u/WonderingRedditor5

My question: For divorced parents (especially those with teenage daughters), is it healthy for children to effectively have veto power over whether a parent dates or pursues a serious relationship? Or is the healthier approach for the parent to make that decision while helping the children adjust over time?

Why I’m asking:
I’m a 41F, never married and no children, dating a divorced father with full custody of his children.
One of the things I admire about him is how devoted he is as a father. We’ve spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and we both see genuine long-term potential. 💕

Recently, though, after realizing how much potential we have together, he became very anxious about telling his children that he wants to start dating again. He’s not introducing me to them; he’s only planning to tell them that he’d like to start dating in general. It’s been 4 years since the divorce and they don’t want him to get back with their mom but they’ve also never talked about him remarrying. He wants me to be a part of their life and I want the same, as much as they’d like. He’s devastated that his kids never got to have a healthy relationship with their mom.

In a vulnerable conversation, he told me to “protect my heart” because if his children (especially his teenage daughter) don’t handle it well, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to move forward. 🥲. He is worried they will feel scared of losing him once he falls in love, as he’s all they feel they have (due to estrangement of their mother).

His oldest daughter became very close to him after the separation and has taken on a lot of responsibility within the family. I completely understand why she’s protective of him, and I genuinely admire how much he loves his kids. I’m not looking for anyone to criticize him.

What I’m trying to understand is whether this is a normal, difficult transition that many divorced families work through, or whether it’s usually a sign that the parent isn’t emotionally ready to build a new relationship yet.

I’m asking because I don’t want to become more emotionally invested if people who’ve lived this experience would say this is a situation that’s unlikely to work. I’d especially appreciate hearing from divorced parents, adult children of divorce, or stepparents who have been through something similar.

Im 42 and intentional because I want kids. He’s early 40s, separated after a long marriage, and brand new to dating apps, very smart and analytical, busy exec career.
Over the past month he’s invested a *lot*: long voice notes, video calls, deep compatibility questions, sharing childhood trauma, values, religion, parenting, expressing deep interest and tons of thoughtful compliments. It feels like we’ve covered what I’d normally cover after 1-2 months of dating.

The catch: we still haven’t met.

Ive been warm and enthusiastic, but I intentionally held back some of the deeper emotional sharing because I prefer building that bond in person. He interpreted that as me being guarded. I explained otherwise but not sure if it’s sinking in on his side.

He’s been incredibly engaged most of the time but then he’ll suddenly become polite but a bit distant so I do more heavy communication lifting.

I have 15 years on and off online dating experience so know this is a rare match, hence why I’m giving it more thought than I’d normally.

We had an amazing video call Friday covered a ton of compatibility. He made plans to come help me with something. He’s at his family home for the weekend helping them but he asked me to text. I did yesterday and he gave a brief polite reply only. Nothing today.

So I’m confused. Normally, I don’t chase at all and let men lead at this prefirst date stage. Should I do more or should I just let it go and assume he’s not into me.

I’m drowning.

Changed jobs earlier this year and now traveling 2-3 weeks a month.

Single, trying to manage a house. Now that it’s spring, tons of yard work on top of thr house work.

House needs major organization and cleaning.

I cannot keep up and it’s getting worse by the week.

Do I hire help? How do I find good help that understands ADHD? I hired an organizer for a while who claimed to know ADHD but it was a disaster and helped not at all.

I need a partner and need to focus on dating so now I have even less time to clean but also even more need for a clean home (so I don’t scare my next bf away).

My company recently launched a new North American division. I was transferred into it from an established division, and they hired a second salesperson shortly afterward.

I’m based in Canada. He’s based in the U.S.

Management has decided I can only sell to Canadian-headquartered accounts, while he gets the entire U.S. market. In our industry, that’s probably 10x the opportunity.

What frustrates me is that I’m doing much of the heavy lifting to identify market opportunities, translate the technical side into customer value, and build the go-to-market strategy. A lot of that comes from my engineering background and years of industry experience. In team meetings, many of the ideas and insights being discussed originated from work I’ve already done.

Meanwhile, my colleague is being handed leads at massive U.S. companies that simply don’t exist in Canada.

The strange part is that our customers often operate on both sides of the border, so territories don’t necessarily have to be split by country. When I told my manager I’d like access to U.S. accounts as well, his response was that it “wouldn’t be fair” to the new guy. When I asked why, he couldn’t really explain.

What bothers me is feeling like I’m being asked to run the same race with a much smaller territory and fewer opportunities to make an impact.

I’ve never been someone who complains about fairness, but every time another major U.S. opportunity gets assigned to him, I feel my motivation take a hit. I genuinely feel sad and the energy is sucked out of me.

I know life isn’t fair. Really I do. Am I overreacting, or would this bother you too?

Hi Sales Team Managers:

I’m in a frustrating situation where I work with a woman who is upset I’m in my role and wishes she was. I joined last year. She’s been with the company for 8 years.
Consequently she is constantly undermining/mildly bullying me in that subtle way a woman can do to another woman but that is hard for a lot of men to be able to correctly identify. At the same time, she twists stories around and complains to her boss who then tells my boss. I was moved to a separate division (thank god) however we still overlap on some projects and also at trade shows.

On the outside, especially to men, it looks like we are 2 squabbling women when it fact it’s one woman causing issues for the other yet presenting herself as the victim.

I refrain from sharing about 95% of my experiences about her to maintain professionalism and because I’m not into politics and tattletelling.

Is this a mistake? She is actively planting seeds of doubt against my reputation. I know my boss hates hearing about this crap. I’ve been trying to ignore her and just focus on doing a good job because I’m not good at playing politics but In starting to think I’m being naive taking this approach.

What should I do? I don’t want to have to change jobs.

Does it matter if she is quite overweight but more like pleasantly plump?

Does it matter how polished her hair, makeup etc is?

I’ve put a fair amount of effort into maintaining my appearance my some new hires seem to be less bothered by theirs and I just wonder, if I’m wasting my time.