u/Wrong_Clock_4880

This feels like a silly question

But

Can anyone explain why my Total Reward Statement is only updated to 31/3/2022?

I thought it updated every August?

Just want to say this to people who understand

It is hard to be a carer

If is hard to leave work, do some grocery shopping, get home from work, cook a meal, tidy up, make sure your LO is ok and doesn’t need anything, sort the laundry, sort the dishes, sort you LO for the night etc etc etc

Rinse and repeat

Even with all the love in the world- it’s hard

Does anyone else find themselves randomly weeping?

Little things will trigger my (48f) tears; an ad, an article in the paper, something I hear, music, a random flare of emotion

The tears will fall uncontrollably and then they’ll stop

It’s impossible to control them

The thing is, overall my mental health is in a good place. I’m much more content than I’ve been for ages. Therapy is helping me a lot in most ways

I’m wondering if this inability to control my tears is due to perimenopausal hormone flux

I’ve been a doctor for 25yrs now, and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to deal with constant exposure to illness and suffering and trauma and death

I work in EM, so the clinical work is constantly high acuity and constantly getting more complex. Pts are sicker

As I get older, I can’t help but be affected by the patients I see. It’s quite hard to distance myself. I find it hard to remember that there’s a majority of the population who aren’t sick and distressed or suffering from multiple cancers at the same time

How do others cope with this?

Edit to reply: thank you all for commenting. Some food for thought.

It’s just hard isn’t it, watching your once vital and energetic parent fade and fade

It’s like the colour fading from a photo with exposure to the sun. The more time that passes, the more faded the person gets

I know it’s normal. I know that it’s ridiculous to expect someone at 90 to be the same as they were at 65 or 70 or even 80

My LO says often that the body is a machine, after decades and decades of constant use, it starts to get worn

But it’s just hard to watch. It’s hard to accept

It’s hard because I can’t stop time and I wish I could. I wish I could stop time and keep them healthy and vital and energetic. Forever.

But I can’t. I know that

But it’s hard

Hello everyone

I am not a housekeeper, but I have a wonderful lady who comes to my house twice a week. She is paid an hourly rate, and whilst we have a basic agreement about how long she comes for each visit, if she goes over, we pay her for that time (eg last Wednesday, she wanted to get something finished so she needed to stay for 3.75hrs rather than 2, so we paid her for 4hrs)

For all the housekeepers/cleaners we have had over the years, we have always paid an hourly rate (in the UK)

This seems to be the norm amongst all the people I know who have help, and amongst the ladies who have been working with us

It seems in America that a flat rate ‘per job’ is preferred

I have been curious as to why that is

Would anyone mind sharing their thoughts on this?

Many thanks in advance

Editing to add: thank you all for your considered and informative replies. I’m grateful

I’m asking for opinions please, not advice

I have 3 credit cards with 0% interest, totalling about £11k.

(The cards were used to pay for big chunky pieces of expenditure on the house, not just uncontrolled spending)

I am paying these off regularly as per my initial plan and will have each of them fully paid off within the interest free period

On the other hand- I have the cash to pay them off now if I wanted to

One important piece of information: for personal reasons, I prefer not to earn interest on any money in the bank, I cannot use interest in my savings/growth/plans for the future. I can put money in stocks/shares

My question (for opinions, not advice!)

Would you keep the money in the bank, and pay off the credit cards as planned (within their interest free period)?

Or

Would you pay the cards off now, and use the monthly money to do something else (could be saving in s+s, but just as likely to get spent on life)?

I’m curious what people would do

My mother is 88.

Today, she just felt unwell and weak. Not sick, no pain, no other symptoms- but just weak

I don’t know what to do for her - I’m a medical professional, and my instinct is to take her to hosp and medicalise this all

But I also know what I’d say if I saw her as a patient. She’s fine. She’s alert and oriented. Her heart rate is fine. Her BP is fine. Her resp rate is fine. She’s well perfused. Her colour is fine. Taking her to hospital comes with its own risks.

I know that, as time goes on, people become weaker. I know that everyone has ups and downs. I know she’s reached a venerable age and that I can’t stop time

I also know that medicalising things comes with its own problems

I thought I’d give it a day or so; I’m working from home for the next two days so she won’t be alone and I can respond as she needs me to

Please can someone just tell me that this is reasonable.

I’ve been fine, and now suddenly I find myself in a pit of despair

No trigger but my own thoughts- just a well of sadness deep inside me

Rationally I know this is silly and pointless, but I want to reach into my chest and pull out this hollowness that has settled in just behind my heart

What do others do when this happens to them? Does it happen to them!?