u/Whole_Necessary2040

When I look at videos online people talk about regular checks on baby's development etc. But the only time they last checked was at 8 weeks by the GP? Is it normal no one checks on her after that?

We're monitoring her weight ourselves at home with a baby scale. She's 5.5m.

Would you inly go to the GP if there was an issue?

We live in UK and about to get married. I've got about £150k, most of which I'm building really for her anyway. He has £700k so ok financially.

In my home country most goes to the child if one dies, but here almost everything goes to the partner. I find that odd, I want to work to give her the best start in life.

He got upset when he heard this, and I don't understand why. He said what if something happened to him, but he has money? And what if she turns out bad and wastes it, but by then I can just change the will?

What do people think?

update: she's 5.5m

Partner called my OTT and annoying a few times this week. He thinks it's my fault baby is fussy and needy.

I'd appreciate imput from other parents on whether I should change anything that I'm doing. I siggested to him to ask the GP and health visitor again if there's something wrong with her or me.

I'll try to detail a typical day:

- 6:30 - she wakes up. I change her, put her in her cot next to me to play, and I wash the dishes, do bins, make breakfast. Then take her to the bathroom with me, so she can see me. Then in a room so I can do a bit of exercise, while she can see me and look at a toy. This lasts 1h.

Then I put her on the playmat. Quickly she makes upset sounds, so I sit next to her, and give her a new toy if she gets bored with them. I admit most of the time I'm on my phone/Internet, but don't allow her to look at it.

Then, feed, nap 1h. Then again play mats. If I need to do chores I put her in the cot, or leave her there, and say hello when she looks for me, or talk her through what I'm doing.

I take her for a 1h pram walk so I can rest and listen to music, and exercise.

Then a bath.

For my lunch, dinner, I put her in the cot and show her books while I eat and watch youtube. She can't hear/see screens.

Rest is similar, her on playmats, I give her toys, do tummy time, help her sit up to play. Or walk her around the house or garden a lot.

At 4pm I do the dishes and bottles again.

My partner works in the living room 10-5:30 so he does see her a lot.

At 7pm he takes her until 12:30.

I sort of criticised him a few times that he'd only play with her for 20min, then put her watch TV with him, or put her in the cot to get to sleep when she's clearly l9oking after him to play. Plus if she slept thrn she'd wae up at 5am and I'd barely sleep.

But point is, whenever shes upset a bit, I most of the times immediately go to her to e.g. give toy back or another toy, play with her, calm her down etc.

So he thinks this made her so needy.

In my mind I should try to keep her happy as much as I can, until maybe 1y old.

She was around 75th percentile, at 7.2kg. Grew quickly that at 4m we had to get her the 6-9m onsies.

But now she's stopped putting on weight? And getting close to 60th percentile. Is this normal for do long?

She eats 800-950ml per day. Frequent meals every 2-3h. She's crazy energetic, and overall seems fine. She had a phase of forgetting how to open her mouth for the bottle, but ok ish now. Poops every 2-3 days.

So here is the situation:

- I and my mum are both UK citizens living here, both born in Romania and citizens there too.

- I own half a home here with large mortgage, higher income. She's on low income, rents, nearly no savings.

- she bought her mum's home 10y ago in Romania, before she had passed. Not sure but probably paid nothing at the time.

- for 7y she's lived in UK

- she wants to sell the house and buy here. It's around £390k

- tax in Romania is 3% on property sales.

- she'd normally have to pay CGT here pro rated to tine as resident.

Q: how can she pay less tax here?

Option 1: What if she gifted it to me, I sell it, and buy a home for her to live in here? Any tax then?

(Just to say this is unappealing as I don't want to get involved in her money problems, bur just an idea)

Other options?

Since having a baby I've started waking up around 1:30am more. So basically realised that most nights he watches porn, or something similar on his computer. I sheepishly mentioned around it and he didn't say no.

I always knew he'd go to bed really late. He said he has trouble sleeping. I thought he was playing games, but I guess it's also the time I'd normally sleep so thats when he can do it.

He also always locks his computer so I have no idea what he watches or why he keeps it so private. This is something else that's made me trust him less, more so as obviously not knowing what he hides makes my brain just imagine the worst...

Last month I tried to make time, even if tired, to have more sex together. But apparently even with this, on days we do have sex, he'd still watch porn.

I'll be honest, I was always disgusted by porn. Had a mix of curiosity so I looked a bit every now and then, but at the same time I hate it. Then again I did like some other bdsm things, but somehow not porn. I guess this is why I only had the courage to try sex at 26...was always scared of it, and tbf in the end the first times I made really bad decisions and were horrible and sometimes dangerous.

I'm also super insecure and hate my body, and I know he probably still keeps old photos or videos of past girlfriends. And my mind of course goes to questions like why? Does he still look at them? Does he prefer Asians like his old gf? what is he hiding so desperately from me? Now I'm home with the baby instead of busy with work I guess my mind just has too much time to overthink. And somehow it's more so as we're due to get married in a month.

Logically I should just not care, everyone is entitled to some privacy. Most men watch porn apparently in UK. He in the end stayed with me so probably likes me. We do have good intimacy...although tbf he finds it difficult to come which I'm guessing is from the frequent porn.

But then I feel so upset about this, I just don't want to look at him the days after I've noticed it, and feel weird like not wanting to have sex with him. Like now, I'm horny, there's time, but I don't want to initiate it. But I try to act it out as if it's all good as much as I can.

I need to get over this, but seems to be getting worse the more I notice it at night.

This feels like more of a rant given I have no one to talk to...I guess anyone had similar issues?

I just don't get it? Does anyone undesirable why this is happening?

I thought surely if inflation is due to be going up this would as well?

She's fully bottle fed.

She's always been a bit difficult to feed during the day as she gets super distracted. If we go outside she just won't eat. She used to eat a little every 2h on the dot. In the last month she started every now and then eating every 3h.

So for the last week I'd say she's been getting slowly more difficult to feed. She started refusing the bottle, and it seems she started now eating every 3-4h (finally!) although only around 120ml.

And suddenly for a couple of days she's started to not open her mouth. Even when just waking up from a nap, sleepy, she refused to open her mouth for the bottle, slowly started to cry from hunger. I quickly shoved it in and she started drinking.

What's going on? Why is she not opening her mouth? What can we do?

I should say she still eats anything she can constantly. The only odd thing is a few days ago she sort of forgot to do things suddenly. She forgot how to grab toys, how to chew them, how to roll on her side and she was very frustrated. It only lasted a few days and today she's back to normal...apart for this feeding issue.

I've just tried a new instructor and his car is old. Is that an issue? I can tell compared to my prior instructor who had a mini, that the steering and gas are lighter and it does feel old if that makes sense. We have a seat Leon which is 6y old.

He is cheaper at £35. I can see from his photos he probably sold his old 2020 car for this one last year. As instructor my Keston with him was OK. Although I've messaged fir another lesson already and no reply after a day yet.

Should I keep trying other ones? My other tester lesson is with someone for £50... (London)

update: thanks all! I was also thinking this might be a better way to learn :) let's see if he has time though

Been together nearly 6y, have a 5m baby. Sex life is more difficult now because of the baby, but we still are back at 2/3 times per week, although less than prior 4x. But he's still affectionate and seems to still be interested.

I knew from the start he said he had issues falling asleep, and he'd go to bed at 2:30-3 usually while I go sleep early. I always thought it was due to being a bit addicted to gaming or Reddit.

But since the baby I've started waking up going downstairs around 1am, and caught him unfortunately a lot. I try to not go in the living room as such if possible, and I have no idea what he watches.

He always has been very protective about his computer and phone and I'm not allowed on them. I know he probably has photos of exes but not sure what else. Not going to lie, I was always curious what could possibly be on there that he always locks it immediately or quickly changes what he's looking at at night when I come downstairs.

I know it's also weird to me as I don't like porn. I've watched maybe a handful of times in my life. I'm no prude though...I let's say have done my own share of more unusual things in the past, but before we met.

I tried to gently laugh about it, or mention I'm curious but obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. Feels weird not knowing this side of him, or what if anything he's hiding.

Anyone else had this experience?

My employer gives me 6m full pay for my maternity leave.

My mum insists that using SPL I could somehow get paid more my salary after. I don't see how this is possible if my partner doesn't get more fully paid months than me?

Can anyone confirm?

I don't know why I'm posting this...maybe for others who are facing similar issues.

Only had her for lessons since March, and she was so nice...I think she was mostly good at teaching. And nice to chat to...

But from the start she was 15min late, then 30..and today she only messaged she was on her way after 40min! And I finally got proper upset and messaged her it's done.

Now back to looking for a new person. And I wish I could've found a female instructor but seems impossible...or someone with the same car...

Feels almost like braking up with someone, it's so odd. I guess she got me through the horrible first fear of driving. And I had started to trust her that she'd keep me safe if needed on the road.

This is my fault I think. For over a month I stopped changing her during the night, between 11:30 to 6:30, so she wouldn't fully wake up and I could sleep. (She wakes up for food every 2h). update: ok apparently she had poo last night and wasn't changed for 4h so that might be it instead...

It was fine but suddenly this morning she has a mild rash.

I want to do everything possible to fix it quickly.

So far I've started her on using Bepanthen cream after each clean, and given her a bath which we will do daily.

1. we've started using shampoo on her for a week now, can we continue using it? Thinking it gets in the bath after a bit
2. how much nappy free time and when to do it?
3. any other tips?