u/Whatsyourratiothough

Hi all, after struggling with mysterious big toe injuries and "bad feet" for years I finally went to a foot doctor this spring and got diagnosed with Hallux Rigidus in both big toes and osteoarthritis in both feet. Additionally, because of those conditions I have been dealing with atrophy in my calves, unknown as well.

I've been cycling for about 20 years now- the first 10 or so almost strictly commuting and longer city rides but I also started doing distance rides- gravel and road- and mountain biking over the last several years. I also have had 3 kids since the start of COVID so being able to train and stay in above average shape has been tough. After getting my HR and OA diagnoses, I tried to use those as motivation to push myself to train and get back into cycling events. I signed up for a local gravel event that is in a few weeks- 50 miles but the most climbing I have ever done on a ride. I've been able to do some longer rides- a couple over 40 miles, a few over 30, all with pretty decent elevation- but I am only able to do those rides twice a month with my family commitments.

I've done PT for a while now, it has helped a lot in some ways, but yesterday I did a 43 mile ride with a good amount of climbing and I started having signigicant pain in my lower back (this is common for me), hamstrings, arches of my feet and toes and the most concerning- my calf started really barking at me. I finished the ride but barely. I'm now concerned that I am not going to be able to do the event that I signed up for or that if I do it, I am going to really injure myself.

I'm curious if anyone else has struggled with wanting to get back into events (races, casual, whatever) and has had to navigate the potential for injury and the realities of the condition with their desire to perform and push themselves.

Any insights are appreciated!

I’m looking for a cheap, under $8k, vehicle that can fit 3 car seats and soon 2 car seats and one booster.

This is a secondary family vehicle, we already have an odyssey for our primary hauler and I just need something simple and reliable that can from point A to point B for a few years that is relatively affordable to maintain in it high mileage years. I don’t drive very much, around 5k miles a year, so not looking for anything beyond a functional vehicle.

So far I’ve been looking at Honda accords primarily but I am open to any other suggestions. Thanks!

I picked up a sweet 2016 T5 Premier AWD this spring, 93k miles and seemingly in great shape. I had an independent shop do an inspection before buying and it came back great so I bought it despite limited documented maintenance history.

Long story short, our financial situation has changed a little bit and I'm considering selling the '16 and picking up an '08 3.2 with 157k miles on it for $4-5k. I really don't drive very much- home, kids schools and work are all within a few miles of each other (typically average about 5k miles a year).

Truthfully, I really love my current XC70 and don't really want to sell but we could certainly use the extra money for our monthly budget.

Any thoughts or insight into swapping the '16 for an older, higher mileage xc70?

My mom has been in memory care for just over a year now- it’s been overwhelmingly positive experience and we are all so thankful she is there. She is a widow and lived by herself prior to moving into memory care and we tried for years to get her to move before she was ultimately forced to.

During her last couple of years living by herself I had become her go to person when she needed help and when she wanted to unleash her dementia anger- random calls to “fix” things in her house that weren’t broken, having to run over there at all hours of the day and night, angry calls accusing me of doing things that I didn’t do, hours long conversations about how to use an ATM machine, and so on… it was a lot.

I have 3 young kids, all under six (with the youngest born less than a year ago, after she moved into memory care) and I have only been to visit my mom a few times even though she lives close to me. I just don’t have it in me after the last couple of years trying to take care of her when was still living by herself. I feel guilty that I don’t see my mom more but truthfully, I don’t really want to. She’s not the same person and it’s painful to see her that way even though she is doing well, all things considered (she is safe and healthy, does activities, has as much fulfillment as possible).

I’ve basically made the decision that whatever I have left to give has to go to my kids and a little bit of self care when I can. I wish I could see my mom more and be there for her but I just don’t know how. And accepting that is really hard for me.

There’s been a pretty sharp decline recently and it feels like it’s only a matter of time before she forgets us and can’t recognize us. As hard as it is to say this, I’m also sort of relieved that she is moving out of the middle stage of dementia hell where she had one foot in reality and one in dementia- that was the absolute worst.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this or what I’m looking for here. But this has all been so incredibly hard.

Hey all, We are in the midst of overhauling our monthly finances and restructuring how we approach our budget and have focused on trying to eliminate our credit card debt as fast as we can, which feels very difficult. We are on a very tight monthly budget, we recently had our third kiddo (3 kids under 5 years old) and have had two kids in daycare ($$$) for the last couple of years. During that time we have also had long stretches of either unpaid or significantly underpaid parenting leaves so emergency savings have taken a huge hit. our monthly budget has very little room in it due to our retirement contributions and daycare and more than anything, we just need some room to breathe in the day to day. We have eliminated take out, vacation, all of the extra spending over the last couple of years so lifestyle limitations are not a challenge for us.

Currently, we are in our late 30s, have about $300k in retirement savings across two pensions, two 403bs and a roth IRA with the bulk of those savings in vested pensions. Our current credit card debt is at 13k at 12.65%. The credit card has been used for emergencies over the last several years, not for any frivolous spending and our balance has stayed basically stagnant for a couple years because we can only afford to pay the minimum each month on our tight budget. We unfortunately just don't have a lot of room to put extra money towards the credit card and that feels daunting.

One option available to us is to take a loan from one of our 403bs that we would use to knock out the credit card debt almost completely. The monthly payment would be about the same or less than our current minimum credit card payment:

credit card monthly payment: $270, $140 in interest so only knocking off $130 a month

403b loan: $210 month over 5 years (8% interest, most of that going back into the 403b)

I know the general consensus is to always avoid taking out a loan from your 403b but from what I can tell, that option may save us a significant amount of money right now and allow us to build back up our emergency funds and eliminate our biggest debt much quicker than any other way but of course that would mean that the 403b money would be growing as we pay it back. But since we have a few other, much larger retirement savings, we are wondering if a 403b loan makes sense for our situation.

Any non-judgmental advice is greatly appreciated!