u/Wrong_Squash6344

I (F) met this man about 10 years ago. We became friends and then a little more than friends. After about 2 years, I found out he was seeing someone else and then he ghosted me. About 2 years later he messaged me and I didn’t reply. When COVID happened, I messaged him back because I did miss him and our friendship. We became inseparable. In December of 2020, he was having financial trouble and moved in with me. His son lived with us part time. Between December of 2020 and September of 2024, things went well. I bought a house and we all moved over there. We got along great. In 2021, he lost his job. He got another job in August of 2021, but quit that one. He lost his car after that. I was the only one working. We never defined our relationship. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship but I let myself believe we were in one. We lived as a couple. People around us assumed we were married.
In Sept. of 2024, he said he was going to a friend’s house and took my car. Something felt wrong. He was texting infrequently and sending pictures from his friend’s house. I checked the location on the car and it was in another town. Eventually I found out through phone records that he was going to see a girl. He was taking my car and lying about it. He stopped talking to that girl. Then in May 2025, he started talking to and dating a girl. He said we were never in a relationship and he was doing nothing wrong. I couldn’t handle it. He wanted me to be totally emotionless about it and I couldn’t be. He didn’t have a car so she was picking him up and dropping him off at the house. I was not in a good place emotionally. I felt used and betrayed. I felt like I had lived a lie for the past 5 years. Eventually he got a job and a car and when I found out they were going on a cruise together I told him he had 60 days to leave. He left. In Dec. 2025, he contacted me said things were bad and asked to come back. I said okay. In March 2026, he contacted the ex girlfriend and didn’t understand why that upset me. They broke up in April 2026, got back together and then in May 2026 broke up again. Each time she comes back into the picture the house gets unbearable. It puts me in a bad place of reliving the betrayal. I had asked him to move out. The last time they broke up, he asked to stay since they weren’t together anymore. I said okay because we get along fine without the ex in the picture. He contacted her again yesterday and is meeting her tonight. I told myself that if he contacted her again, I would ask him to leave. He wants me to be fine with it and blames me. I can’t move on with him still here and he obviously can. He says this time will be different that he’s not going to start dating her again. Is it wrong for me to ask him to move out? He doesn’t have any savings and I’m assuming the only place for him to go w ould be to move in with the ex that he says he’s not dating.

I met this man, Jay, about 10 years ago. We became friends and then a little more than friends. After about 2 years, I found out he was seeing someone else and then he ghosted me. About 2 years later he messaged me and I didn’t reply. When COVID happened, I messaged him back because I did miss him and our friendship. We became inseparable. In December of 2020, he was having financial trouble and moved in with me. His son lived with us part time. Between December of 2020 and September of 2024, things went well. I bought a house and we all moved over there. We got along great. In 2021, he lost his job. He got another job in August of 2021, but quit that one. He lost his car after that. I was the only one working. He was trying to get a business off the ground but the work ethic just wasnt there. He had a health crisis in early and I stayed with him in the hospital for 2 weeks. We never defined our relationship. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship but I let myself believe we were in one. We lived together, ate together, took vacations together, budgeted together, and worked on share projects and goals together. We lived as a couple. People around us assumed we were married.
In Sept. of 2024, he said he was going to a friend’s house and took my car. Something felt wrong. He was texting infrequently and sending pictures from his friend’s house. I checked the location on the car and it was in another town. When I confronted him, he said he needed space. Then he started going to a friends house every Friday morning and then every other Saturday he would spend the night. This sent me into a spiral. Eventually I found out through phone records that he was going to see a girl. He was taking my car and lying about it. He stopped talking to that girl. Then in May 2025, he started talking to and dating a girl. He said we were never in a relationship and he was doing nothing wrong. I couldn’t handle it. He wanted me to be totally emotionless about it and I couldn’t be. He didn’t have a car so she was picking him up and dropping him off at the house. I was not in a good place emotionally. I felt used and betrayed. I felt like I had lived a lie for the past 5 years. Eventually he got a job and a car and when I found out they were going on a cruise together I told him he had 60 days to leave. He left. In Dec. 2025, he contacted me said things were bad and asked to come back. I said okay. In March 2026, he contacted the ex girlfriend and didn’t understand why that upset me. They broke up in April 2026, got back together and then in May 2026 broke up again. Each time she comes back into the picture the house gets unbearable. It puts me in a bad place of reliving the betrayal. He will leave his son with me overnight to spend the night with his ex. Sometimes he didn’t even let me know. Even though he’s 16, it feels like the responsibility is being dropped on me. The last time they broke up, I had asked him to move out but he asked to stay since they weren’t together anymore. I said okay because we get along fine without the ex in the picture. He contacted her again yesterday and is meeting her tonight. I told myself that if he contacted her again, I would ask him to leave. He wants me to be fine with it and blames me for not being able to control my emotions. I can’t move on with him still here and he obviously can. He’s talked to about 4 girls in the three weeks he’s been broken up with the ex this time. He says this time will be different that he’s not going to start dating her again. Should I wait and see if this time is different or should I just ask him to leave?