u/Which-Ad9566

I spent my teenage years trying to make it in music. For as long as I can remember this was all I had ever wanted. I spent the last few years in various music scenes and made good connections and some decent progress but I eventually came to the conclusion that maybe it's not going to work out. I seriously neglected my health during this time and I made some bad choices with substances and the toll it all put on my mother was not right and I still feel guilty about it to this day.

Since October last year I got a full time job working in retail because I realised I needed to start taking things more seriously and have stability in my life. I have stayed committed and I always try my hardest and I am a good worker. I have also tried to be there for my mother as much as I can and help her with anything she needs.

While I'm happy I have stability in my life I do feel as if I have completely lost myself. It feels similar to an ego death the in the way I do not know who I am anymore. I have been trying to figure that out the last few months but I've had no luck. I can't ask any friends for advice either because it seems as soon as I tried to get my life on track nobody cares anymore to check up which has left me feeling pretty lonely going through the motions with nobody to talk to and having my only socialisation being at work where I can't even act like my true self there.

My plan is to move to Australia from the Uk in October for work. I feel like I need a new start with new people and a new environment. I don't know how things will turn out but I'm going to try my best to meet new people and hopefully find myself along the way. I really just want to feel fulfilled more than anything in the world. I also hope I can find a job better than the one I have now and I am definitely willing to go back to education so that can be achieved!

It would be interesting to know what you guys would do if you was in my shoes... Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read this.