling inside I knew it was wrong to go so I just yelled out…
Fuck off Jim I’ve got shit to do today!!!
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 64 r/3amjokes
Had a frequent patient named Bob. Bob was born with no arms and ironically loved to tell knock knock jokes. His favourite one that he would tell was…
Knock knock!!!
Who’s there???
Definitely Not Bob…
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 703 r/3amjokes
I made my indigenous coworker laugh so hard he literally started crying. We were chatting about how winter is coming soon when he asked me if I knew why his people hate snow so much and without missing a beat I answered…
Because it’s white and it’s on your land???
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 37 r/3amjokes
My friends and were recently chatting about what type of workouts each of us found to be the best. I mentioned that I would like to do whatever workout Jesus did because he always looked so ripped.
One of friends said it was probably CrossFit. I think he nailed it…
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
After months of nagging from my wife I finally decided to get a hearing test.
What a waste of my time. I mean what am going to do with a Herron Egg???
u/WhatchaBrewing — 1 month ago
▲ 73 r/3amjokes
Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court?
Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls on the other side….
u/WhatchaBrewing — 2 months ago
▲ 39 r/3amjokes
What is the name of an owls favourite band who loves getting head from marine life?
Hootie and the Blowfish… 😛
u/WhatchaBrewing — 2 months ago