u/Witch_RestingFace

Hello! I'm a 21 F turning 22 this year on September, and if you're wondering why my post title is like that. Well, it's because that's my life right now.

Everyday, I'm scared and anxious. Why? I'm 21 turning 22 this year and I'm still going to finish one last year of highschool after I dropped out last year because of a failed suicide attempt. I repeated multiple time In high school and now i decided to finish only highschool and no longer go to college.

Why? First, my mom is getting old as she's a single parent who should stop worrying over me by her age. Second, she needs to save money for her future surgery because she has a pacemaker and she would need to have the batteries replace in the future. Third, I'm a slow learner and very stupid (I believe I shouldn't be stupid, just lack common sense on certain areas because of the lack of interaction with other people and experience) and I would be only wasting my mom's money if I don't do well in college and might end up repeating.

So, I decided to just finished highschool and I'll be homeschooled for the last grade of senior highschool after last year mayhem. Though it is my choice to not go to college, I am also terribly afraid and anxious everyday

My country prefer people who has college degree, there are job post that does accept highschool graduate that doesn't required experience but I still get rejected.

I keep trying but nothing happens, there are only a few reply of rejection and most is probably ignored and doesn't get reply anymore. Even so, I still keep applying until I decide to stop because I was getting severely depressed again. I would check my email and would subconsciously go to websites to apply but stopped myself immediately because I keep telling myself to give myself a break on applying because I was getting obsessed with applying.

Until now I panicked constantly because I started to imagine I won't get a job and I would end up homeless (thankfully, my mother wouldn't let that happen) but still! I can't rely on my mom forever! What do I do?

I'm self studying progamming and looking for free online courses for UI/UX design but I keep feeling doubtful and my mind is full of negative thoughts that I wouldn't get a job, I'll be homeless, and I'll end up on the street! And that all because I'm stupid and slow!

What should I do? Am I doing anything right? Or am I doing everything wrong?

Any advice or suggestions is welcome as I'm desperate

Hello, I am here to ask for advices from experienced people who already went through a lot!

You see, I am 21 turning 22 this year and I am only a highschool graduate in the Philippines. And as you know or might not know, in the Philippines...when you only finished highschool and never mad it to college, your fucked 🥲😊

Why? Because companies in the Philippines are strict and they prefer people who actually graduated from good universities and has bachelor degrees and etc.

So, for me...I am truly and very fucked, I keep telling myself my life isn't over yet and everything will be okay. So, right now I am with my family and is thinking of doing free courses online with free certificate and probably try to accumulate experience if I am given an opportunity.

I am actually studying HTML, CSS, and Now JavaScript, I haven't really started with JavaScript but I will, and I will also start doing the free courses I find for UI/UX design.

Now, what I am wondering is if UI/Us design can be done remotely or WFH...I think they could be done at home but I'm not sure yet because I don't have experience of working yet and all. So, I'm actually terrified I'm making a big mistake...also I have severe anxiety with getting in contact with people because I am very anti-social and introverted that I forgot how to make friends 🥲

Anyways, if there is any advices from well experience people out there, I would really be happy to hear any advices or experience you have because I am completely lost!

Hi! I'm 21F looking for a writing partner or partners to help keep me accountable, brainstorm, and cheer each other on. I'm pretty new to writing, but I have a couple of book ideas I want to write and am currently working on world-building and character building. I'm a bit shy to share my writing at first, but I'd love a partner I can comfortably share ideas with, talk character arcs, and critique or exchange advice once we get to know each other a bit.

Genre(s): Dark Romantasy (including Omegaverse and Reverse Harem/Why-Choose), Dark Psychological Thrillers, High-Concept Sci-Fi/Cosmic Horror, and Historical Military LGBTQ+ Romance.

Goals/expectations/commitment: Regular communication, sharing goals, discussing ideas, and cheering each other on. Would prefer an open communication style (we message each other and the other person responds when they can) rather than set times to meet but open to both!

Writer experience/level: Anyone! Whether you are completely new just starting your journey or an experienced writer who doesn't mind helping someone learn the ropes, I'd love to connect. As long as you love deep world-building and character dynamics, we'll get along great.

Max size: 3 to 5 people only (wanting to keep it a small, cozy group)

Meeting place: discord

If interested you can DM me or post below

Hello, I am going through a ton of shit right now and I am trying my best to control myself from committing a crime.

I haven't sleep right for the last couple of days and it is messing me up very bad. I am someone with severe depression or clinical severe depression based on how badly the symptoms I am showing because I don't have a psychiatrist and I can only help myself completely alone on getting better and making my life better as well.

So, I am oversleeping too much those days and recently, my mom got pissed over me not moving immediately to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher when the dishwasher still have clean dishes inside as my older sister hasn't put the away. I haven't been helping inside the house lately even when I basically only stay at home as I have no job and is struggling with untreated depression, finding myself, and trying to learn HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and free beginner course for UI/UX Design.

Also, I am the person that is mostly doing the chores since I was a teenager, like I clean my mom's bedroom, my bedroom, the living room and the kitchen. Thankfully I don't have to clean my sister's bedroom as she doesn't like her stuff being moved and the bathrooms are one of my older sister's chores.

Anyways, I can't be lazy because I am basically the FUCKING maid of our home and is the one getting ordered around. And I am sick of it! So, even if she's angry for such a bullshit reason...I didn't and won't apologize because she would expect me to apologize like what I do before. Even if it isn't my fault...I have to fucking apologize!

And so, there is a cold silent war in my own home. The only thing she would even talk about towards me when she opens her fucking mouth is to critized me and tell me why didn't you clean this? Why are you so dumb even at this age?

And again, I haven't been sleeping right and I didn't sleep the whole night as well because I slept the whole afternoon until at 9 in the evening. So, I am sleep deprived right now as I am forcing myself to stay awake until evening to reset my sleep schedule. But I am in a really FUCKING bad mood because of my sweet dear mother.

Making me lose Interest in studying and I am just overall FUCKING pissed that I want to end her life and my misery.

So, what is your advice on how not to unalive someon? Also, don't tell me that I am a horrible person to feel murderous towards my mother. She is a horrible mom and parent, especially if you knew what she does to me and my sister.

She literally told me straight to my face that she is unlucky to have me and my sister as her children, she said I used my mental health as an excuse to avoid my responsibilities (Which is a enormous bullshit, by the way), she called me a slut because I was always on the phone talking to my first male best friend that I have for a while because I was homeschooled and I basically didn't have friends for a long fucking time (Unfortunately that male friend ghosted me), she called me stupid million times, blames me for everything little thing, she raided my room twice after my failed suicide attempt. There is a lot more but j unfortunately forgot it because she just said and did a lot of things...like drag me from the front door to my bedroom using my hair as she dragged me when I was a teenager.

She did quite a lot and I never fought back, even verbally fought back. So, it is bad for me to feel murderous towards her?

So please, before you give me your precious time to give me an advice, I am not a bad daughter and I am basically the best kid my mom could ever FUCKING get.

Hello, I am here to ask for advices from experienced people who already went through a lot!

You see, I am 21 turning 22 this year and I am only a highschool graduate in the Philippines. And as you know or might not know, in the Philippines...when you only finished highschool and never mad it to college, your fucked 🥲😊

Why? Because companies in the Philippines are strict and they prefer people who actually graduated from good universities and has bachelor degrees and etc.

So, for me...I am truly and very fucked, I keep telling myself my life isn't over yet and everything will be okay. So, right now I am with my family and is thinking of doing free courses online with free certificate and probably try to accumulate experience if I am given an opportunity.

I am actually studying HTML, CSS, and Now JavaScript, I haven't really started with JavaScript but I will, and I will also start doing the free courses I find for UI/UX design.

Now, what I am wondering is if UI/Us design can be done remotely or WFH...I think they could be done at home but I'm not sure yet because I don't have experience of working yet and all. So, I'm actually terrified I'm making a big mistake...also I have severe anxiety with getting in contact with people because I am very anti-social and introverted that I forgot how to make friends 🥲

Anyways, if there is any advices from well experience people out there, I would really be happy to hear any advices or experience you have because I am completely lost!

Hello, I am here to ask for advices from experienced people who already went through a lot!

You see, I am 21 turning 22 this year and I am only a highschool graduate in the Philippines. And as you know or might not know, in the Philippines...when you only finished highschool and never mad it to college, your fucked 🥲😊

Why? Because companies in the Philippines are strict and they prefer people who actually graduated from good universities and has bachelor degrees and etc.

So, for me...I am truly and very fucked, I keep telling myself my life isn't over yet and everything will be okay. So, right now I am with my family and is thinking of doing free courses online with free certificate and probably try to accumulate experience if I am given an opportunity.

I am actually studying HTML, CSS, and Now JavaScript, I haven't really started with JavaScript but I will, and I will also start doing the free courses I find for UI/UX design.

Now, what I am wondering is if UI/Us design can be done remotely or WFH...I think they could be done at home but I'm not sure yet because I don't have experience of working yet and all. So, I'm actually terrified I'm making a big mistake...also I have severe anxiety with getting in contact with people because I am very anti-social and introverted that I forgot how to make friends 🥲

Anyways, if there is any advices from well experience people out there, I would really be happy to hear any advices or experience you have because I am completely lost!