u/WillsPaladin07

Reddit suggested I post this here.

Hi, first time posting on here. A little nervous. Sorry this is extremely long but I feel like context and details are important.

For context, I'm 20f. Extremely sheltered since my teenage so I'm socially behind my peers but academically I'm doing great in college (I live at home, mom forced me to join a close vicinity college). My mom never wanted me do this degree so she'll never be proud of me.

More context: my mom is extremely controlling, overbearing, and delusional and constantly micromanages me. Some insane rules she has:

•Curfew of 6 p.m. She doesn't like when my friends overstay that and she doesn't let me go out post 6, wants me home at 6 at the most 7. She picked me up from a friend's forcefully at 7 once when we were working on college assignment stuff.

•She doesn't like me going to a friend's house at all (she doesn't allow but I sneak out anyway).

•I don't have house keys. She'll lock me up in the house when she's going out and I'm at home. If I come home while she's not at home, I have no way to get in and I'm forced to wait outside.

•She'll berate me and force me to sleep if I stay up post 12 am. Mind you I'm in college.

•She hates my friends and I can tell. No sleepovers allowed even now.

• she forbade from going for morning walks in my locality (even with friends) because apparently it's too unsafe.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. She has a lot of insane rules and she's lonely with no friends and pretty much hates my dad so she latches onto me for emotional support.

Please don't judge me, I know it sounds ridiculous. I'm really trying my best here to adjust everything. I'm an only child in a dysfunctional nuclear family. I realised how bad the enmeshment was only into my late teenage and covid took away my early teenage, forcing me to live with my family (especially mom) 24/7.

Now for the actual incident:

Today I had plans with my friend at 1 30p.m. (me and friend were actually going to watch epic the musical with her brother. It's 2½ hours but I explain stuff and talk during it so it nears atleast an extra hour, and my friend had different plans at 5 30. Mom didn't know this cuz obviously she doesn't want me going to her house \[she literally lives 5 minutes away\], we made up some lies that friend was just coming to my area to hangout.)

We had to go meet my aunt today, that was mom's plan. Mom said we'll go around 11:30- 12. I had informed my mom YESTERDAY that I have plans at 1:30-2 pm the second she told me about her own plans.

I woke up at 11:30, got ready and had breakfast quickly and even did additional chores. It was around 12 30 by then (if it hadn't been for the chores WHICH SHR ASKED ME TO DO, we could've easily left by 12.) Mom took her sweet time getting ready, she rested while I was doing chores. Which is ok ofc, but she was ready by 1: 15 pm. We reached my aunt's place at 1: 30 p.m. as a result.

Now two of my relatives live there. We met the 1st relative first for about 10 ish minutes then went to my aunt's. we stayed there till 2. I was getting restless because I had other commitments and I was already late because I'd told my friend I'll be there at 2 at the very maximum.

My mom decided that was the best time to buy cake for me and my friend. **We're already running late.** Jesus. That makes us reach home at 2:15, much later. Then my mom starts insisting we stay and eat at home. She spoke infront of my friend that it was no big deal that we were late without a single crease of guilt on her face. Wtf???

I left and had a good time watching the musical. But when I went home, the second I stepped inside mom blew up on me saying I ruined her plans and she wanted to stay at aunt's more. Said it wouldn't have been a big deal if I compromised my time with my friend because she doesn't meet my aunt frequently.

She got mad at me because she was late to her own plans and I wanted to stay committed to my plans and not disrespect my friend's time either. I mean wtf. Mom expects me to be home by 6, doesn't let me go out, and she's still mad after she was late to her own plans. She disrespected my time as well as my friend's time crunch.

I just don't get it. I blew up on her and screamed at her too, saying she can't have everything she wants all the time. We fought a lot and she just started saying she'll slap me and that I'm stupid and unwise, lazy and indisciplined, how she's sick of me and all the hoopla. She refused to even acknowledge her mistake or understand my point, she just misinterpreted me (not the first time she's done this).

I'm also going through a rough post break up phase that hurts so much. Mom doesn't know I was in a relationship because of obvious reasons. She hated my partner when I introduced them as just a friend too. So only distractions work, I can't be myself and experience the grief at home but then my mom acts like this, it hurts so much because I can tell she doesn't care about me in a true sense. I'm just her daughter for her, not a person.

I'm so passionate about art and mass media analysis but mom will never understand that. She's a shell of a human and I'm exhausted of her infantilizing me at every step.

I've felt at my lowest today. It even scared me how much I practically broke after the fight today. I don't know if it'll get better. Not really looking for advice, please just tell me I'm not overreacting because I'm so tired of fighting and feeling guilty for such trivial things.

Tl;dr- mom got mad because she was late to her own plans and I wanted to stay committed to my plans, which I had already informed her about well in advance.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Hi, first time posting on here. A little nervous. Sorry this is extremely long but I feel like context and details are important.

For context, I'm 20f. Extremely sheltered since my teenage so I'm socially behind my peers but academically I'm doing great in college (I live at home, mom forced me to join a close vicinity college). My mom never wanted me do this degree so she'll never be proud of me.

More context: my mom is extremely controlling, overbearing, and delusional and constantly micromanages me. Some insane rules she has:

•Curfew of 6 p.m. She doesn't like when my friends overstay that and she doesn't let me go out post 6, wants me home at 6 at the most 7. She picked me up from a friend's forcefully at 7 once when we were working on college assignment stuff.

•She doesn't like me going to a friend's house at all (she doesn't allow but I sneak out anyway).

•I don't have house keys. She'll lock me up in the house when she's going out and I'm at home. If I come home while she's not at home, I have no way to get in and I'm forced to wait outside.

•She'll berate me and force me to sleep if I stay up post 12 am. Mind you I'm in college.

•She hates my friends and I can tell. No sleepovers allowed even now.

• she forbade from going for morning walks in my locality (even with friends) because apparently it's too unsafe.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. She has a lot of insane rules and she's lonely with no friends and pretty much hates my dad so she latches onto me for emotional support.

Please don't judge me, I know it sounds ridiculous. I'm really trying my best here to adjust everything. I'm an only child in a dysfunctional nuclear family. I realised how bad the enmeshment was only into my late teenage and covid took away my early teenage, forcing me to live with my family (especially mom) 24/7.

Now for the actual incident:

Today I had plans with my friend at 1 30p.m. (me and friend were actually going to watch epic the musical with her brother. It's 2½ hours but I explain stuff and talk during it so it nears atleast an extra hour, and my friend had different plans at 5 30. Mom didn't know this cuz obviously she doesn't want me going to her house [she literally lives 5 minutes away], we made up some lies that friend was just coming to my area to hangout.)

We had to go meet my aunt today, that was mom's plan. Mom said we'll go around 11:30- 12. I had informed my mom YESTERDAY that I have plans at 1:30-2 pm the second she told me about her own plans.

I woke up at 11:30, got ready and had breakfast quickly and even did additional chores. It was around 12 30 by then (if it hadn't been for the chores WHICH SHR ASKED ME TO DO, we could've easily left by 12.) Mom took her sweet time getting ready, she rested while I was doing chores. Which is ok ofc, but she was ready by 1: 15 pm. We reached my aunt's place at 1: 30 p.m. as a result.

Now two of my relatives live there. We met the 1st relative first for about 10 ish minutes then went to my aunt's. we stayed there till 2. I was getting restless because I had other commitments and I was already late because I'd told my friend I'll be there at 2 at the very maximum.

My mom decided that was the best time to buy cake for me and my friend. We're already running late. Jesus. That makes us reach home at 2:15, much later. Then my mom starts insisting we stay and eat at home. She spoke infront of my friend that it was no big deal that we were late without a single crease of guilt on her face. Wtf???

I left and had a good time watching the musical. But when I went home, the second I stepped inside mom blew up on me saying I ruined her plans and she wanted to stay at aunt's more. Said it wouldn't have been a big deal if I compromised my time with my friend because she doesn't meet my aunt frequently.

She got mad at me because she was late to her own plans and I wanted to stay committed to my plans and not disrespect my friend's time either. I mean wtf. Mom expects me to be home by 6, doesn't let me go out, and she's still mad after she was late to her own plans. She disrespected my time as well as my friend's time crunch.

I just don't get it. I blew up on her and screamed at her too, saying she can't have everything she wants all the time. We fought a lot and she just started saying she'll slap me and that I'm stupid and unwise, lazy and indisciplined, how she's sick of me and all the hoopla. She refused to even acknowledge her mistake or understand my point, she just misinterpreted me (not the first time she's done this).

I'm also going through a rough post break up phase that hurts so much. Mom doesn't know I was in a relationship because of obvious reasons. She hated my partner when I introduced them as just a friend too. So only distractions work, I can't be myself and experience the grief at home but then my mom acts like this, it hurts so much because I can tell she doesn't care about me in a true sense. I'm just her daughter for her, not a person. I'm so passionate about art and mass media analysis but mom will never understand that. She's a shell of a human and I'm exhausted of her infantilizing me at every step.

I've felt at my lowest today. It even scared me how much I practically broke after the fight today. I don't know if it'll get better. Not really looking for advice, please just tell me I'm not overreacting because I'm so tired of fighting and feeling guilty for such trivial things.

Tl;dr- mom got mad because she was late to her own plans and I wanted to stay committed to my plans, which I had already informed her about well in advance.

Thank you for hearing me out.