u/Wonderful-Bee-2826

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I need to get this off my chest because the whole situation is both ridiculous and genuinely upsetting.

When I was younger, I self-harmed. At the time, I stupidly thought it was “cool.” I grew up, moved on from that phase, and the scars stayed.

Years later, during my internship, I started having strange episodes of uncontrollable shaking in my legs and painful spasms in my fingers. I went to internal medicine several times because nobody could figure out what was causing them. Nothing seemed to stop the episodes, not even Valium.

Eventually I just went to a private doctor (idk if it's the correct term) and found out it was organic, and it was a stress induced episodes, thankfully I got treatment.

Fast-forward 11 months, and I'm now an intern in that same department.

A few days ago, I overheard them talking about an intern who had previously come to the department with my same symptoms, and self-harm scars.

The more I heard them talking the more I realized they were talking about me (they didn't remember me).

Apparently, i was “on drugs.”

And the mysterious tremors and spasms were drug withdrawal.

I just stood there thinking:

I can laugh at the absurdity of it, but honestly, it really hurt.

I remember what it felt like to walk into that department scared and confused and embarrassed for coming multiple and now thinking of it I remember after the third time they stopped trying to help.

Hearing that experience later turned into “she was on drugs” was incredibly upsetting.

Hearing them talk about me and judge me, even though it made me feel sad for those who were struggling with real addiction, those who recovered to be judged based on a scar, by people they trusted to help you, for their suffering to be turned into their subject of gossip.

I didn't reveal it was me, but it made me lose respect for them.

When i become a doctor I'll do my best to be there for my patients to respect hear and understand them,

I wish to never become someone like them.

Hello everyone , i've been drawing for a year and realized i need a structed lesson to follow so i decided to buy doodle warriors portrait lession it's 29 dollars a month, but someone here said his paetreon have lesson 1 and it's only 10 dollars, so do u reccomand it? Or is there's any lessons that u reccomd

Thank u