u/WhereIsMyDSword

So I was reading about Jungs version of the cog functions and Si is all about how your impressions of objects create impressions and meaning on the subconscious. And he describes this giving object a mythical charachter even. And that it was a very artistic function because of this less symbolic than Ni but a more dreamy parallel of reality like the fae wild.

Then in modern MBTI it's memory, routine, body awareness, concientousness and duty? And loses anything potentially interesting at all about it. And NGL half of these Si traits feel less a consequence of Si and more of having high extraverted judging

So I know I'm an Fi dom it's super obvious and I mostly relate to Fi dom chars of both types. But I'm confused of the axis because I score about equally for Ne=Ni>Se=Si on cog function tests and identify both so i think I'm miss conceptualizing something. Right now I mostly think I was INFP because I daydream a lot but then I read about high Ni ISFPs and got doubtful.

Reasons INFP

• Good at brainstorming
• daydream and in my head a lot
• word association is easy and takes me on wild tangents far from the original topic
• lots of tangents in conversations and just general love of what my XSXP dad would call jabber.
• bad at sports
• bad at aesthetics like fashion and decorating but wish I was good
• messy room
• indecisive struggle with decisions big and small
• enjoy bring up funny old stories and talking about them
• not aggressive and low risk tolerance
• love fantasy

Reasons ISFP

• Usually I don't actually brainstorm in my creative process usually I have some image in my head that I am trying to make happen. I use Ne if I need more details but mostly care about the initial image even if I let it evolve.
• My imagination feelings and Inspiration has an important visual component where the image, feeling, and meaning are inherently linked and important.
• When stuck for ideas creatively I often end up mashing together a bunch of stuff I read about, saw art wise etc to boil down to one char idea that
• My anxiety is more fixating on a specific bad thing that could happen than many what ifs especially the future
• prefer traditional art to digital because the tactile feel of a brush makes more sense to me than brush settings
• listen to music for atmosphere and energy prefer lyricless which then Invigorates my imagination and daydreams.
• as a kid thought learning about hidden meanings in fiction was teachers ruining things to only ironically but meanings into my inspirations as an adult

then something I'm not sure either category fits I just struggled a lot as a kid before I like really forced myself to get decent at art with having this rich inner world and no way to express it was a big depression low self esteem source for me

EDIT: The council has decided INFP

I actually used to think I was an ambivert but apparently I just happened to have enough shut in time to be excited to do things. And I'm actually an introvert who needs to disappear from people quite a lot.

Now I'm on campus or in the lab 5 days a week at school for most of the day. And last year I got my first GF ENFP and so that means I usually spend a day or both with her on the weekends and if not often my friends want to do something and I don't want to ditch my friends so I do that.

And like I'm greatful for the people in my life but I just want to stay home and talk to noone all day. Just play games watch anime daydream and make art and I don't get a lot of days like that anymore. It's exhausting and I just don't want to do anything. My home life is I. disrepair I used to sort of be able to keep my room clean or make appointments now I have a DR. Dentist and college advisor appointment I've been needing to make for months. and my room is a Chernobyl zone.

I switched to a 4 day work week for the summer but so far that has meant half the time I get dragged out to do something Friday.

idk just a vent cause genuinely no way out of this situation

Basically like identifying judging axis is pretty easy and obvious imo it's just what guides you and how you make decisions. But when I try to think about the perceiving axis I get very confused I get the divergent thinking brainstorming, vs convergent thinking and symbolism thing. But like actually trying to perceive your own perceiving process has observer effect that fundamentally changes the nature of your perceiving. Also doesn't help that every description for percieving functions are so vauge it feels like everyone uses all of them So your just stuck with stereotypes like Se/Ni aggresive and risky and Ne/Si passive.

Likle genuinely how do people type their own percieving

I'm not going to have any I'm just so bored everything feels flat In stuck at work for another 5hours and 20 minutes and I know Id feel less flat and it's go buy quicker If I grab a Celsius from the vending machine.

I need to stay strong It's mostly worth it but today's really rough Im not even tired is the weird thing I just feel so blank, all my musics sounds bland the my work is entirely uninteresting right now.

I'm an INFP through and through but I'm also like good at logic both Te and more so Ti and like am good at stuff like physics, programming, ace attorney, it's just that what dominates my experience of the world is how I feel about things, who am I, what kind of person/life am I wanting to be.

But anyways this leads to this constant struggle of being 100% able to logically understand what the optimal decision is and being simultaneously unable to ignore my emotions that lead me to sub optimal choices that are more true to myself or have better vibes, or better abate that existential feeling. So instead it just becomes me making the suboptimal choice while being fully aware and more than a bit concerned about it but unable to choose differently. Like I'm (AOT spoilers) >!Eren yager but with choosing a subpar college major instead of choosing genocide lol.!<

idk seems to always happen this way when I have to make a decision big or small I start going all in on researching it, how I feel what logically makes the most sense, what they could lead to etc. And then if a big choice I get super depressed and moody about all the conflict between what emotionally feels right and is objectively the right choice.

And then after all this mental energy is wasted I usually just yolo it and do whatever I felt like to begin with. Jealous of other types that can just make the choice lol right now I've been agonizing about what major path to finish my senior year of college with since last semester and just waffling and procrastinating *sigh*

Basically without caffiene I've been getting so sleepy when I try to read books for school I have to read 2 text book chapters for my lab today and combined with being short on sleep I passed out on the 2nd page. Seems today I have to give my self a mini relapse. tis a shame because I had my one caffeinated drink for the week yesterday

At my uni my engineering program and physics are super closely related and honestly I sort of found out I really don't like engineering that much and liked the physics classes much more and because our physics program requires less credits I can take an art minor and graduate at the same time. I don't really want the PhD just like I want to finish college then get some job with work life balance so I can have time for my art and social life.

so I want to make the switch but I'm scared I won't be able to get a job besides mcdonalds tier stuff. I don't care about the job being a physics job I know you need a PHD for that. I just don't want to be getting the same jobs I absolutely despised working before college.

So my goal is to be able to have caffeine once a week. So after my 3 week detox of no caffeine I let myself have a cup of coffee with the fathers day breakfast for the vibe. And OMG my ambient anxiety increased so much and I almost had a panic attack that evening. I can't believe I just let myself be in that state every day and was just used to it. To the point I associated caffeinated beverages with being chill and relaxed.

hopefully green tea will be better in this regard.

So I'm in the summer before senior year of optics engineering undergrad, a bit behind (26) and idk I just kind of ended up in engineering because I'm good at math and science vaguely curious and the mad scientist larp seemed fun because of an anime I watched. And I get good grades to to a mix of natural talent and just being that kind of student. And I do some undergrad physics research mostly to make the most of the college experience and it being kind of interesting.

But I just feel so out of place, other students I'm in the major with have goal companies or grad schools or really any sort of goal for after college related to this. Many other students keep up with things about the field outside of just class stuff. The under graduate research people at the school meetings I have to do for it act like we are so bright and shoe ins for grad school and just other wise deeply passionate people about the topic. My professors think I'm passionate just because I get good grades and put on a cheerful demeanor.

But I feel none of it. I don't hate it's vaguely interesting I like the interesting questions quantum physics class brings up. But like when it's my own time I have a list of things I'd do before thinking about engineering/physics. They just don't make money. I have my first summer undergrad research in photonics this summer it's 40 hrs a week and fairly low stress, and while I hate it far less than any wage slave jobs I've had. The idea of basically doing this but with more drudgery and stress at an actual engineering job the rest of my life is not great. idk I just feel like a fraud wasting opportunities because this is how I am inside.

IDK I guess to put it plainly I have an overwhelming fear of death and illness that no amount of therapy has really been able to fix. I've wanted magic to be real since I was a kid and always get into occult phases about it and then start to feel idiotic because I just can't believe once the hyper fixation wears off. In material consensus reality the only meaning I can find of life is to have fun and enjoy it but the second life gets hard and it's not fun it's no longer enough or sometimes it's going good but the ennui and existential dread creep in.

IDK I wish I could believe and be like consistently practicing and believing witchcraft. Or idk crack some spiritual code in my studies of physics. But my skepticism and general vibe that philosophical and religious thought mostly just enslave people and prevent you from living your life from the fullest always kicks in and stops me.

At this point I just cope by being a cringey chunnibyu mage larper. I just wish i could believe and abate this gnawing feeling. But I am so fundamentally faithless I barely have faith I will make it to the next few years much less in some spirituality that can answer my dread. I just feel like If I could be spiritual in some way and have faith in the supernatural I wouldn't have such shitty mental health

IDK I guess to put it plainly I have an overwhelming fear of death and illness that no amount of therapy has really been able to fix. I've wanted magic to be real since I was a kid and always get into occult phases about it and then start to feel idiotic because I just can't believe once the hyper fixation wears off. In material consensus reality the only meaning I can find of life is to have fun and enjoy it but the second life gets hard and it's not fun it's no longer enough or sometimes it's going good but the ennui and existential dread creep in.

IDK I wish I could believe and be one of those witch girls or one of those kind of cringe modern allan watts style taoist types mostly. Or idk crack some spiritual code in my studies of physics. But my skepticism and general vibe that philosophical and religious thought mostly just enslave people and prevent you from living your life from the fullest always kicks in and stops me.

At this point I just cope by being a cringey chunnibyu mage larper. I just wish i could believe and abate this gnawing feeling. But I am so fundamentally faithless I barely have faith I will make it to the next few years much less in some spirituality that can answer my dread. I just feel like If I could be spiritual in some way and have faith in the supernatural I wouldn't have such shitty mental health

New to the game but not DND and never played a cleric before in general sort of inspired to try because I really liked the darksouls cleric lore and whitemage in FF14. I kind of want to play sort of a normal cleric if that makes sense since I haven't done much with the class. So a mix of support magic, tanking/melee, and radiant damage.

For deity I'm thinking either ellestrae or corellan larethian because I like art gods(I wish sune was in the game). Or maybe Selune because I heard it gets the most dialouge. Also I'm doing dark urge for my first play through at the recommendation of a friend.

I don't want to multiclass but might dip a level or 2 in something for longsword proficiency if I choose Ellistrae because I accidentally spoiled myself about her having a sword.

Anyways choosing between domains

Life- I like the heavy armor proficiency so I can be tanky. And a heal that I don't have to burn spell slots on sounds nice. Also could be the classic frontline mace shield heavy armor cleric.

Light-Fireball, channel divinity is like extra fireball, but only medium armor so dex instead of strength, so i lose my ability to melee well unless I grab a good finesse weapon proficiency

I'm quitting caffiene almost at the end of week 2 or week 3 if you don't count the one day i screwed up and had an e drink. I'm struggling hard with my ADHD symptoms lately without the caffeine even though most of the withdrawal is behind me. It's just getting so hard to sit through something like my research work unless the conditions for hyper focus are met. I'm taking so many walks around the campus to a point that is probably excessive. Without music I feel to listless with music I feel to elevated and the daydreams distract me.

Initiating any tasks feels burdensome. My sisters guinea pig that I was supposed to care for this weekend hasn't had her cage cleaned once... I'm more hyper, my thoughts feel gooier and more random intrusive daydreams/random distracting emotions with no discernible cause.

Just starting caffeine again isn't an option as I stopped due to physical issues i was having with caffeine consumption. And I don't want to see and ADHD psychiatrist because adderall was messing me up worse than caffiene and I don't really trust them. And on the other hand I like this way of existing meditation feels better, sleep is better, I'm not addicted to reddit front page anymore because it's all to boring, and i can focus on things I actually feel excited to work on like my art of videogames.

Any advice? I just want a tea while i work on stuff so badly...

I'm at week 2 of quitting and even though my acute withdrawals are gone. I feel plenty energized when there is something I want to do like art or video games I am absolutely struggling with my summer research for school. Like some parts where I actively know what I'm doing and want to do it I lock in and feel alert but then when I start having to slog through documents or whatever I just get super distracted and/or just start to feel like falling asleep or zoning out. Plus even with the parts that are going without this slog feeling just the sheer amount of time(5x8hours /week) causes me to get bored and mostly be thinking about when it's over and struggle to initiate experiments. I haven't had this degree of problem with similar environments back when I used caffeine regularly.

Right now I don't exactly have a lot of accountability but I'm kind of concerned for next year when I'll hopefully have some job job that's less chill and probably more boring. Like even on caffiene I struggled to keep up at my wagie jobs to the point I washed out of 2 of them. I'm scared I'll land my first STEM job and blow it because I can't lock in and produce enough to be competitive without drugging myself. Like I 100% understand the argument that it's morally shitty to take a drug that mostly just makes you a better wage slave but part of me feels like it's like being the one athlete who isn't doping when everyone else is. And I'm always hearing how you have to be competitive now to get anywhere

I am past the acute phase with a little over a week post caffeine so I don't feel tired anymore just from lack of caffiene. But whats weird is I am just straight up less debilitated by being tired and missing sleep in general. Like before bed time would come because I'd crash from caffeine and it sort of built a sleep rhythm in. Like at night I have all this stuff I want to do and without the fatigue from lack of caffeine I struggle to stop myself from working on art or playing games when I should be sleeping because I have to wake up for work. And then i keep waking up a lot in the latter part of my sleep on top of that(probably due to the sun coming out so early rn).

Like it's weird because I don't really feel wrecked by the lack of sleep like before and feel fineish but like objectively am spacier and such from the lack of sleep.

Anyone else have this happen?

26F I just finished my junior year as a physics major art minor. I have no idea what to even try to prepare to do after college. Like I like physics but not enough to devote the next 6 years of my life to it and I'm low key tired of homework after my undergrad like I've been at it 6 years and once I graduate I'll be 27 still living with parents and minimal work experience.

Anyways I have no idea where this brings me. What I want most is just to maximize my time not working because honestly what makes me happiest is like my art and my family friends and girlfriend so thats what I want to build my life around. But like I tried the dream of going pro artist thing, It's literally the only thing in my whole life I've been able to self motivate and I grinded from garbage tier to fairly good but not pro tier. I then did an art major at my community college but burnt out so hard I barely touched art for 2 years and thats how I ended up in physics because I've always been naturally good at science and math and found physics the most intriguing.

outside of school resume wise I do undergraduate research. and I did a research internship at my community college more focused around ecology. IDK how I feel about lab work on one hand I like it on the other hand stuff like using the lasers in my physics lab makes me anxious and I'm scared of damaging my eyes at some point if I do it long term since I'm kind of accident prone.

and my work experience is that one ecology research lab that i did well in, a retail cashier job that lasted like 5 months that I quit after having a big crash out in front of the customers because it was eroding my sanity every day(I can't do customer service), and a fast food summer job where I never got taken off the training shift because I sucked that bad. The latter two I basically began to dread so much I barely slept on work nights because it just meant work came sooner.

Anyways i have no idea what to do with this lab tech seems like it might be okay if I can find a lab without to much occupational hazard. Public school teacher is out because you need a masters degree in my state, and i don't feel comfortable teaching high school or working with minors because I'm gay and all it takes is one crazy parent to make an accusation to mess up my life and like kind of traumatized from public school and getting bullied there tbh.