u/WorldlyCaregiver2535

Am I the only one that I can't think about anything and I mean no thought at ALL whenever someone asks me to describe my emotions? Cause like someone asks me to describe it using a picture or a word or something but I just can't, nothing comes to mind, my mind becomes completely blank and then whenever I can't answer they get upset with me because they think that I'm just refusing to participate but its just that I can't describe it at all. And no matter how hard I try to tell them that, they refuse to listen to me and it's been like this for as long as I can remember. They then say that my body is saying something else but I don't know what they mean because I just can't think at all, no thoughts come to mind about my emotions or my body language, because I know that I'm feeling an emotion but I can't describe it. My mom says that I used to be able to express myself but something must've happened whenever she and my dad had to move away and me and my brother were basically sent to live with my relatives who were kind of like strangers to us.

I’ve had a problem for as long as I can remember where I can’t explain my emotions. It’s not that I don’t understand emotion words like sad or angry, I know what they mean, but whenever I try to figure out what I’m feeling, my mind goes completely blank. I can’t find words, images, or anything in my head to describe it, and the more I try, the more blank my mind gets to the point that even it someone gave me photos or words to choose from I can't even move. Because of that, things like feeling wheels or “just describe it” don’t work for me. I might feel something in real situations, but when I try to think about it afterward, I can’t access it or explain it at all. Even basic questions like “what are you feeling?” just leave me with nothing in my mind.I’ve tried explaining this to people like my family and friends, but no one seems to understand what I mean or they think I just need to try harder, even though I genuinely can’t access anything to describe. I don't know if this is weird.

Am I the only one that I can't think about anything and I mean no thought at ALL whenever someone asks me to describe my emotions? Cause like someone asks me to describe it using a picture or a word or something but I just can't, nothing comes to mind, my mind becomes completely blank and then whenever I can't answer they get upset with me because they think that I'm just refusing to participate but its just that I can't describe it at all. And no matter how hard I try to tell them that, they refuse to listen to me and it's been like this for as long as I can remember. They then say that my body is saying something else but I don't know what they mean because I just can't think at all, no thoughts come to mind about my emotions or my body language, I might think about Mizi from alien stage, anime or I start to analyze the other person to see how they react. Cause I know that I'm feeling an emotion but I can't describe it.

For context, my dad has a job that sometimes require him to leave for a few months sometimes. This has happened about 5 times. This time he is gone for about 6 months and I don't exactly feel sad or anything because this isn't the first time and it won't be the last. I never really feel anything for anyone because my mom also has a similar job and has had to leave for a few months as well. Anyway, the reason I am thinking about this is because sometimes whenever I see other kids who's parent has been gone for like a month, they are sobbing, like full on sobbing, but I've never done that even whenever I was younger and whenever I tell someone why my mom/dad is gone they ask me if I feel upset and whenever I answer no, they look at me weirdly. I also told my therapist because she asked me how I feel about my dad being gone and that I might be feeling sad or nervous but whenever I told her that I don't really feel anything she raises her pitch a little and says, " really, nothing at all" and gives me a confused face. I don't know if this is a normal thing to be because even my mom and brother were upset about him being gone. Like all of my friends leave and I don't feel anything. All I feel now is guilt because I feel as though I am a heartless person who doesn't even care about their dad. even when a person comes back I'm just like, oh you're back.