u/Wrong-Initiative8360

I had multiple seizures leading to head injuries on concrete (i would have nightmares about my head hitting concrete for months) and a cat scan showing damage.

I was discharged from the hospital and I’d moved house and basically started my life over again. The best way to describe it is like being good in the short term. I could have conversations with people and follow things and vocabulary etc but I couldn’t recall, pretty much a lot of the past decade.

It was kind of freeing. Kind of shitty but I dealt with it (no medical aftercare and I’d lost faith with hospital at this stage). but yeah genuinely felt like I’d exorcised all of my demons! pretty content with things to be honest.

anyway now approx 6 months later with good nutrition, sleeping, vitamins and routine etc i find myself being able to recall more and more memory each day. Like I’ll literally make a bunch of memory links to really horrific or unsettling thoughts and it’s kind of getting more difficult to manage my new found grateful perspective when a lot of the old stuff is coming back and I loowkey wish I could go back to month 3 where I’d just accepted several years of my life as a blank ahahah.

also I know a lot of this is probably above reddits pay grade. And I 100% can see the psychiatric trauma play out affecting all of this as well. Just low-key wanted to vent

TLDR: I forgot most of my life for a few months and it was really great and I loved 10/10 would recommend ahahaa….until I started remembering who I was again.

longtime lurker, first time poster!

my history with ketamine has been pretty much 8 years of continuous use. started in uni, got bad and have struggled with drinking etc.

difficult to admit but throughout all of my hospitalisations and detoxes i used (something Ive only recently told a psychologist/opened up about etc).

for the first time, Ive been able to have periods of sobriety (my longest being 1 weeks!). I have a longtime friend who struggles with ket and since being sober off drink and having these periods of sobriety, Ive really been able to see we don’t even really have a good friendship and they pretty much only hang out with me tween theyve run out of k and want some.

anyway this is turning into a ramble. but yeah, every time recently I’ll have an isolated episode of doing k. and then lose all routine and go back into daily usage. I don’t want this anymore and it becomes so difficult to get my life back on track (think 6 days of not leaving my room and sleeping for 13+ hours until several days later where I can eventually shower. And brush my teeth. And try to get back to normal again).

having money is a massive trigger as well and I quickly become a person i don’t like very rapidly. Ive not managed to have a recent payday which hasn’t ended in a lapse and I don’t want to resign myself to the finality of that happening again so was kind of hoping for advice on getting a normality back to my life and help with avoiding triggers? thanks for all of your help in advance!